Held Between Heaven And Hell, As They’re Dancing…

(Featuring designs by Finesmith, EMO-tions, Izzie’s, Soedara, and many more…)

God and His priests and His kings
All were waiting
All will wait
As they go over

Held Between Heaven and Hell
As they’re dancing
As they dance
Over and Over

Held Between Heaven and Hell

You know I normally do more than one picture per post… trying to get close-ups, full body’s, etc… unfortunately this is the only picture for this post.  I’m still getting back into the swing of things and have a black-log of things I need to blog.  The past 2 months have been really hectic, both in RL and in SL, and so I apologize in retrospect (hindsight is always 20/20, right?) for being gone for so long.  Hopefully in the next few days I’ll be bringing you The Garage Designer Fair in review, as I missed most of its running.  That pesky thing called RL work… and sickness… and then the Owner of A&M STILL being on vacation to an unknown date… RL and SL have both kicked my ass.

But I’m back!  Muahaha!

Unfortunately, I’m not too thrilled with this shot that I did Monday night for the Finesmith Muse, June casting, but my dislike has nothing to do with any of the items… simply in my ability to edit this shot the way I wanted to.

In order to get this look, I picked apart an old look of mine… you’ll find it in a past post of mine… in order to find something to compliment the gorgeous jewelry I picked up from Finesmith.  Photo editing aside, I hope that Yula finds my photo and blog post to do this particular set justice.  🙂

For those that may not know, I’ve had this obsession with Africa and African culture, particularly Zimbabwe and the surrounding regions.  I actually came across my idea for the Finesmith Muse casting as it is the same sort of idea that I’m using for a dance I’m competing with on the 1st.  The dance and the styling are based around this proverb:

“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up.  It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion, or it will be killed.  Every morning, a lion wakes up.  It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle, or it will starve to death.  It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle.  When the sun comes up, you better start running.”  — African Proverb

I went on to say, in the notecard, where Yula asked us to write her a short story, anything we wished:

“This… that proverb.  That is who I am.  In some situations, I am the lion.  In others, I am the gazelle.  Sometimes, it’s eat or be eaten.  But most of the time, we’re all just fighting to survive.  Most of us don’t truly mean animosity towards each other… it’s just a means of survival and a misinterpretation of what it means to be ‘fierce’.  Me?  I’m fierce.  I am not cut-throat, I am not petty, I do not sabotage other models, I do not take joy in seeing other models fail.  I am just fierce in my pursuit of what I want, and I will not be satisfied in my attempts at achieving it unless I can look back on all my work and say, ‘I did the absolute best that I could do.  There is nothing more I could have done.  Others were simply more suited than I, and that is ok.'”

And honestly, regardless of what some out there may think of me because of what they’ve heard… or what they’ve read… or what someone who knows someone who knows someone who may have read something I wrote that one time when they were high and bored off their asses… I really am the way I claim to be.

I am not cut-throat.  I used to be… oh lord, did I used to be!  When I first began dancing competitively, I was one of the most cut-throat people I’d ever met.  I never sabotaged anyone… and in fact I was the victim of sabotage not once, but twice… but I was still an extremely cut-throat person.  If I did not do as well in a competition as I believed I should have, I was after those judges.  I wanted to know WHY.  Sure, my intentions were good… I wanted to improve for the next time… but my vehement pursuit of the answer to the question “Why?” or “Why not?” as the case my be, became a rather unhealthy obsession to tailor my dancing to whatever those judges wanted it to be.  After awhile, my dances weren’t “me” anymore, and I quit dancing for about 6 or 7 months.  I will just now be stepping back into the competition scene on June 1st.  The last time I competed was back at the end of October.  But I am a much different person now than I was then, and my dances reflect that, I believe.

I am not petty.  In fact, I’m probably the opposite of petty.  I call out people who are being petty.  Lol.  Example, a few people decided it would be a good idea to accuse a friend of mine of ‘stealing’ a dance from another dancer, in an attempt to get her disqualified from the competition she danced in and, ultimately, tarnish her reputation in the dance community.  That’s pretty low and petty, wouldn’t you say?  I admit I participated in the situation, in that I stood up (and stood up HARD, mind you) for my friend and defended her… but that’s only because I won’t stand to watch people try and muddy the reputation of a good girl who just loves to dance.  You can compete for the prizes all you want to and that’s just fine and dandy, but don’t try to ruin the others who do it because they love it.

I do not sabotage other models.  I know people that will pull the whole “Well I don’t have time to help you,” card… or ones that will not give you a second opinion if they’re going to the same casting.  They don’t want to “help” the competition.  Fortunately for me, I graduated from Amici, where we are taught to be a family and help those who need it.  I know I always have an Amici family to give me an honest opinion, regardless if any of us are casting in the same thing or not.  Those other models are not your ‘competition’.  They are you family.  Embrace them while you have them, because the more you push them away, the less you have when it counts.

I do not take joy in watching other models fail.  I am happy when I succeed in something that I wanted.  But at the same time, I tend to feel bad about being happy when I realize that other people who wanted the same thing, did not get it.  For example, a couple of weeks ago, I did the open casting for the FMU modeling agency, as did a friend of mine.  We both worked hard, we both rocked it, we both did our best.  I made it in, my friend did not.  I was happy about making it in, however, I felt bad about being happy because my friend was discouraged.  However, she went to the second casting they held this past weekend… but she did not make it again.  So, again, I feel bad about being happy, because I cannot share that joy with one of my closest friends.  Maybe that makes me overly-sensitive… but it’s just the way I am.

*~* Held Between Heaven And Hell, As They’re Dancing *~*

Shape: MINE!
Skin: Holly Skin Fair – Izzie’s
Eyes: Lovers eye (Raven) – the Skinnery (MESH)
Eye Makeup: Insanity Plea (Gold) – Madrid Solo
Eyelashes: My Perfect Lashes – DAMNED Bodyshop
Lipstick: Insanity Plea (Gold) – Madrid Solo
Body Paint: War Paint (tintable) – YaYo
Hair: *insert name of hair here* – EMO-tions
Headpiece/Necklace: Kirin’s Poem (black) – Finesmith
Tassels: Nubian Divinity – Soedara

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, Right?

I promise I’ll be back and blogging soon… SL has gotten hectic… most specifically with the Owner of the store I manage being on hiatus…

I’ve been told twice by this Owner, “I’m coming back tomorrow,” and then they’ve not signed online again for days… weeks even… This time, I was told 4 days ago, “I’m back for real this time…” and nothing after that.

So I do apologize, dear Blogosphere, for the few of you who may read me, that I’ve not been blogging.  I’ve got some awesome designs and some awesome stylings to show you… like things from my GRAUDATION FROM AMICI!  *Gigglefits*

Again, I will be back soon, I promise.

Until then, please enjoy this video of a song that’s really been stuck on my playlist lately, strange as it is.  ❤

“Without You My Life Would Be Boring” – The Knife