I Recommend Sticking Your Foot In Your Mouth At Any Time…

You live, you learn
You love, you learn
You cry, you learn
You lose, you learn
You bleed, you learn
You scream, you learn…

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Ireland has always been a dream.  In both RL and SL.

In RL, my father’s side is mostly Irish.  It’s where the natural red pigment in my blonde hair comes from… where my temper (natural, non-bipolar induced) temper comes from… and the reason that no one believes me when I tell them I’m a lightweight and can’t hold my liquor.  My last name is an Irish one, even if it doesn’t appear to be at first… and that’s only because my family changed it when they came over here.

Apparently there was a time when Americans were prejudicial against Irish immigrating.  (Americans prejudicial against immigrants?  Never!  … Sorry…)

I remember back in high school, a girl I was in band with would go to Ireland once a year, every summer, to visit family that still lives there.  She’d come back and for a good few weeks afterwards, her accent was incredibly thick.  I remember being incredibly jealous that she got to over EVERY YEAR to the country I wanted to see just ONCE.

The difference being, I don’t know the first thing about how to find any of my family members there, if any of them are even still there somewhere.

In SL, my Irish dreams are more superficial in nature.

Saleena (Miss Virtual Ireland 2012) and more specifically Sessie (Miss Virtual Ireland 2013) are two women in fashion that I have looked up to considerably since I started.  Sessie and I got to be friends through the nightmare clusterfuck that was Miss Metaverse 2013, and ever since seeing the amazing women that have always seemed to be representing Ireland, it’s been my dream as well.

In 2014, I tried that… I tried my damnedest for MVW, and I fell short.  I no longer consider it a ‘failure’, as I did all I could do and tried the best that I could at the time.  It just wasn’t good enough, and that wasn’t my fault.  Shanty went on to be Ireland that year and became yet another name in my list of “Ireland reps” that I looked up to.  For MVW 2015, I wasn’t into the idea of auditioning… for reasons that you can read about in the last post I made.  With MVW dissolving into what it has under new ownership, I had pretty much resolved that my Ireland dreams had to dissolve with it.

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And then, as melodramatic as this sounds, some hope was found somewhere.  Lol.  Marcus announced Miss SL and I was super excited about it.

Not just about the possibility of my Ireland dreams being rekindled, but about the possibility of a modeling competition that just may have the fairness that is sought all over the grid and found NOWHERE.  (Well, except one place, but I’d rather not mention that particular pageant in such a negative post alongside names like MVW and Miss SL.)  Of course, I was warned.  Many times over.  By many different people.  Publicly and privately.  By people I knew and people I didn’t know.  People who were close to me and acquaintances.  Like… people came out of the WOODWORK to warn me about getting involved in this project in ANY way.

My IMs and notices cap regularly… but this was capping not only daily, but any time I would log out.

I took their opinions and filed them away, but I continued on anyway.  I have made the mistake in the past of judging people based solely on the opinions of others, believing that these people were trying to “save me the agony” of dealing with them, and have found that, in most cases, they are wrong, and I’d missed out on some pretty awesome people.  From then on, I vowed that I would only base my opinions on my personal experiences with individuals.

Of course, I should’ve remembered that Marcus is the same person who reclaimed sims in the middle of an event, autoreturning everyone’s items that were not in his group, and this ruining and dismantling my 300+ prim runway that had taken WEEKS to build, while I was putting it into a rez box.  (Granted, I can see the justification in his reasoning… HOWEVER, that is a runway that I STILL have not managed to piece back together from my lost and found folder.  And I likely never will.)

And I probably should’ve remembered that the people running this alongside Marcus are the same people that used to run MVW, with which I have had equally negative experiences.

But I was giving everyone a clean-slate, in my mind.  I was being a better person than I used to be.  And I was being a professional model, seeking out the opportunity to be pushed and challenged to grow in this new venue.  And I was totally selfishly pursuing my Ireland dream.

I submitted my picture for the first round and wasn’t chosen to walk.  Then again, I had taken a bit of a ‘risk’, I guess, as far as pageantry is concerned and had left my piercings in.  So, the second round, I submitted the amazing picture that Pam Astonia had done for me and was chosen to walk.  Now, I know me.  And I overthink every styling challenge given to me. Especially ones that are incredibly vague and have ZERO theme whatsoever.

“Dress to impress the judges, don’t underestimate the value of a first impression.  Be elegant, be fabulous, be you.”

That is what we had to go on.

So, rather than overthinking and overstyling like I do 90% of the time, I challenged myself to stay simple, clean, and elegant.  There were few prims, but what there were, were perfectly edited, including the 4 1/2 hours it took to edit that back necklace to sit underneath the halter collar of the dress.  (Please note, I’m blogging my original version of this styling, because I like the lighter red hair.  For the audition walk, I had a darker red messy bun at the base of my neck,, above the collar, and a black couture umbrella hat from Pure Poison.)  I had even finally given in and requested Ponchi’s aid in helping me with the proportions of my face (mostly my cheekbones) to get the ‘youthful’ look out of my face while still keeping my Glam Affair skin.

I was totally ready.  Despite being sick as hell, I was ready for this walk and, for once, completely confident in my chosen poses.  They were me, but they were appropriate to the outfit, and I’d even tossed in a couple 360 sequences to show the back detailing of the necklace which I LOVED.

I did my walk.  And I rubberbanded when I first went out, but I didn’t let it shake me.  I owned that damn runway for the time I was on it, and I did exactly what I was supposed to do.  Exactly what I’d come to do.  I killed it.  And I was incredibly satisfied with everything I did.  There wasn’t one thing I could’ve done differently (well, nothing that wouldn’t have made it less ‘me’).  And there wasn’t one thing I did that I could’ve done better, for the styling, for the ‘me’ that I needed to keep in the styling, and for the motivation of proving I could do it even though half of them likely thought I couldn’t.  It was as perfect as I could have made it.

And so when I woke up from a nap and looked at the list of girls who had gone through and didn’t see my name, I was totally a little bit sad.  My sadness quickly morphed to irritation, though, when I saw a few names that most definitely did not deserve to be there, and some other names absent that DID deserve it.

I’m sorry, but there were some stylings that just… weren’t done well.  And there were some that weren’t chosen that were amazing.

And of course, when I IMed Ponchi about it (admittedly in defensive Tivi mode), she and the organization took absolutely zero responsibility for the decisions they made, and the blatant lies they told.  She encouraged me to ask for feedback, which I had been considering, though when I had asked several of the girls that walked in the first round if they had gotten feedback, they said they’d asked, and received nothing.  So all the b.s. they fed us about getting feedback was quite obviously a lie.  I wasn’t about to waste my time only to be ignored by so many others before me had.  And like we always had been by the people who think they’re the best thing since sliced bread.

Though the line from my conversation with Ponchi that really set me off was this one, “The judges don’t give feedback.  The organization does.”  That SCREAMED ‘drink the koolaid’ to me… and for those who don’t understand the phrase, google it or something.  Like… the judges were the ones making the decision, not the organization, right?  And so if the JUDGES are the only ones making the decision, and not the organization, then the judges are the ones that should be able to say, “You know, on my viewer, your ears didn’t match your skintone.”  Or, “I saw your earring sticking into the collar of your dress.”  It makes me wonder, if the ORGANIZATION is the only one offering the feedback, and not the JUDGES who supposedly made the decision, then who is really making the decisions here?  And what criterion is actually being used?

We’ll never know, because we know they’ll NEVER be transparent about any of it.  Hell, they won’t even take responsibility for the decisions they make.

In essence, all of this just goes to show me – hopefully more than just me – that nothing has changed with this particular group of people.  It will still be just as messed up as it has always been.  It will still be just as low-ball, just as conniving, just as self-serving, and just as ‘under the table’ as it has always been.  It will still be that dirty little secret that they think they’re keeping, when everyone already knows.

Because, at the end of the day, a tiger doesn’t change its stripes – and neither does a weasel.

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*~* I Recommend Sticking Your Foot In Your Mouth At Any Time… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Artemis (Asia Tone; Makeup Option 04) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Promise Eyes (Apex) – IKON
Hair: Nicole (light reds) – enVOGUE
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: French Manicure (Pastels) – Nailed It
Freckle/Blush: Lillith Fair (Freckle Blush Only) – Madrid Solo
Lipstick: Pearlina (Lips Only) – Madrid Solo
Gown: Evita Formal (White) – Kelini Haute Couture
Earrings/Necklace: Tiffany Back Necklace & Earrings (Silver) – Maxi Gossamer
Hand Bracelets/Rings: Opalis (Silver; For Slink Elegant) – Formanails @ Designer Circle
* Sold in versions compatible with Standard Avatar, Slink Elegant, Elegant 1, and Casual.

Poses: various from PosESioN‘s newest Gold collection

Location: Salt Water
* P.S. I totally got to talk to the Sim Owner today while I was sitting around writing this blog.  Tre is a super awesome person, and incredibly chill.  His easygoing demeanor definitely calmed the ragey Tivi that was writing this post, so Tre if you’re seeing this, thank you for being awesome, and for the lovely work of art you and Sunshine have brought to this sim.  I look forward to seeing the others.

Blogging Tune: “You Learn” – Alanis Morissette

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Home, Let Me Come Home…

I’ll follow you into the park
Through the jungle, through the dark
Girl, I’ve never loved one like you…

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More new things!  *Giggles*

In an effort to catch up on some stuff that came through my inventory while I was dealing with holiday stuff and moving, there may be times when I (attempt to) blog multiple outfits in the same post.  Some of you find this to be bad practice, or whatever… but at this point, I’d prefer to make sure that more creations get shown, as opposed to focusing on individual posts for EVERYTHING which will simply burn me out.  Especially at this stage in the game where I’m playing catch-up.

Two of my favourite gowns in my inventory at the moment both come from Kiddo Oh of Dead Dollz, and they were both designed for Miss Virtual World candidates this year.  The first gown I want to show you below, is “Andalusia”, made for Miss Virtual Spain 2015.  The second gown you’ll see is “Tanguera”, made for Miss Virtual Argentina 2015.

Both of these gowns dwell in a color palette of black and red, and both are unique in their own way.  Both are extremely well-crafted, so of COURSE I fell in love with them immediately.

(And then I’ve got Jacob in the background saying, “I really like this dress.  Well, the bottom half.”  LOL.)

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It was interesting to sit on the sidelines and watch some friends I’d grown close to take their MVW journey without me.  After some incredibly negative experiences in Colour of Couture, I just couldn’t see subjecting myself to MVW when they are now run by the same people.  So I smiled and nodded, wished my CoC sisters, and some other friends, the best of luck on their individual journeys, and watched as the challenges unfolded before my eyes, on Flickr and Facebook.

From a spectator perspective, there were a lot of interesting challenges this year.  Some stylists hit them head-on and went all out with it… and I loved seeing some things that they came up with.  Jamee Sandalwood was one of my favourites to watch, as was Trinity Aironaut.  And Eleseren with the swimwear challenge blew me away.  Then again, I LOVE color, so I was totally biased.  LOL.

Either way, it was fun to just sit back and watch.  Will I ever try to do MVW?  I don’t know. At this point, from where I’m sitting right now, in this moment, no.  I never will.  Because I don’t have enough personal belief in capabilities of the leadership to instill a sense of individuality and creativity among the contestants, as opposed to conformity to some ideal that squashes everything they are as a PERSON.  I can’t get behind that.  I’m sorry, but I can’t.

For right now, I’m just lingering back.  I’m doing Mr&Miss Model International because it compounds on a few ideas that I’ve been looking for in fashion from the very beginning: creativity and individuality are EMBRACED… and FEEDBACK is offered after every challenge.  That is the thing that makes me hold up my pom-poms and scream “Whoo MMI!”  I’ve been dying for feedback for years.  As a dancer it’s crucial.  As a model, I feel it is too.  How do you know how to better prepare for the next casting after you don’t succeed in the last one, if no one gives you CONSTRUCTIVE criticism?

Anyway.  I’m just having fun being me.  And that’s all that matters right now.  I don’t need MVW.

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*~* Home, Let Me Come Home… *~*

— The Basics (the same for both gowns) —

Shape: MINE
Skin: Amberly II (Jamaica Tone; Makeup Option 02) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Promise Eyes (Apex) – IKON
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Body: Lara Mesh Body v2.1 – Maitreya
Nailcolor Applier: Dark Set (Red) – Nailed It
Eyeshadow: lilumi Eye Shadow (Ignition) – Lovely Disarray
Liptick: Glossy Pout Lipstick (Red; Deep Tone) – Pink Fuel
Earrings: Hoops Earrings Deluxe (Gold) – Soedara
Nosechain: Of The Plains (Gold) – Soedara

— Gown 1 [photo 2] —

Hair: Snowdrift (Redheads) – Tableau Vivant  (former C88 release)
Gown: Andalusia Gown – Dead Dollz
Collar: Junon Collar (Gold) – Skjern Designs

— Gown 2 [photos 1 & 3] —

Hair: Diavolo (Dark Reds) – Vanity Hair
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) – Slink
Gown: Tanguera Gown – Dead Dollz
Ribbon (feet): Ballet Lace – Alterego

Poses: various from Agapee

Location: My home

Blogging Tune: “Home” – Glee Cast

Don’t Get Me Wrong, Your Eyes Are So Intimidating…

I dont wanna steal Your Freedom
I don’t wanna change Your mind
I don’t have to make You love me
I just want to take Your time…

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Remember what I mentioned about trying out some new post formatting?  Well, get ready for one of the ideas I want to try.  *Giggles*  Are you ready for it?  Hmm?  Are ya?

I realized that, while I talk about dance all the time, I never really SHOW you.  And 90% of you likely wouldn’t feel comfortable going to one of the Gorean events that I dance at, even if it’s Out of Character and completely safe, you’d be totally out of your element.  Soooooo… I decided that I’m going to start recording some of my sequences and blogging them.  I won’t post the emotes… because, well, a lot of my dances are a bit personal.  And while I’m ok posting them in local chat during the time that they’re danced, I’m not terribly certain how fond I am of the idea of them being on the Interwebs in my blog to live in the Cloud somewhere forever.  Lol.

Maybe I’m weird for thinking about it that way.  I don’t know.

BUT, I’ll blog the fun parts… the movements and what I was wearing!  Maybe I’ll tell you a little bit about where I was dancing and why, or what the event/theme was.  But the focus of these dance posts will be the dance itself.

This first sequence I’m choosing to post is one I just recently performed, on January 17th.  The dance exhibition was held at the School of Gorean Dance and it was the “Master Ramius Challenge”, where he challenged the Instructors at the school to get out of the classroom and into the pit.  We were to choose our favourite dance that we’d performed, but I don’t actually have the music to my favourite dance… and it was an edited version that I’m not sure I could re-create without fully re-writing.

So instead, I asked Maia if I could perform a new dance.  She agreed.

And so I wrote one for Jacob.  It was nerve-wracking!  As it always is, performing in front of someone you give a damn about who’s never seen you dance before.  Especially when the dance was written FOR them.  Buuuuuuut… He liked it.  (*Quietly cheers with those who knew how much I was agonizing over this thing*)

Anyway.  I’ve rambled enough.  Here it is.  It was performed to Sam Hunt’s “Take Your Time”.  (For best viewing, click the little wheel settings thing at the bottom and make sure you’re viewing in 720 or 1080.  It was recorded in 1080.)

*~* Don’t Get Me Wrong, Your Eyes Are So Intimidating… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Amberly II (Jamaica Tone; Makeup Option 04) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Promise Eyes (Apex) – IKON
Hair: Driven To Tears (Dark Reds) – Vanity Hair
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Flat) – Slink
Body: Lara Mesh Body v2.1 – Maitreya
Nailcolor Applier: Dark Set (Red) – Nailed It
Scar: Scar Eye (Right; Light) – Soedara
Black Bra&Panties: Lara Lingerie – Maitreya
* These pieces were not a part of the dance, but they were added for modesty, for Youtube and this blog.
Camisk: Provocation (Red) – Haste  @ We ❤ RP
Nosechain: Of the Plains (Gold) – Soedara
Earrings: Hoop Earrings Deluxe (Gold) – Soedara
Collar: Luma’cam Iron Collar – A Master’s Eye  (past FGC release)

Pose: Adriana 2 – KaTink
* This pose was provided in a sponsor gift box for the Mr&Miss Model International Pose Off Challenge.  Thank you so much, Marit!

Pose (in dance): MC003 – agapee
Dance animations were from A&M MOCAP danceworks, 3fx, and Henmations.

Location (of video): My home
Location (of dance): School of Gorean Dance/Dance Gardens of Gor

Blogging Tune: “Take Your Time” – Sam Hunt

We Were Never Welcome Here…

It’s who we are
Doesn’t matter if we’ve gone too far
Doesn’t matter if it’s all ok
Doesn’t matter if it’s not our day…

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I dunno if you know what a Bushwhacker is… but that’s pretty intense.  You can’t really tell you’re getting drunk, until it actually happens.  Like… seriously.  Thing tastes like a milkshake.  And if my mother hadn’t explained to me that there are SEVERAL types of rum in it, I would’ve never known.  (Well, ok, aside from being carded to order it.)  It doesn’t help that I don’t really drink, so I’m a lightweight when it comes to alcohol of any kind.

But dang.  I was buzzed most of the afternoon.  That was… unpleasant.  I was supposed to be productive this evening.  So much for that.  Maybe it’ll be an early night so I can get up early tomorrow and get some work done.  Working on a couple new releases.

OH!  So I guess that’s something I can officially write about here now, since I’ve put out a release through them officially.  I’m designing for Zanze, specifically the Provocateur line, which is the more risque side of Zanze, though I intend to continue to keep it classy.  I dabble in gowns in my spare time as well, if the mood strikes me.  My first release was a kimono-style gown done in a pastel brocade that I put out on December 31st.  What a hell of a way for me to end 2014 and kickstart 2015.

Aaaaaand I got a super exciting notecard today.  Those of you that watched me stress and agonize for months about the Design N Dance last year, know that I may get to do that again this year!  Dancers normally don’t get to compete twice, but since this year will be the 5th anniversary year, there MAY be the opportunity for girls who didn’t place 1st, 2nd, or 3rd in their year to compete this year.  Since I was 4th last year, that includes me!  I’m totally excited to get more information about that in the coming few months.  I volunteered my time as a designer as well, if any of the girls who compete were having problems coming up with a designer who wants to participate.

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Which leads me to the next thing I wanna talk a bit about.

Sometimes in Gor, as a fundraiser for the sim, people do auctions.  “Date” auction kind of thing, for a certain amount of roleplay time.  That roleplay doesn’t go towards your ultimate storyline… so that no one’s character development gets messed up by an auction, and also so people can’t do something like win your auction to kill off your character.  BUT, some of us have chosen to do other things than just the typical “RP date” thing.

My auction offering is a bit different than the traditional.  I’m not opposed to a bit of rp with it too, but ultimately what I’m offering is…

— 1 custom outfit made for you and given to ONE friend of your choosing.  This outfit in this form will NEVER be sold, so you and the one friend will be the only owners of this version.  Now, depending on the outfit, it may be recolored and sold in other versions, but that would be discussed whenever the situation comes up.  No one else will be able to buy the custom version made for the auction winner and their friend.

At the moment, I am not far enough along with Maya and 3dsMax to make an original mesh outfit, but I can still make something pretty kick-ass with what’s at my disposal.

After the auction ends, I will sit down with the winner and discuss things… what sort of outfit they’re looking for, their favourite colors, patterns, etc etc.  I’m open to males or females at this point, Gorean and non-Gorean.  I’d just like to help the sim I call my home. 🙂

The auction ends February 1st at Noon SLT.  You can find my board on the platform HERE.  (It’s an out of character platform, so don’t worry about what attire you’re wearing or about the fact that it’s on a Gorean sim.  It’s up in the air very much away from any roleplay.  You’re perfectly safe.)  You’ll find my board on the bottom row labeled with my name “Tiviyah Resident” and one of my more recent, mostly black and white pictures.

Happy bidding!

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*~* We Were Never Welcome Here… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Artemis (Asia Tone; Makeup Option 04) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Deadshine Eyes (Frostbite; Natural Pupil Option) – IKON
Hair: Minerva (Reds) – Truth  @ Uber
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Flat) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: French Manicure (Pastels) – Nailed It
Teeth: Open Mouth Pro (with piercing expansion) – PXL
Blush: Lillith Fair (Freckle Blush Only) – Madrid Solo
Eyeshadow: lilumi Eye Shadow (Blurring) – Lovely Disarray
Shirt: Pashmina Top (Blossom) – On A Lark
Skirt: Pashmina Skirt (Blossom) – On A Lark
Headpiece: Isabella Headpiece (Sand/Gold) – Eudora 3D  @ Uber
Eye Piercings: Cihuapilli Face Jewels Sidh Humble (Gold; modified) – Soedara
Nose Ring: Cihuapilli Nose Piercing (Gold) – Soedara
Necklace: Zephyrine Necklace – Zibska  @ We ❤ RP
Bracers: Viking Bracers (Bronze) – The Forge
Hand/Feet Coins: Mecca Hand & Foot Coins – On A Lark

Poses: My Runway 6, 12, 25 – KaTink
* Poses were from a sponsored gift box for Mr&Miss Model International from the Pose Off Challenge.  Thank you, Marit!

Location: Salt Water

Blogging Tune: “Who We Are” – Imagine Dragons

But You Won’t See Me Fall Apart…

I’ve got a thick skin and an elastic heart
But Your blade, it might be too sharp
I’m like a rubber band, until You pull too hard
I may snap, and I move fast…

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So immediately after I got done with that last post, I wanted something that was a polar opposite styling.  (No pun intended, with the bear in the background.  Lol.)  I knew I had this headdress from The Secret Affair, and so, much like what I mentioned last time about creating an entire outfit around a single piece, I set to work.

Except this time it was strange, because I created the outfit around two pieces: the headdress, and then this gorgeous collar/chestpiece from The Forge at Uber.  I got the pleasure of talking to Deccan for just a few minutes recently, mostly about decent animators, cause Aeon was looking for one, but he seems awesome and pretty chill, which is honestly a welcome breath of fresh air lately.  Of course, Aeon being the blunt person that he is, I happened to mention I was slightly fangirling because Deccan is kinda on my ‘blogging bucket list’ and what does Aeon do… runs off and tells Deccan.

If either of you are watching this… here’s the post you were supposed to watch for Deccan… haha… and I’m still going to kill you, Aeon.

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In other news, as of 15 minutes ago, it’s my birthday.  And all I really want to do is stay inside and not face the public today.  Go figure.

I mean, ok, do I like being in public on ANY given day?  No.  But on my birthday specifically?  Meh, it’s another day to me, I guess.  I turn 25.  Not exactly some sort of ‘milestone’ year.  And it’s not really the same this year.  I used to always look forward to getting horrible clothing from my grandmother, and exchanging that, ‘find the receipt?’ look with my mother.  I always looked forward to Chinese food for lunch or dinner that day, because grandma, grandpa, and I all LOVE it, and my mother hates it… so it’s the one time a year when we could get her to go with us.  I also looked forward to red velvet cake.  Because it’s red velvet cake, and who wouldn’t.

This year?  We went to a regular restaurant the day before my birthday instead, not Chinese.  I just didn’t want to deal with it.  That had become grandma and mine’s thing.  Also, I don’t want a red velvet cake because my grandma isn’t making it.

So my big birthday plans?  I’m going to go get the oil changed in my car, run it through the carwash, fix the drain in the bathtub in the new house, get some cheesecake, and play some Hearthstone with Jacob.  Maybe I’ll watch a movie when he goes to bed.  I don’t know.  I just don’t have big plans, nor do I feel like I need them.

I’d be perfectly satisfied crawling in a hole and pretending today didn’t exist.

Does it ever hurt less?  Like, as time goes on, do you start to function normally on these days again?  Holidays, birthdays, etc.  Does it get even remotely better?

ElasticHeart3FINAL*~* But You Won’t See Me Fall Apart… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Artemis (Asia Tone; Makeup Option 04) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Deadshine Eyes (Frostbite; Natural Pupil Option) – IKON
Hair: Keiran Hair (Reds) – Tableau Vivant  @ We ❤ RP
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: French Manicure (Pastels) – Nailed It
Teeth: Open Mouth Pro (using piercing expansion) – PXL
Blush: Lillith Fair (Freckle Blush Only) – Madrid Solo
Eyeshadow: lilumi Eye Shadow (Mute) – Lovely Disarray
Gown: The Innocent (Ivory) ULTRARARE – Junbug  @ The Secret Affair
Headdress: Savage Winter Crown (Frost) – Aisling  @ The Secret Affair
Circlet: Delh Circlet (Silver/Strings) – Aisling  @ The Secret Affair
Collar/Chestpiece: Pearl Collar (White) – The Forge  @ Uber
Rings/Hand Jewelry: Opalis (Silver) – Formanails  @ Designer Circle
* Opalis comes in options for Avatar, Slink Casual, Slink Elegant, and Slink Elegant 1

Poses: Alexxa 6 [photo 1] & Opal 4 [photo 2]KaTink
Pose: Nails 4 [photo 3]PosESioN

Location: Misty Mountain Romance (Winter Sim)

Blogging Tune: “Elastic Heart” – Sia

I’ll Tell You My Sins And You Can Sharpen Your Knife…

Offer me that deathless death
Good god
Let me give you my life…

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I use ice-pick grip, yo.

Sorry… I’m sure no one else will understand that reference.  LOL.  But Jacob will get it.

A lot of times when I style, I find something that makes me say, “Ooo!  That!  I want to make an outfit around that!”  And 90% of the time, you can probably tell which item that is.  Lol.  This go-around, it was the Skirt from Vogue’s new release, “Valencia”.  The stop that comes with it is pretty awesome too, it was just a bit too ‘girly’ for this intense styling I knew I wanted to fashion together.

I said I’d been going around to a couple of the more recent events lately, and We ❤ RP, at first glance, didn’t have much that I wanted this go-around.  If I were in GE still, I’d have been all over it.  But since roleplaying in By the Book Gor, I’ve just been not as eccentric in my styling lately.  Of course, all it takes is that ONE piece to style me and throw me right back into that headspace.

That, and with the aid of MMI (Mr&Miss Model International) pushing me back outside the box of my ‘pretty’ stylist, I fell in love with what I put together, and re-fell in love with a few designers I hadn’t used in awhile.

Like Zibska.  And Plastik.

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Also, it is entirely Jacob’s fault, but I am so very in love with these eyes.  They’re one of Ikon’s newest releases, called Deadshine.  I got them in Frostbite… which pretty much just determines the color of the ‘whites’ of your eyes.  The eyes come with several pupil color options, including the iridescent (rainbow) option I had in my last post that I used with the Madrid Solo Makeup Challenge.

I find myself quite happy lately, and whether that’s the crazy British man that falls asleep in my ear every night or if it’s being able to just branch out and be more myself lately… or if it’s some combination of everything.  I dunno.  I smile a hell of a lot more than I used to.

Is this what getting rid of toxic people feels like?  And if so, why in the hell didn’t I do it sooner?  o.O

Mr&Miss Model International is going pretty well, I think.  I’m in it for the challenge, to be pushed and to grow… and for some of my crazy ideas for stuff to throw on a runway to actually be regarded as creativity and not as being a ‘bad model’.  Conforming to whatever system that is put in front of you, started by whatever person who thinks they’re a cool kid at this virtual nerd-table, doesn’t make you a ‘good model’.  Just like breaking those conventions doesn’t make you a bad one.

The more you lose of yourself, the more of a ‘bad’ model you become.  At least, that’s my personal opinion.

I’d prefer to stick to the things I do, not be a huge name, and retain my own individuality and my dignity, than to look at pictures and see a version of myself that I no longer like or recognize, physically or mentally/emotionally.

That doesn’t make me a ‘bad’ model.  That makes me, me.

Take it or leave it.  I’ll be over here.  Come say hello.  🙂

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*~* I’ll Tell You My Sins And You Can Sharpen Your Knife… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Amberly II (Jamaica Tone; Makeup Option 02) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Deadshine Eyes (Frostbite; Natural Pupil Option) – IKON
Hair: Keiran Hair (Reds) – Tableau Vivant  @ We ❤ RP
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Flat) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Dark Set (Black) – Nailed It
Facepaint: The Norm Face Paint (Life; Ash color; Option d) – Senzafine  @ We ❤ RP
Top: Iktharus Chestpiece (Geo) – Plastik  @ The Secret Affair
Sleeves: The Raven Sleeves (Black) – Peqe  (past Secret Affair release)
Skirt: Valencia Dress (just the skirt) – Vogue
Boots: Thylacine Boots – Lassitude & Ennui  @ We ❤ RP
Headpiece: Zephyrine Headpiece – Zibska  @ We ❤ RP
Forehead: Somilia Head Jewel (Dark Oxidized) – Pekka
Collar: Iktharus Collar (Geo) – Plastik  @ The Secret Affair
Necklace: Zephyrine Necklace – Zibska  @ We ❤ RP
Hand Bracelets: Aracelis Hand Bracelets (Silver) – FDD  @ Totally Top Shelf
Daggers: Roguish Delight Daggers – Lost Junction  @ We ❤ RP

Pose: Rip it up Set.2.4 – Morphine (Now Closed)

Location: Misty Mountain Romance

Blogging Tune: “Take Me To Church” – Hozier

There Isn’t One Thing Left You Could Say…

I’m breaking free from these memories
Gotta let it go, just let it go
I said goodbye
Set it all on fire
Gotta let it go, just let it go

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Well then.

It had occurred to be that it had been a long while since I’d posted, but I didn’t really think about HOW long until I received an email that I’d been removed from syndication on a feed because I hadn’t posted in 45 days.  Um. My bad.  The holidays were just super hard… if I wasn’t barely hanging on, myself, then I was pulling my mother through our first Christmas without both grandma and grandpa.  There were other things weighing heavily on my mind… not to mention I moved in RL right after the first of the year and have finally settled into the new place, mostly.

I love that the particular wording of the email was, “If you decide to post again…”  It made me laugh.  I ‘decided’ to stop posting about as much as I ‘decided’ to be sick.  But it’s ok.  I’m back… ish… again.

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A lot has happened since we last spoke, dearest reader.  (Yeah, ok, that was too weird.  Thought I’d try it, but addressing y’all as ‘reader’ is too formal.  Sorry.)

Peace On Earth 7 survived.  Could it have gone better?  Definitely.  And I personally wish it had.  But for what we had at our disposal, I’d say it went really well.  The generosity of the designers involved, the patience and excitement of the hunters… it was a pretty rewarding experience overall, personally, for me.  Seeing people happy is what made the whole thing, headaches included, worthwhile.

Regal turned out to be… not exactly what I thought.  So no teaching styling for Tivi.  But that’s ok.  I have fun blogging, anyway.  That’s all I’ll say on the subject.

Advanced Dance started… and GOD it feels good to be teaching.  I was actually really worried that I’d hate it.  Like… I love dancing, but half the reason I used to send people who wanted to learn from me to Rya instead is because I was scared out of my mind to teach.  I can’t exactly pinpoint WHY, but I just was.  With Rya leaving SL for the most part and focusing on her RL, I was kinda forced.  If I wanted Rya’s teachings to continue with the newest generation of dancers, then I was going to have to put my big girl panties on, suck it up, and try to teach it.  It’s gone… a lot better than I thought it would.  Maia and Master Nevar, and the whole of the School of Gorean Dance have been amazingly supportive.  I don’t think I could’ve done it without Maia’s initial push, and the encouragement of the students class after class that it was a ‘wonderful class’ and they have things to think about.  As long as they keep learning, I’ll keep teaching.

This styling was… interesting.  I’ve been poking around some of the fantasy events lately (admittedly seeing who has spots open that I might be able to convince Aeon to sign Virtual Forge up for… LOL) and with the Madrid Solo Makeup Challenge for MMI (Mr. & Miss Model International) being put together this week, I decided I wanted to style a head-to-toe look to blog that was based around the makeups I chose to use.  That’s sorta how this happened.

Also, I’m trying out a new layout on the blog (cause I broke the other one trying to fix it… don’t ask)… and I may be experimenting with new formats for my posts, so be on the lookout for that.  I dunno, I just feel like changing stuff up every now and again.  Change is good, right?

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*~* There Isn’t One Thing Left You Could Say… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Amberly II (Jamaica Tone; Makeup Option 02) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Deadshine Eyes (Frostbite; Iridescent Pupil Option) – IKON
Hair: Haute (Hot Mess) – Little Bones  @ The Secret Affair
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Flat) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: MVW Autumn Set (Lilac) – Nailed It
Blush: Lillith Fair (Freckle Blush Only) – Madrid Solo
Eyeshadow 1: Arabesque (Upper Only) – Madrid Solo
Eyeshadow 2 (Tears): Glam Tears (Upper Only) – Madrid Solo
Lipstick: Glam Tears (Lips Only) – Madrid Solo
Top: Luna Chain Top (Platinum) – Noodles
Pasties: Lotus Shield – Naraxas (not in-world yet)  @ Totally Top Shelf
Panties: Sepha Pastel Panty (White) – Cellar Door
Skirt: Head Accessory (Lavender) – LODE  @ The Secret Affair
Headpiece: Head Accessory (Lavender) – LODE  @ The Secret Affair

Poses: Haute 9 & 10 – KaTink

Location: Dance Gardens of Gor/School of Gorean Dance

* All Madrid Solo Makeups were sponsored gifts for the Madrid Solo Makeup Challenge for Mr. & Miss Model International.  Thank you so much, Madrid!  They were wonderful to work with.

Blogging Tune: “Let Me Go” – Avril Lavigne ft. Chad Kroeger