Confession .257. Maybe I Like To Hurt Sometimes…

i’m bracin for impact, leave my heart intact
i wish You never came around
New situation with low expectations
You still managed to let me down…

If Y/you’ve been here for any length of time, you know i’m an absolute stan for Gabbie Hanna, and she’s releasing a new EP tomorrow (5/31).  Recently she released a video that was a behind-the-scenes of her songwriting process, and this is the song that came from that.  (A few that got the EP early, i assume in other timezones, have posted it to Youtube, but i believe an official music video is dropping tomorrow with the EP.)

Confession .256. I Swear To God When I Come Home, I’ll Never Let Go…

And i need You to know that W/we’re falling so fast
W/we’re falling like the stars – falling in love
And i’m not scared to say those words, with You i’m safe
W/we’re falling like the stars – falling in love…

You mayyyy already know what this is… but… hear me out anyway.  *giggles*

Confession .255. I’m The Bad Guy, Duh…

So You’re a tough Guy, like it really rough Guy
Just can’t get enough Guy, chest always so puffed Guy
i’m that bad type, make Your mama sad type
Make Your girlfriend mad type, might seduce Your Dad type
i’m the bad guy… duh…

i used to be really into photo contests, especially as i was actively working my ass off to make my photos into something i was proud of.  Now that i’m usually satisfied with the outcome of most of my photos, i’ve allowed my competitive nature to settle the hell down.  i only enter things when i’m inspired – like last year when i put a photo into the Swallow Ears contest… it’s still one of my favorite photos i’ve done in the last little bit.

So i wasn’t planning to enter this contest until i took a walk through the event and heard this song on the radio last night.  Lol.

Confession .254. Just Hold On And I’ll Find You…

They say, “Don’t get bitter, get better,”
i’m working on switchin them letters
But tell God i’ma need a whole lot of hope keeping it together
i’m smilin in everyone’s face
i’m cryin whenever they leave the room
They don’t know the battle i face, they don’t understand what i’m going through…

No matter how many times i start listening to this song, intend to blog with it, and then change at the last minute to something else based on where the rambling writing of the post goes, i always seem to come back… these lyrics always seem to resonate deeply with me…

In honor of May being Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s have a chat…

Confession .253. This Is The World We Made…

Prey on the Powerful
Masters of the game
We run with the wolves in the shadows
We’ll chase them down, oh, til we’re face to face…

i had inspiration to build today, but with LL’s maintenance window starting today, i figured it would be safer instead to do some pictures.  Lol.  At least relogging hasn’t caused problems for me yet.  -knocking on wood-

Confession .252. My Tongue Is A Weapon, And I’m Locked And Loaded…

i’m merciless, when will You learn?
Set fires just to watch them burn
i bet You never saw me coming…

i’ve said… a lot… that i don’t understand the way humans treat each other sometimes.  And i get that the particular wording of that sounds like i count myself outside of something human – and at times i do.  i lack the emotional quotient to intelligently infer peoples’ emotions like Y/y’all can do.  In those moments, i feel less than human – like i fail at the most basic concepts of being human.

Confession .251. But It Was Your Game That Left Scars…

i’m over You and i don’t need Your lies no more
Cause the truth is without You, boy, i’m stronger
And i know You said i changed with my cold heart
But it was Your game that left scars
Ooo, i’m over You…

Have Y/you ever felt like no matter what kind of effort Y/you make, it will never been good enough?  Y/you’ll just never be ‘at home’ amongst a group of P/people, despite T/them priding T/themselves on being so ‘open’ and ‘welcoming’?  Yeah… me either…

Confession .250. Thought We Built A Dynasty Like Nothing Ever Made…

The scar i can’t reverse
When the more it heals, the more it hurts
Gave You every piece of me, no wonder it’s missing
Don’t know how to be so close to Someone so distant…

i didn’t exactly intend for this to come out looking bridal – i just liked the color combination and loved the style of this gown, but i suppose it’s appropriate with what’s been on my mind lately.  Demons from my past…