Confession .151. I’d Be All You Need, And You’d Get Drunk On Me…

Maybe if I was a neon light
I’d lead your car right back to my door
Oh, maybe if I was a jukebox needle dropping on a drinking song
You’d want one more
If my name was Whiskey
Maybe right now you’d miss me…

There comes a time where you’ve given so much to someone or something, that you have to see if it’s not being reciprocated.  You have to sit back and objectively look at what you’re giving and what you’re getting back from it and question whether the return is worth the effort put in.

And sometimes it will be unbalanced, and that’ll still be ok.  Other times, it will take sitting back and looking objectively at it to see just how much your efforts are being taken advantage of.

Confession .150. You Gave Up, I Grew Up…

Where would I, where would I be?
What would I do?
If You were, if You were there when I needed You?

I don’t think this particular post actually exists on social media anymore… I shared it last night on my Facebook page from Chris Crocker, but today I couldn’t find it on my page or his.  I went looking and found a cached version that still had it, where I was able to grab the content because I feel like it is COMPLETELY true in the age of social media, and also in Second Life.

He may have deleted it because of social anxiety issues or any other reason really… it’s his page, but I felt the need to post it here.  These words are not my own, but Chris Crocker’s.

Confession .149. Chasing Dreams Like I’m On Novacaine…

Stay, You’re not gonna leave me
This place is right where You need to be
And why Your words gotta mean so much to them
And they mean nothing to me
So stay, You’re not what you’re hearing
Cause I’ve been watching You changing
And who said You’re one in a million anyway?

Don’t judge me.  Girl-Tivi is less of the barefoot hippie I used to be… so boy-Tivi has to take over that role now.  Lol.

Also, not to spoil the content of the post too much, but consider this your trigger warning.  If death, near-death experiences, or cancer are triggers for you, then you may want to proceed into this post with caution.

Confession .148. We Swear We’re Alive, But We’re Falling To Pieces…

We fight like lions, we howl at the moon
We should be flying, instead we bury the truth
But I know inside, we’re beautiful creatures…

Before anyone starts reading and goes to make this comment… yes, I’m aware this is a deer onesie, not a goat.  *laughs*  However, the deer was the closest to a goat in this gacha set, so you gotta bear with me.  I did what I could with what was at my disposal.

Besides, it was only to be smartass-y about this particular topic anyway.  Lol.  Zodiac Signs!

Confession .147. To Not Know Who I Am But Still Know That I’m Good Long As You’re Here With Me…

I don’t know what it is, but I got that feeling
Waking up in this bed next to you, swear the room – yeah – it got no ceiling
If we lay, let the day just pass us by
I might get to too much talking
I might have to tell you something…

“I like me better when I’m with You.”

I’m the one that will sabotage my own relationships.  I’ll get stir-crazy and feel trapped, despite WANTING to serve and be in that subservient place in my relationships… so I’ll sabotage myself, find an excuse to leave, and go.  Peace out, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

But not here… not this time…

Confession .146. Half Of My Heart Is In Havana…

Ohh… I knew it when I met him
I loved him when I left him…

Camila Cabello is too fucking catchy.  Even if I find a lot of the music base-less and depth-less… I can’t help but listen to it on repeat.  And that’s exactly why you’re getting one of her newer singles in this blog post today. Lmao.

Sorry, not sorry, if it gets stuck in your head.

Confession .145. All Of Your Lovers Eventually Fade And Leave You Alone In The Bed You Made…

So if you’re gonna stay, then stay
But if you’re gonna go
Make sure that you hurt me just enough to
Make me feel something, something…

A small break from the creepy to come back to just the general Fall/Autumn mood.  This is the sorta stuff I miss in RL.  Not that I would ever be able to wear boots like this in RL without breaking my neck… but just the need for warmer materials, longer-sleeves.

Hoodie weather used to be my favorite time of year.

Confession .144. If Only The Clockwork Could Speak, I Wouldn’t Be So Alone…

Somebody shine a light
I’m frozen by the fear in me
Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me
So cut me from the line
Dizzy, spinning endlessly
Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me…

“If I break the glass, then I’ll have to fly.  There’s no one to catch me if I take a dive…”

I’m a sucker for a good marionette/puppet photo.  What can I say?  Besides, I still do my damnedest to keep most things on my Flickr ‘safe’, so I had to do some creative manipulating to show this awesome body chain out of Bound Box and still not get flagged.  Getting flagged isn’t on my to-do list today.

But anyway… this evening, I wanna chat about something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately: fitting inside other peoples’ boxes.

Confession .143. Burn My Lungs And Curse My Eyes…

I taste you on my lips and I can’t get rid of you
So I damn your kiss and the awful things you do
Yeah, you’re worse than nicotine…

I’d apologize for my embracing the full-on creep-factor of October, but I’m not gonna.  Lol.

Honestly, I don’t even really get that into Halloween in RL, and I usually don’t in SL either… but honestly, it’s these damned eyes, eyeshadows, and lipsticks from Izzie’s in this Powder Pack.  I can’t get enough.  It inspires me to embrace my inner creepy bitch and push the boundaries of what I’m used to styling and posting.

And I can’t say I’m mad at it, really.

Confession .142. Burn Our Troubles, Inhale Them All…

I can tell you what it feels like
To lose your home on a cold night
Can you see the blood in my red eyes?
Have another toke, we’ll forget life…

“We can bottle up our fear, brew a taste so sweet, knock us off our feet.”

The particular video of this song that I’m watching while I’m writing this has been out since July of 2016.  So my only question is…

WHERE THE HELL WAS I?!  I’m LOVING this song, and it’s been on repeat all night, hence it has managed to permeate this blog post.  Sorry, not sorry.