Confession .11. My Body Is Trying To Kill Me

The fire used to burn, and the words used to hurt
But you’re not like us, you are different
I couldn’t see that that was a compliment

My body is trying to kill me.  However, if you remotely pay attention to my Facebook, then you likely know the mess that’s been going on.  My apologies for not being around much.  I’m slowly sorting through my objects folder with stuff from sponsors, Fantasy Faire, and other craziness.  There’s so much.  I’m so sorry that I’m such a disorganized mess lately.

Let’s recount how my life has gone since the last time I blogged… on the 8th…

Confession .10. I Give Up Too Easily

Louder than Sirens, Louder than Bells
Sweeter than Heaven & Hotter than Hell

Following suit with the last few confessions… this one is no less real: I Give Up  Too Easily.

And it doesn’t really matter what it is, really.  There are very few things that I’ve stuck with vehemently… and that’s not without countless moments in which I sat here wondering to myself WHY I was trying so hard.  Modeling is one of those things.  I’ve been around and doing this for over 3 years now… however, lately moreso than ever, I’ve found myself wondering just why I try so damn hard.  Like, what is it that I think is going to change?

Confession .09. I Try Really Hard Not To Care

I don’t care if I sing off-key…
I find myself in my melodies
I sing for love, I sing for me
I shout it out, like a bird set free…

“There’s a scream inside that we all try to hide.  And we hold on so tight, but we cannot deny it eats us alive.”

The tune for this blog today is another one of those that I would thoroughly recommend listening to all the way through… several times.  It’s been on repeat since one of the Top 4 for Idol sang it.  -laughs-  The ironic part, and perhaps the most moving part, of this particular performance is that he started off pretty pitchy.  But by the end, he was moved to tears by his own heart and soul put into the song, and I was as well.  But the original is pretty damn good too, then again… I’m pretty partial to anything Sia.

Confession .08. I’m Really Easily Distracted

Strictly out of curiosity…
What would happen if You got with me?
Kissin’ You would hit the spot with me.
Come on, skip a couple rocks with me…

The process of creating this blog, start to finish, has literally taken me all day today.  Because I keep getting distracted.  I ran a few errands in RL, I poked around on my alt for awhile (shush – you all have one!), I’ve been snapchatting an old friend… I’m just super easily distracted.