I’m a Wildflower Growing in the Sunshine…

I’m a wildflower growing in the sunshine
Soaking up the way of life
I was raised in…

MissTheMisery1FINAL

I’ve had these pictures done for, literally, 3 days.

Over the last 48 hours, I’ve been locked out of my blog, because it appears, to both myself and Tech Support that I was on the phone with last night, that someone hacked one of the plugins that was making my blog function and corrupted it.  I couldn’t see my blog page, I couldn’t get into my admin panel… even though other people could see it just fine.

Now, because of ‘security’ reasons, when the source of the hack was found, they couldn’t give me the exact IP address, but they DID give me a general location of where it was pinging from.  And that rouses my suspicion of who was behind it moreso than I’d initially thought.

But either way, after 48 hours of FREAKING out – cause this is over 2 years of hard work for me that could’ve just been gone – I’ve finally got control of my page back, the plugins are fixed and I think I can get back to business as usual.

Well, aside from being sick.  But the antibiotics are helping that.  *Laughs*

Trust me, the fact that I’m making this post… that has a bit of a playful feel to the images (and the inspiration behind why I made them… *smirks*) is a good thing.  I’m smiling more lately, and I can genuinely laugh at stuff that I find funny without distorting everything to remind me of something negative.

I guess that’s the good part of being bipolar?  Lol.  My moods swing so often anyway, I can just swing away from the pain?  I’m sure I’ll swing back into it eventually, but for now, I’m enjoying the break.

I hadn’t blogged anything really ‘lingerie’ ish in a long time, and I hadn’t had a nice trip to Blacklace in awhile either… AND I’d bought this new prop from oOo Studios that I just loved… so all of that together just SCREAMED lingerie blog post.  And so here you have it.

I’m still poking around for another good tutorial or two to follow to start doing some new things with my tablet, while working on my collection for Penumbra Spring/Summer Fashion Week coming up in May, working on a couple dances for the next couple weeks, and going back to fighting in GE a bit again.  (Yes, this means more entertaining Gor stories from the Dramaticus Goreanus… sorry… that was supposed to be a pun that was horribly executed…)

It feels good to hit things with sticks again.  *Grins*

MissTheMisery2FINAL

*~* I’m A Wildflower Growing In the Sunshine… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Amberly (Lovely Day; Asia Tone; Makeup Option 1) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) – IKON
Hair: Things (Hud 01) – Magika
** Please note, I DID draw on this hair in Photoshop.  TRY THE DEMO.
Body: Lara Mesh Body (current version: 3.3) – Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant 1) – Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Monochromatic Set – Nailed It  @ On9 (6 days left)
* Used with ALU Ankle Lock, to adjust ankles in pose.
Lipstick: Melancholy (Red Lip) – Madrid Solo
Lingerie: Briony (Azure Blue) – Blacklace
* Omega Appliers used with Maitreya Relay found HERE.
Heels: Aretha Heels (Basics Pack) – PurpleMoon  @ Fashion For Change (3 days left)
Piercings: Against the Steam – the Hebenon Vial
Collar: Double Chain Collar (Onyx; Chainmail Version) – Keystone  @ We ❤ RP

Prop/Poses: Follies – oOo Studio

Location: Home

Blogging Tune: “Wildflower” – The JaneDear Girls

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Tivi Follows Tutorials #001 – Drawing Hair

** Thanks kindly to Astralia Miliandrovic (Astralia Resident) for making the original tutorial used in this post.  Video is embedded at the end in the credits.  ❤

TiviFollowsTutorials1BEFORE

I did promise when I came back from a hiatus after my grandmother passed away that I would be doing some new things with this blog.  We all know that I dabble in a little bit of everything in SL, and so I’d like to showcase that more here.  After all, rarely am I naked when I’m doing anything in SL… sooooo who’s to say I can’t show you guys a little more of what I do, and blog the wonderful fashions that allow me to do it in style?  *Grins*

I used to LOVE editing my pictures.  I got a graphics tablet a few years ago and just loved trying to figure out what I could do with a particular picture… how I could make it fit the mood I was in when I styled the outfit… how I could manipulate whatever client-work I was working on.  However, when I relocated from Indiana to Alabama, I found my tablet, but unfortunately that was all I found.  Lol.  The cable and the stylus were nowhere to be found.  And thus I lived in a tablet-less existance for the better part of 2 years.

Also… when working with a … special *coughs*… copy of Photoshop, things eventually started to glitch out.  None of my custom filters were there one day, just disappeared at random.  None of my brushes were there… and I could find them in my computer, but it’s like Photoshop stopped reading its own files and stopped recognizing that brushes and filters were there.  So I had to rely more heavily on Dodge and Burn, and windlight in SL, to get any even remotely decent pictures that I produced over the last 2 years, over the last 6 months more specifically.

But that all changed on Friday.  It was my first paycheck from my RL job, and with the shitty week I’d had, I decided I was going to do something FOR ME.  All week, and for a long time, I’ve been doing anything and everything that I do… for other people.  Granted, some of it makes me happy… like designing makes me happy, but I was ultimately doing it (lately) to help out a friend when she fell ill.  I took over some event releases for her and did as much as I could do to help out.  Designing brings me joy, so I was happy to do it.  But I was still doing it for someone else.

Anyway, I live an hour from work.  We’ve established that.  And the messed up part of this first paycheck was it had to be picked up at the Podium (central location in the call center that anyone on any project can get to, in the front of the production floor room).  However, the hours that you could pick up your check were between 9am and 1pm… and I don’t start work until 3pm.  My first solution was easy… I’ll just do busywork for my trainer, right?  Photocopy papers, clean the wipe board that hasn’t been cleaned since we started, straighten up desks.  It was only 2 hours.  Buuuuut then my trainer informed me that she wouldn’t be in early that day. “Not on a Friday.  You kidding?” were here exact words.  Lol.  So instead, I got my check, conveniently loaded on a “paycard” ( a debit card specifically for my wages ) and drove the 15 minutes between work and the Best Buy, to replace my cable and stylus for my tablet.

Now, I don’t have a pro tablet… whatever the cheapest Wacom Intuous is.  Just the Pen tablet, not the multi-touch.  But still… being able to do a little bit of drawing, and having freedom with that… makes me happy.  I got it all plugged back in and redownloaded drivers yesterday and then sat here like, “Well hell… what do I do first?”

That was when I decided I wanted to do something else “new” with this blog.  And actually take you all through the process of following a tutorial.  What goes on in my head, how the process was, etc etc.  And thus, this post was born.

I hate Second Life hair sometimes and how it photographs.  Especially if you’re green screening, sometimes I just give up and erase the cute little fly-aways.  So eventually I’d like to be able to draw those back in.  So the first thing I did was look for a hair drawing tutorial.  I used to draw hair when I first got my tablet, however it’s been 2 years, so a tutorial seemed like the best thing.  I found Astralia’s, and since I LOVE her Photography, I figured she would be a good one to start with.

The first thing that surprised me, was that it was only about 6 1/2 minutes long.  I remember the first tutorial I followed was in like 5 parts of at least 10 minutes each.  Then when I started the video, I saw that she started with a base hair already on, as opposed to bald.  Got it!  I popped on some hair and shot the Before shot, pictured at the beginning of this post, and was ready to get started.

She links the brushes we both used in her blog, so if you’re going to follow the tutorial, you may want to go and grab them.  Or use your favorite hair brushes.  This tutorial doesn’t seem specific to one set of brushes.  And I fully intend to experiment with other hair brushes.

For me, my pictures are smaller in resolution than hers, so when she uses, say, the size 27 hair brush to get those nice little smooth hair-like lines… they still look big and clunky to me.  And in my after photo you can still see areas where I didn’t quite perfect my brush size/stroke.  But I feel like that will come with time and practice.

What I love about Astralia’s tutorials is that she explains enough that you aren’t overwhelmed with, “Wait!  Omg!  How did you get there!”  But she doesn’t harp on every tiny detail for an hour, to where it’s going to take you 6 days to get through her tutorial.  She has a perfect mixture of “these are skills you should already know” and “here is what I’m going to show you”.  I love it.  I don’t feel stupid watching her tutorials, and I feel like I’ve accomplished something when I’m done.

Now, I totally cheated and cropped my After image a bit differently than the before… because, let’s face it, I hated how the bottom part of my hair came out.  And on the bottom right you can still see a little that could be fixed if I’d spent more time on it, erasing and re-drawing.  But I’d say for a first attempt after 2 years, I’m pretty happy with the result.

If there are tutorials you’d like me to follow, or suggestions you have on how I might better go about showing you how I follow these tutorials, please feel free to comment on this post, or IM/notecard me in-world at Tiviyah Resident.  ❤

TiviFollowsTutorials1AFTER

*~* Tivi Follows Tutorials #001 – Drawing Hair *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Amberly (Lovely Day; Asia Tone; Makeup Option 01) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) – IKON
Base Hair: Fynnea (Gingers; no headband) – Truth Hair
** Please note, I DID draw on this hair in Photoshop.  See Before photo for more accurate depiction.
Lipstick: Melancholy (Red Lip) – Madrid Solo
Shirt: Notre Outfit – Ducknipple
Piercings: Against the Stream (Ink) – the Hebenon Vial
Collar: Double Chain Collar (Onyx; Chainmail Version) – Keystone  @ We ❤ RP

Pose: Headshot 4 – Glitterati Poses (Closed)

Location: Home

Tutorial Followed: “How to draw hair (secondlife)” – Astralia Miliandrovic (Astralia Resident)

I Was Counting On Forever, Now I’ll Never Know…

It’s like I’m looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody’s saying He’s not coming home now
This can’t be happening to me
This is just a dream…

WhatAScene2FINAL

I’ve started grinding my teeth at night.  I don’t know specifically when I started, but it was sometime this week.  I wake up in the morning and my teeth hurt like a bitch.  I mean, moreso than they usually do.  I don’t do anything about it, because I have to drive to work, and that’s an hour drive.  But once I get there, it takes half a Vicodin to be able to focus through the pain enough to do what I need to do.

And of course, I’m allergic to Vicodin… so I get insanely dizzy, have lapses where I momentarily forget both who and where I am, and start to briefly run a low-grade fever.  Why do I purposely take something I’m allergic to that affects me that greatly?  Because it’s what stops the pain enough to focus at work.  And the trade-off just seems worth it, somehow.  I’m miserable either way.  But at least I can focus through the dizziness and the fever.  I can’t focus through the pain.

I guess this is why part of me still holds out hope for Him.  I find any excuse to say anything to Him, even if I’m angry and it’s some stupid cutting comment I shouldn’t say.  At least it’s something.  And it might hurt like hell to talk to Him… to know that everything He ever told me was a lie… and that He never meant any of it… told me what I wanted to hear to get me where He wanted me… for some reason, I can handle the tears, because it lets me focus on the work I need to do.

Because otherwise, I’m really afraid the pain of it all would become unbearable if I didn’t.

Friends of mine who have asked why I stuck around even after I said I wouldn’t… or, rather, why I tried to stick around, because He sabotaged that too… I described it the same way to anyone who asked:  It’s like super-gluing a plastic salt and pepper shaker together and then just trying to yank them apart.  You’re going to shatter the plastic and ruin them both.  And at the time, He was begging me to stay.  So I felt like not only would I ruin myself if I just left, but I’d destroy Him too… and He didn’t deserve that. Not when she’d already caused Him so much hurt before.  Even if He did it to Himself, I didn’t think He deserved more.

But if You super-glue those same salt and pepper shakers together, and then chip away at the glue with a knife, when they separate the bond is weakened, and you have a better chance of perhaps not completely destroying one or both of them.  And that was what happened.  When He collared me, there was that super-gluing of those salt and pepper shakers together.  And everything He did during the last week when I tried to stay… just chipped and chipped at that glue.  So that when I finally walked away when He broke His word all over again… the break was cleaner.

Don’t get me wrong, it still hurts like hell.  And there are still pieces of me missing that I’m not sure I’ll ever get back again… He’ll likely keep those forever, whether He wants to, tries to, or not.  But the break itself was cleaner.  He chipped away at the glue with a knife, making the separation easier, at least for Him.  By the time I left He was so pissed at me… all for refusing to do anything but tell Him the truth.

So the break was easier for Him.  Which I guess is what I wanted all along.  I’ve always been the one to put others’ happiness over my own, so even if it made me miserable, as long as it was easier on Him, then that was what I wanted.

It’s just a shame that that knife ended up in my back.

WhatAScene1FINAL

*~* I Was Counting On Forever, Now I’ll Never Know… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Amberly (Lovely Day; Asia Tone; Makeup Option 1) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) – IKON
Hair: Willa (Gingers; Style 1) – Truth Hair
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Flat) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: French Manicure Brights (Orange) – Nailed It
Eye Shadow: Ere Makeup (Orange) – Nuuna
Lipstick: Essential Lipstick (Red Color; Dark Tint; Satin Style) – Pink Fuel
Top/Skirt: Plumeria – Lyrical B!zarre  (Ferosh Fashion Weekend Release)
Piercing: Diamond Monroe Piercing – envi

Poses: Various from PosESioN

Location: Home

Blogging Tune: “Just A Dream” – Carrie Underwood

What Comes Next Is Another Long Goodbye…

You caught me on the way down
Please hold my hand before I drown
Tie my hands before I burn this town…

Down2FINAL

This is going to come across as incredibly bi-polar to the happiness that I spoke about in my last post.  For this, I apologize.  Let it just serve as a reminder that everything can always change in the drop of a hat.  People can always fail you.  And 90% of the time, they probably will.

He promised me that I was home.

Maybe I’m mistaken, but home implies a sense of safety and security.  A sense of “This is your place.  You are cared for here.  You are loved.”  I cannot say with any kind of certainty if after today, this environment would still provide that same feeling.  As a matter of fact, her track record proves that it would not stay that way.  Her track record proves that she has a way of making Him give up every one and everything that is not her and what she wants.  Her track record includes Him ending His REAL LIFE relationship because of a tantrum that she threw about how she couldn’t stay if He stayed with His RL.  This is her track record.  And yet, He has now taken her back.

He promised me that I was His.

Maybe I’m mistaken, but in order for me to be His slave, He has to be my Master.  And maybe I’m mistaken, but in my world, a Master is an Honorable Man.  A Master is honest and trustworthy.  He runs His House with dignity and integrity and is an Example that other Men aspire to follow.  Maybe I’m mistaken, but in my world a Master would not make a promise if He did not fully intend to keep it.  If He could not keep it, He would say so.  If He needed time to think before making the commitment that a Promise brings, He would say so.  This is what a Master is.  This is what I thought my Master was.  And yet, He has broken His promise to me.  He has taken her back.

He promised me that He was done.

Maybe I’m mistaken, but done implies finished.  Being ‘done’ implies that He saw the things that EVERYONE had been showing Him for MONTHS that she had been doing.  Being ‘done’ implies that He separates Himself from that because He sees how much it hurt everyone involved.  Being ‘done’ implies that He looked at the proof that she was SPYING ON EVERYONE ON THE SIM just to make sure that He was not spending time with His RL after she made Him dump her.  Being ‘done’ implies being beyond it. Moving forward.  Pushing past it, picking ourselves up and trying to piece our lives back together from the destruction she left in her wake.  And yet, He has taken her back.

He promised me.

Maybe I’m mistaken, but promises aren’t made lightly.  They are not made to be broken.  They are not bandaids that are put in place to fix problems, only to repeat the same mistakes and make more promises.  Maybe I’m mistaken, but in my world… where I’m so used to people, especially Men, breaking promises to me… in my world, for me to trust You enough to believe Your promise?  That is sacred.  Promises are sacred.  And they are made only after careful consideration that one has the ability to live up to that promise.  And yet He has broken His promises to me.  He has taken her back.

He promised.

Down3FINAL

I’m so used to people failing me.  But He promised this was different.  And for some reason, I believed Him.  For some reason, even though every past experience I’ve ever had was screaming at me in a resounding “NO!  DON’T DO IT!” I still believed Him.  I believed that He could care enough about me to make that promise and truly want to keep it.  I believed that He felt all the things that He said He did.

I believed Him when He told me He wanted to Own me… even when He already Owned her and I knew it would never work.  I knew her track record.  I knew what she did and how she was.  I knew all these things.

And deep down, I think I even knew that He would take her back.

But the ironic part of all of this?  Last night He sat with me, He held me in His arms against His chest while I straddled His lap on the couch in our home – and I have to scoff and the tears start all over again at the words ‘our home’ – He held me against Him and He assured me that I was His.  That I was home.  I danced before Him yesterday and told Him how much joy I found in His steel.  In the little family that had been created between Himself, me, and His RL.  I reached into the depths of my soul and told Him how I finally felt I’d found the ‘me’ that I’d lost so long ago.

I found the slave I’d always wanted to be.

And He held me in His arms and told me I was His.

He told me just last night that I am an amazing person.  And that He is so glad that I am His.  I know He said it and it wasn’t just my imagination like I’d originally thought, because I can scroll back in our conversation – and find myself doing it now just to burst into tears all over again – I can scroll back and find it now.  I can re-read those words and remember how happy they made me feel.  I was happy.  I was loved.  I was His.  And I was Home.

But home doesn’t include someone like her.  Family doesn’t include someone like her.  I can’t be His while she is there because, let’s face it, she won’t allow it and we all know His track record when it comes to her throwing a fit.  Just like a child, she will ultimately get what she screams for.  And where does that leave me?

In tears staring at the broken collar and dwelling on all the broken promises while those people who actually do care about me try their best to keep the knife out of my hand.  That’s where it leaves me.

He promised me that I was home.  He promised me that I was His.  He promised me that He was done.  He promised me.

He promised.

And He lied.

Down1FINAL

*~* What Comes Next Is Another Long Goodbye… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Amberly (Lovely Day; Asia Tone; Makeup Option 1) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) – IKON
Hair: Inna (Light Reds) – enVOGUE
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: French Manicure Dark Set – Nailed It
Eye Liner: London Liner (Aqua) – Madrid Solo
Lipstick: London Liner (Silver Lips) – Madrid Solo
Dress/Hair & Wrist Flowers: Sophie – Azul  @ Fashion For Change
Heels: Aretha Heels (Brights Pack) – PurpleMoon  @ Fashion For Change
Piercing: Diamond Monroe Piercing – envi
Earrings/Necklace/Ring: Eva Luxury Set – Lazuri

Poses: various from PosESioN

Location: Misty Mountain Romance

Blogging Tune: “Down” – Anberlin

We’re All Wasted…

And he’s 18 and couldn’t wait to move out
His parents wonder what all the rush is about
They never bothered with his dreams, only thinking of theirs
Wonders why he doesn’t call and why he doesn’t care…

Wasted2FINAL

So… I had an entirely different post here.  But it occurs to me (after consulting with someone who seems to be my mental filter lately) that it would likely make the situation we’re going through about ten times worse.  Soooo that post got deleted, and here’s something more happy!

Sometimes, life seems like nothing but one shit-storm after another.  And I’m the first person to attest to that.  I am living, breathing, sometimes drinking proof that sometimes the storm just doesn’t end.  The last year and a half or so?  I’d be thoroughly appreciative if none of it had ever happened (besides finally relocating to Orange Beach and starting my new job this week) and if things would’ve played out much differently.

I’d thoroughly appreciate still having both of my grandparents.  I’d even appreciate still having my father.  Having that time that we never got to fix things neither of us cared enough about to work on.

But sometimes, life just doesn’t deal you the hand you think you deserve.

And you know… I’m a believer in karma.  So perhaps some of the shit I’ve done that I’m not proud of finally caught up to me over the last year and a half and karma just decided to dump her Hurricane on me all at once.  I’ll never know.

Wait, I promised this would be happier… Um.

The good news?  If it was indeed karma ganging up on me, then things should start to look up from here.  They’ve already begun.  I have a Family… an amazing Master and Huntress who care for me and have never given up on me for as long as I’ve known them, each in their own individual way, and even moreso now that I belong to Them.  I have an RL job that I love… for the most part… even if I’m only 4 days into training.  And I even made a fantastic first impression on the center Ops Director, pretty much securing myself a Supervisor position after my required 6 months on the floor, if I want it and if my metrics measure up to the potential I’m showing in training.

The moral of this post?  There are always good things that come from the bad.  You just might have a LOT of the bad first.  But I thoroughly believe the universe balances itself out eventually.  So sometime in the future, I should continue to have a LOT of good.  🙂

Wasted1FINAL

*~* We’re All Wasted… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Amberly (Lovely Day; Asia Tone; Makeup Option 1) – Glam Affair  @ C88
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) – IKON
Hair: Armelle (Gingers; version with hat) – Truth Hair  @ Uber
Body: Lara Mesh Body (v3.0) – Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Monochrome Set (Monochrome Black) – Nailed It  @ On9
Eye Shadow: Seductress (Silver Eye) – Madrid Solo
Lipstick: Melancholy Lip (Silver) – Madrid Solo
Top & Pants: Meringue Aqua & Black – Sascha’s Designs  @ Fashion For Change
Heels: Aretha Heels (Pastels) – PurpleMoon  @ Fashion For Change
Necklace: Ekstrax Necklace (Silver; Short) – LUXE  @ Uber

Poses: Pose147 & Pose200 – slouch Poses

Location: Home

Blogging Tune: “Wasted” – Cartel

It Ain’t A Pretty Picture Tonight…

I wish words weren’t like little toy guns
No sting, no hurting no one
Just a bang bang rolling off your tongue
I wish words weren’t like little toy guns…

LittleToyGuns1FINAL

The argument that happens at the beginning of the video I attached to this post… could be a trigger for some of you who have parental issues in your pasts.  It was/is a trigger for me.  So, just a fair warning.

Listening to this song, this is another one of those days/nights when I feel incredibly fortunate to live where I do, in the country I do, that – despite objections from the zealous otherwise – has the well-being of all its citizens in mind, regardless of gender.

There are so many countries, so many cultures, that seem to believe that Men are the only ones worth anything – the only ones who will amount to anything.  Women are things to be had, to parade around when you happened upon a pretty one, to share with your friends.  Hell, some in some cultures are treated like trading cards.  Like your buddy’s wife and bored with yours?  No problem!  You two can just trade. She gets no say.

And yet with all the bullshit that I’ve gone through in my past, be it my childhood or my, albeit short, adulthood, I can very rarely say that the law/policy/authority figures were not on my side.  They didn’t ignore me just because I was a woman.

And even when it wasn’t a police/authority matter, I had the freedom to take things into my own hands.  The night I left home because I woke up to being punched… repeatedly… over eating a Reese Cup in the refrigerator?  I was freely ABLE to leave.  I was not owned by/legally obligated to stay with the male head of my household.  I could just go.  And go, I did.

I feel fortunate, that even in all the bad shit, there’s some good shit.  There is the ability to have good shit happen.

LittleToyGuns3FINAL

If we allow organizations like Womankind Worldwide to do their work in promoting rights for women in developing countries, and reducing violence against them… then maybe, just maybe, we can provide the same sort of hope for women in those countries that we have here, wherever ‘here’ is for you.

I absolutely ADORE this gown that Lybra is releasing for the Fashion For Change fundraising event organized by Eleseren Brianna, current reigning Miss Virtual World.  Something about all the intertwining black and white, separate, but all making up the same gorgeous design makes me think about gender equality within society as a whole.  Men and Women are different, yes.  But they are both necessary, to create a productive society.  If I said, “Meh, black isn’t a good enough color for this dress.  Let’s take it out.”  It would just be a boring white dress, with a bit of red.  Same if I said to remove the white.  Both colors are necessary for the gorgeous creation that Lybra has made.

And both Men and Women are just as important and integral for making a society function and flourish the way it should.  I, for one, hope that Womankind Worldwide can aid those countries that don’t see this importance… to see it.

To see it they way I do, the way a lot of us do, before it’s too late.

LittleToyGuns2FINAL

*~* It Ain’t A Pretty Picture Tonight… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Amberly (Lovely Day; Asia Tone; Makeup Option 1) – Glam Affair  @ C88
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) – IKON
Hair: Ainsley (Gingers) – Truth Hair
Body: Lara Mesh Body (v3.0) – Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Diva Set – Nailed It  @ On9
Lipstick: Essential Lipstick Red (Matte; Bright) – Pink Fuel
Gown: Nyala (Striped) – Lybra  @ Fashion For Change
Earrings & Necklace: Pearl Rain Season 3 Choker Set (Black) – Mandala
Silver Choker: Celtic Collar (Type E) – The Forge
Bracelet: Pearl Rain Season 3 Bracelet Set (Black) – Mandala
Ring: Royal Khadijah Estate Ring – Maxi Gossamer

Poses: various from PosESioN

Location: Home

Blogging Tune: “Little Toy Guns” – Carrie Underwood

Hope If Everybody Runs, You Choose To Stay…

I did it all!
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
With every broken bone
I swear, I lived!

ILived3FINAL

I promise you, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried…

Some of you know that I started a new job on the 6th, working in a call center about an hour from where I live.  So, because I live in one state and work in another, and work so far from home, it’s not like my training class is full of people that I know/have met.

That comes into play later in this story, I promise.

Some of you also know that I dislike dealing face to face with people.  Social anxiety takes over, the smallest things irritate me, and I become even more of a frigid bitch than I am normally.  (Shocker, I know!)  I can sit there and do customer service work over the phone all day long and never bat an eyelash, but being in the same room with all these clashing, strong personalities for 7 hours a day the last two days has been exhausting.

But yeah… back to my socially awkward in-person people skills.

Monday, we did a “Human Scavenger Hunt”, and I’m sure most of you have done one before, if you’ve ever been in a group situation that loved icebreakers.  We had a list of things… small, piddly things…. “wears glasses”, “is left handed”, etc etc.  And the goal was to walk around the room, get to know our class, and have someone sign something that fit them.  You could only sign someone’s paper once.  So, for example, I couldn’t sign under “wears glasses” AND “does volunteer work” on the same person’s paper.  It was meant as a “get to know you” thing.

Well someone in my class who seems about as socially awkward as I am sometimes, came up to me and the first words out of his mouth were, “I think I neeeeed you.”  (Remember, I type/spell how I – or, in this case, others – talk.)  Me trying to be smooth, or something even remotely resembling ‘cool’, responded with, “You neeeeed me, huh?  Whatchu need me for?”  We both laughed, I signed his paper for being left-handed (I’m ambidextrous), and i went on my way.

Then for the last two days, homeboy’s been staring at me.

And tonight… get this.  I live AN HOUR AWAY from where I work.  Homeboy FOLLOWED ME HOME tonight, got out his car when I got home, and said, “Girl, I just had to follow you home and let you know how into you I am.”

Um… I’m flattered, but you creepin’ me out.  Can you please leave?

Methinks it will be an early morning to hang out at the Orange Beach police department and figure out what can be done, protective order-wise, when I do have to work with him.

I promise there’s a point to this story.

ILived1FINAL

There are some women, in some countries, that don’t have the liberty that I do.  To be able to wake up in the morning, talk to my local police department, and have something done about this issue, no matter how small or isolated it may or may not do.

In fact, there are some women, in some countries, who would kill to trade places with me.  They only WISHED that having a mostly-sweet, semi-attractive man follow her home an hour from her workplace to tell her he was into her after knowing her less than 48 hours… they only WISHED that was the worst they had to deal with.

I’m lucky.  We’re lucky.  Those that have the ability and the means provided by our respective societies to take these matters into our own hands and have them dealt with appropriately.

Not all women have that.  And every woman deserves that choice.  That security.

Womankind Worldwide is a UK-based charity that does work internationally… working to give women a stronger voice in their own societies, fighting violence against them and girls, and working to generally promote women’s rights as a whole.  As a woman, even in a country that ultimately has a pretty strong women’s rights movement already, I feel we are all personally impacted in some way by the work that this charity does.  And it appears several people agree!

One of the most prominent is our current reigning Miss Virtual World, Eleseren Brianna.  This weekend opens her fundraiser, Fashion For Change, raising funds to support the amazing work of Womankind Worldwide.  Over the next several blog posts – now that my hard drive is reformatted and I have Photoshop back temporarily – I will be highlighting some wonderful creations by generous designers for this event.  I invite you to join us when the event opens this weekend, and consider providing support to women everywhere.  Womankind, Worldwide.  (As the aptly named charity states.)

ILived2FINAL

*~* Hope If Everybody Runs, You Choose To Stay *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Amberly Skin (Lovely Day; Asia Tone; Makeup Option 1) – Glam Affair  @ C88
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) – IKON
Hair: Nicole (Light Reds) – enVOGUE
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Monochrome Set (White) – Nailed It  @ On9
Lipstick: Glossy Pout (Hot Pink; Dark) – Pink Fuel
Top/Skirt: Lolita – Lyrical Bizarre Templates  @ Fashion For Change

Pose (pic 1): Pose 234 – slouch poses
Pose (pic 2): Golden 11 – PosESioN
Pose (pic 3): Oro 10 – PosESioN

Location: Home

Blogging Tune: “I Lived” – One Republic