Posted in Blush Event, Events, Kustom 9, Uncategorized

Confession .119. Gave You Everything And All I Got Was This…

I’m still rocking your hood, and chewing on the strings
It makes me think about you, so I wear it when I sleep
I kept the broken zipper and cigarette burns
Still rocking your hoodie, baby, even though it hurts…

Confession .119.  Gave You Everything And All I Got Was This...

Storytime with Deia!  This one’s a random/fun story, promise!  I need the giggle and the good nostalgia lately, so I thought I’d share it with you too.

Continue reading “Confession .119. Gave You Everything And All I Got Was This…”

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Look Into My Eyes, It’s Where My Demons Hide…

I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter You
But with the beast inside
There’s nowhere we can hide…

Demons

“Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside.  It’s where my demons hide.”

Nothing helps to pick up a pretty ‘meh’ day like being able to collab on a post, which is not something I get to do often.  It helps even more that he’s pretty.  *Grins*

Meet Vin!  For those who have been around my blog, but are not really from the modeling world, Vin is another one of us who is crazy enough to subject himself to the insane world you all bitch at me about.  Lol.  He’s super sweet, and was kind enough to pose half-naked with me for the sake of fitting with the general mood of the styling I had for this post.

He was also nice enough to blog a couples’ pose with me.

And put up with my shit, in general.  Lol.  He’s a real winner!  And surely, he’s not bad to look at, either.  So that’s always a bonus, right?

I feel like this bodysuit has been blogged by everyone and their mother, but that’s because Blueberry has done it again with another amazing recent release that I just HAD to grab.  Especially after the tone of my last post, I just felt… hot… in this thing.  I dunno.  Lol.

The hat!  Oh my god, I’ve been looking for a good fedora hat forever, and Olive certainly never ceases to come up clutch.  This particular style was developed in collaboration with Pure Poison, for the Espionage round of Collabor88.

All in all, I had fun with this post, and I hope Vin was able to walk away with at least a few ounces of His sanity left.  ❤

Demons 2

*~* Look Into My Eyes, It’s Where My Demons Hide… *~*

— Styled by Tivi —

..:: Shape ::.. MINE
..:: Skin ::.. Bianca Skin (Petale tone) || AlterEgo
..:: Eyes ::.. Deadshine Eyes (Wight; Marine Pupil) || IKON
..:: Hair ::.. The Eve Hair (Greyscale) || Olive Hair & Pure Poison|| Collabor88
..:: Body ::.. Lara Body (v3.5) || Maitreya
..:: Hands ::.. Avatar Enhancement Hands (Gesture) || Slink
..:: Feet ::.. Lara Feet || Maitreya
..:: Fingernails&Rings ::.. My Short Square Nails (Gesture) || Puki
..:: Eye Makeup ::.. Ere Makeup (Black) || Nuuna
..:: Lipstick ::.. Classic Lipstick (Ruby Red; Java Tone) || Pink Fuel
..:: Bodysuit ::.. Lida (Black) || Blueberry
..:: Boots ::.. Alexandra (Black) || N-Core
..:: Garter ::.. Maya Garter (Black) || Atooly || Collabor88

— Styled by Vin —

..:: Shape ::.. HIS
..:: Skin ::.. Tox || Tableau Vivant
..:: Eyes ::.. Triumph || IKON
..:: Hair ::.. Gael || Mina
..:: Body ::.. The Mesh Project
..:: Pants ::.. Luke (Leather) || Gizza
..:: Suspenders ::.. Suspender (Paint) || Gabriel
..:: Boots ::.. Classy Boots || United Colors
..:: Bracelets ::.. Navigator Cuffs || Kunst

..:: Pose ::.. Couple 454 || Purple Poses || Collabor88

..:: Location ::.. Duet

..:: Blogging Tune ::.. “Demons” – Imagine Dragons

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But He’s Gonna Leave You Cryin’ With Your Heart In The Dirt…

Why, why you gotta be so blind?
Won’t you open up your eyes?
It’s just a matter of time ’til you find
He’s no good, girl
No good for you
You’d better get to gettin’ on your goodbye shoes…

Good Girl

“I bet you I can tell you what you’re thinkin’ about…”

This round of Collabor88 made me /thoroughly/ happy.  Lol.  I tend to style based on my mood, and lately I’m so grr and rawr, as can be evidenced by the tune attached to today’s blog.  Badassery isn’t something I’ve gotten to do very much lately in my styling, at least not in the way I’d want to, like today.  But walking into Collabor88 was like an angry girl’s heaven.  From the tight-fitting, off the shoulder dress down to the little pistol in my stiletto, I feel like the epitome of, “I will end you.”

It’s also not often that I find a ponytail lately that I like, however… color me surprised to find one in a hair designer that I had never heard of before.  Oleander.  Welcome to the craziness that is my blog.  😛

And I just can’t get over how awesome these shoes and jewelry set are.  Gah.  I’m just all over this styling today, I guess.  Lol.

Good Girl 2

*~* But He’s Gonna Leave You Cryin’ With Your Heart In The Dirt… *~*

..:: Shape ::.. MINE
..:: Skin ::.. Adrianna Skin (special Rose tone) || AlterEgo || group gift!
..:: Eyes ::.. Hope Eyes (Forest) || IKON
..:: Hair ::.. Taffy (Mono Tones) || Oleander || Collabor88
..:: Body ::.. Lara Body (v3.5) || Maitreya
* Maitreya updated her body recently!  Be sure to grab it!
..:: Hands ::.. Avatar Enhancement Hands (Gesture) || Slink
..:: Feet ::.. Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) || Slink
..:: Fingernails&Rings ::.. My Short Square Nails || Puki
* The version I have is specifically for the Gesture hands, but there are SO many different ones, you’ll likely be able to find one that fits your chosen hand.
..:: Lipstick ::.. Classic Lipstick (Ruby Red; Java Tone) || Pink Fuel
..:: Dress ::.. Femme Fatale (Black) || Pixicat || Collabor88
..:: Heels ::.. Nika (Black) || N-Core || Collabor88
..:: Face Mask ::.. Taffy Metallic Mask (Black) || Oleander || Collabor88
..:: Necklace&Earrings ::.. Mata Hari Mesmer Set || Maxi Gossamer || Collabor88

..:: Pose (photo 1) ::.. Lady of Mystery 06m || Ma Vie || Collabor88
..:: Pose (photo 2) ::.. Lady of Mystery 07 || Ma Vie || Collabor88

..:: Blogging Tune ::.. “Good Girl” – Carrie Underwood

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Life Is A Drink, And Life’s A Drug…

And said drink from me, drink from me
When I was so thirsty
Pour on a symphony
Now I just can’t get enough….

Hymn For The Weekend

“Your love’s about to make the stars come out.”

Steampunk is not normally my thing.  I feel like I need to preface this post with that, before I get the “OMG YOU JUST BUTCHERED MY LIFEBLOOD!” comments.

However, I saw the Steam Love collection that Lyrical B!zarre just put out, and I fell in love with a vast majority of everything I saw.  This particular outfit, however, is what stuck out the most to me, because of its simplicity and intricacy all at once.  That, and I love the cage skirting.  A bit out there, but still simple and not to “look at me!”

And of course, when I saw the top hat, I knew I had to pair it with one of Truth’s recent-ish hairs and a set that was graciously given to the Chop Zuey bloggers.  It isn’t “new”, per se, but it’s a gorgeous set that was created for MissSL India in last year’s pageant.

The skin is, of course, another one of AlterEgo’s.  I feel as though I’ve worn her skins exclusively for the last few months, and I think it would be safe to say that I will continue to wear them exclusively for the foreseeable future.  This PARTICULAR version of this PARTICULAR skin is not available in the store.  It was a raffle prize from BlackOut and was never actually put in the store in any form, but there was a rumor that at some point, she may put a ‘no makeup’ version of this face in the Mainstore.  So keep a lookout!

I’m just having a bit too much fun in photoshop lately.  😀

Hymn For The Weekend 2

*~* Life Is A Drink, And Life’s A Drug… *~*

..:: Shape ::.. MINE
..:: Skin ::.. Joclynn (Havana Tone) || AlterEgo
* Again, this skin and this face is not available at the Mainstore, however if you scroll through my recent posts, you’ll see the awesomeness Toxx makes!  Totally worth a look.
..:: Eyes ::.. Hope Eyes (Forest) || IKON
..:: Hair ::.. Emeline (Blacks&Whites) || Truth Hair
..:: Body ::.. Lara Body (v3.5) || Maitreya
* Maitreya just updated their body yesterday!  Be sure to grab it!
..:: Hands ::.. Avatar Enhancement Hands (Gesture) || Slink
..:: Feet ::.. Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) || Slink
..:: Lipstick ::.. Classic Lipstick (Ruby Red; Java Tone) || Pink Fuel
..:: Dress/Skirt/Hat ::.. Steam Futura || Lyrical B!zarre || new release!
..:: Heels ::.. Kaia (Black) || N-Core
..:: Necklace/Earrings ::.. MissSL Chandrani Texture Change Set || Chop Zuey
* This set comes with a color change HUD to work the diamonds, gems, and pearls separately, providing for endless combinations!

..:: Pose (photo 1) ::.. Statue 7 || Posesion
..:: Pose (photo 2) ::.. Mortius 10 || Posesion

..:: Location ::.. Advent Hollow Harbor

..:: Blogging Tune ::.. “Hymn For The Weekend” – Coldplay

Posted in Uncategorized

Channeling Angels In The New Age Now…

Will You still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me when I’ve got nothing but my aching soul?

Young & Beautiful

“I’ve seen the world, lit it up, as my stage now.”

Ok!  So!  The blog I promised of the outfit I danced in last night, cause too many of you asked me.  Lol.  And a few disclaimers… first of all, I MUST give credit where credit is due.  This entire look was inspired by how amazing Toxxic looked at BlackOut this past weekend.  When I knew I was working with a black box and particles, I knew I wanted to be completely white.  So I took inspiration from her look, which you can find HERE on her blog, and created my own interpretation.  Complete with this NEW tone for the Adriana skin that she just released yesterday.  (Yes, I literally purchased the skin 15 minutes before the show started.  LOL.)

The other disclaimer is that for the blog post, I changed hair.  The hair I danced in just wasn’t playing nice with the windlight.  However, if you want the hair I danced in, it was Magika’s “Shimmer”.  The white color I used is part of Hud 02.  BUT, changing hair was a wonderful excuse to blog this super cute hair from Doe, so it all worked out!

Anyway… just wow.  As I said on Facebook last night, I had never experimented in Particle Artistry before.  When I began dancing in SL back in 2009, I was strictly a Gorean dancer for a short bit… it was all I knew how to do.  And then when I moved into being both a Gorean dancer and a neo-burlesque performer, I still didn’t really use particles so much.  I think the one time I did was actually in a Gorean dance, and it was towards the end, I used a lightening particle effect coming from my hands to emphasize a point in the dance.  Otherwise, I didn’t really use them.

There were so many other modern dancers a part of the dance community that made it their life’s mission to be Particle Artists, and they were so amazing and beautiful… I just never thought to try.  Leave it to the pro’s, right?  Welp.  After coming back to modern dancing a few weeks ago, I decided it was time for some changes and some new things!

When I chose the song “Young and Beautiful”… it was just such a tragically beautiful song that I couldn’t do anything too complex to it.  I knew, very quickly, that this would be the song I would finally dip my toe into being not just a dancer… but a Particle Artist.  The entire dance was done in a black box, and done entirely just with music, animations, appearance (which this look is quite shocking, yes?  I love it!), and particles.

It was so well-received.  I’m still just completely blown away at the compliments on it I’m still getting today.  People who saw the video or were at the show… I can’t begin to tell you how humbled I am that you all enjoyed it so much.  I will definitely be pursuing more particle art pieces!  I promise you!

For those who may not have seen the amazing video that Toxxic did for me, you can find it HERE on her Flickr.  The only thing that didn’t come through was a lot of the color of the particles, but it’s still such a gorgeously edited video… I’m blown away and flattered.  And, again, so damn humbled.

Thank you all again, for making last night one of the greatest nights of my dancing career.  ❤

Young & Beautiful 2

*~* Channeling Angels In The New Age Now… *~*

..:: Shape ::.. MINE
..:: Skin ::.. Adrianna Skin (Pearle Tone; Browless version) || AlterEgo || new release!
..:: Eyes ::.. Demon Eyes || Genesis Lab || group gift!
..:: Hair ::.. Camilla (Pastels) || Doe
..:: Body ::.. Lara Body (v3.4) || Maitreya
* Maitreya just released an update to their body today, that I did not put on before these pictures, as they were actually taken last night!  Please make sure you update your body.
..:: Hands ::.. Avatar Enhancement Hands (Gesture) || Slink
..:: Nails&Rings ::.. My Short Square Nails || Puki
* The ones I’m wearing were made specifically for Slink Gesture hands, HOWEVER there are so many other hand styles sold in the mainstore, so I’m sure there’s one for your preferred hand!
..:: Eyebrows ::.. Brows (tintable) || AlterEgo
..:: Eyemakeup ::.. Combined (tintable) || AlterEgo
..:: Lipstick ::.. Geisha Lip (White) || AlterEgo
* The above 3 cosmetics are all from a makeup addon pack sold in AlterEgo.
..:: Dress ::.. Muted Coven Dress (Milk) || Zenith
..:: Collar ::.. Muted Coven Collar (Snow) || Zenith
..:: Tattoo ::.. Southpaw (White) || RARE Gacha Item || White Widow

..:: Pose (photo 1) ::.. Deluxe 3 || Posesion
..:: Pose (photo 2) ::.. Runway 1 5 (Level 4) || Vitalis Animatum

..:: Location ::.. Noir Neverland Cabaret

..:: Blogging Tune ::.. “Young and Beautiful” – Lana Del Ray

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If You Were A Poet And I Was A Faultless Muse…

Yeah, one million bullets could come my way
But I want you to know that I’d take a million, babe
How many would you take?

One Million Bullets 2

“I got a feeling the war has been won here.”

Wow.  You look very, very, very hot.

That’s what I like to hear about an outfit like this!  LOL.  I have what could probably be deemed as an ‘unhealthy obsession’ with anything and everything that Aisling makes, from the first gacha machine I ever played… which was their Game of Thrones Lady of Highgarden set at a Secret Affair event a couple years ago.  Been hooked ever since.

And this round of Fantasy Gacha Carnival was no exception.

Though, to be perfectly honest, it made me super giddy to get that compliment from the person I got it from, if I’m gonna be honest.  And after all, where am I the most honest?  Here in this damn blog.  LOL.

I’m pretty sure I made an ass out of myself when I first met this person.  Like… I’m pretty sure I was in a super weird mood that day/that point in my life… and I IMed Him acting like the epitome of a “pushy sub” and He HAD to have thought I was insane.  Like… certifiably psycho.  Or, at the very least, a nympho.  Lmao.  But despite what I am pretty sure was a quite tragically embarrassing beginning, that Man did not mute and derender me.  Lolol.  He actually kept speaking to me.

And I totally developed a thing for Him, like a little girl who has NO clue what she’s doing.  Lol.

But come ON… if half of you heard this Man’s voice just once… and then listened to the content of what He speaks… You would fully understand how feelings happened.

But the thing about Him, is that feelings happened.. but rather than trying to act on them, or explore them, I was content with just occupying a space in His life at all.  And that space just happened to grow to be like a little sister to Him.  Which is fine in the long run.  In the end, it’s kept us in each others’ lives for YEARS.

Though of course, there’s always a but…

On days like today when I’m watching everyone around me pair off, I do muse occasionally on the “what if”s in life… and this Man frequents them more than I’d like to admit.  Lol.

So, yeah… all this to say, that compliment made me grin like an idiot, and blush like a little girl.

Why are feelings so stupid?

One Million Bullets

*~* If You Were A Poet And I Was A Faultless Muse… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Dionne Skin (Soleil) || AlterEgo
*This is one of Toxxic’s gorgeous new Gen Two skins that were released in store on Feb 1st.  You should definitely go check it out. All new faces, and a completely redone body.
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Forest) || IKON
Hair: Haley (Naturals) || Lovey Dovey
* This was released at BlackOut this year, but it should hopefully be in the mainstore soon.
Body: Lara Body (v3.4) || Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Gesture) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Flat) || Slink
Lipstick: Classic Lipstick (Ruby Red; Java) || Pink Fuel
Top & Sleeves: Phryne Set || Common Gacha Item || Aisling || FGC Feb 2016
Panties & Skirt: Phryne Set || Common Gacha Item || Aisling || FGC Feb 2016
Collar/Cape/Backpiece: Phyrne Set || RARE Gacha Item || Aisling || FGC Feb 2016
Headpiece: Phyrne Set || RARE Gacha Item || Aisling || FGC Feb 2016

Pose (photo 1): Eternal Beauty 6 || Nantra
Pose (photo 2): Yeriak 1 || Posesion

Location: Miyako Jima Island

Blogging Tune: “One Million Bullets” – Sia

Posted in Uncategorized

I Don’t Like To Wait Too Long To Wait Too Long…

Babe, I wanna drink You in
Like Oxygen, like Oxygen
Baby, I’m a house on fire
And I wanna keep burning…

House On Fire

“I’m going up in flames, and You’re to blame, yeah You’re to blame.  Baby, I’m a house on fire, and I wanna keep burning.”

First of all, I have a new sponsor!  😀  Thank you very much to Belle Roussel of Chop Zuey for hopping aboard the crazy train that is my blog life.  Lol.  This set that I’m featuring today is actually going to be released as a Valentine’s Day set on Valentine’s Day (Sunday, Feb 14th).  The FIRST 50 COPIES will be 50% off.  So go, run!  Shoo!

Also, I have discovered a new love… Lovey Dovey hair!  Teeny made the hair that was in my post yesterday during AlterEgo’s BlackOut, and I was so thrilled with it, I had to run to her store and see what else she had.  I came away with this adorable hair that was perfect for showcasing Chop Zuey’s necklace.

Anyway… what I wanted to talk about.

Since it’s 3 in the morning… it’s technically Valentine’s Day for me.  So on this… Valentine’s Day… I want to tell you a story.  And by “you”, I certainly mean any of you crazy enough to be reading this far… but I’m also hoping a particular person sees this, reads it, and truly thinks about its content.

I stopped believing in a “natural fit” a long time ago.. or, at least, I thought I had.  Once bitten, twice shy, and other cliches of that nature explain my life far more accurately than they should.  There are reasons behind most things I do, no matter how stupid or small they seem… and it’s because I’ve become accustomed to an existence where everything is about safety.  There is a cliche that says we build walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to tear them down.  That is not the case for me… I very much build my walls to keep people out.

Because it’s safer that way.

You said that perhaps You were more torn up about Your break-up than You thought You were… I’ve been there.  In fact… I’ve been there recently.  Let me tell you a story…

I don’t roleplay much anymore, but when I did, I was very story-line focused.  I wanted continuity.  In other words, I couldn’t just take a massive hiatus and come back like nothing ever happened.  In my head, I needed a logical explanation.  Fortunately for me, it always seemed that I took a hiatus when, feasibly, I could be gone for a long time, per story-line.  This particular time, the last time I had roleplayed, I had been stolen by a Northern Man and taken North.  To anyone’s knowledge, I had never been recovered and brought back home.

So that was where it was able to start.

I met Him… and immediately He was honest that He was actually a She behind the keyboard.  At the time, I was only after a story-line, and so the gender of the typist didn’t matter too much to me.  She played her male character very well, and that was what mattered to me.  He/She also told me He/She was married.  So immediately we established boundaries.  Her husband knew about what she did in Second Life… because there were things she needed that she couldn’t get from her marriage.  (Sound familiar?)  But at the same time, setting boundaries helped keep her RL marriage a priority, and everybody knew where everybody stood.  Again, I only wanted a story-line at the time, so all of this was quite agreeable to me.

But the more we hung out, and the more we roleplayed, and the more we sat in voice on Skype, the more we opened up to each other.  I told her things… some things You know, and some things You don’t.  She told me things.  She told me a lot of things… including entrusting me with some very personal pieces of herself and her past.  It was enlightening, about the person behind the keyboard.  I felt like I knew more than just her character, I knew her.

That was probably mistake number one.  We really got to know each other.  With the boundaries we’d set and the kind of ‘relationship’ that we wanted, it was probably a mistake to be as ‘plugged in’ to each other as we were.  But it happened.  And at the time, neither of us seemed to mind.

Until, of course, we realized we loved each other.

And when we figured that out, most of the basis of our roleplay went out the window, and we roleplayed so rarely that sometimes we’d forget we had obligations in the RP sim.  Granted, there was other shit going on not related to our relationship that made that roleplay environment pretty dismal anyway… but for the most part, our power exchange and our dynamic vanished.

We became more of a boyfriend/girlfriend… or, I guess in our case, girlfriend/girlfriend.

I suppose, to look at it in that sense, She was my first girlfriend.

When everything went downhill, it did so very quickly.  She had told me in the beginning she was a Switch, but that she so rarely visited her submissive side, it wouldn’t be a problem.  So, naturally, because the Universe is a bitch, it became a problem.  A large one.  She spent more and more time wanting to be submissive… and even trying to act submissive in OUR relationship, which… doesn’t bode well for me.  I need guidance and structure… I need a leader in the other half of my relationship.  I don’t need someone trying to follow me when, in my personal relationships, I’m seeking to follow them.

It was just a mess.

All in all, it ended in her telling me she couldn’t be what I needed.  That She can only be a Dominant to weak women.  That I was too strong for her.  Good to know that my working through my past and my problems to possess the inner strength that I possess, and then willingly hand it to someone who promises to guide me… is a negative thing?  It was an emotional breakup… or, at least, it was for me.  She claimed it was for her too, but at the same time she refused to come in voice to actually have the conversation.  It took place in an IM box.

I got mad and auto-returned everything on our home sim and tp’d out.  Yeah, I reacted.  My bad.

Less than a week later (within a matter of days), she was off on her alt in the collar of some Man.  And a week after that, she was running around the sim we roleplayed on, on her male avatar, dragging some new girl around.  All that time we spent together, all that love we supposedly had for one another… and it was less than 2 weeks before she had completely forgotten about me and replaced me.

My heart broke all over again, realizing just how little I meant to Her.

So, I guess, in a way, I’m pretty emotionally fucked up from my last break-up too.  But I meant everything I said that night, and I still have that gift in my inventory with Your name on it that I look at… daily… and have no idea what to do with.

Perhaps we are more of a ‘natural fit’ than You thought… or, rather, than You stopped thinking.  You were the first one to use the term.  But then you ‘changed your mind’.

I don’t know.  I just know that I don’t like how things are now.  I don’t.  I don’t like the silence.  I don’t like You just leaving without another word like everything was supposed to be perfect and the first time it wasn’t, it’s no longer worth it.

I don’t like it.  Come home?

House On Fire 2

*~* I Don’t Like To Wait Too Long To Wait Too Long… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Mila Skin (Almond Tone; Special Diva Makeup) || AlterEgo
* This particular makeup was exclusive as a raffle prize at BlackOut 2016, however other versions of the Mila skin are for sale with the Generation One skins at AlterEgo’s mainstore.
Eyes: Triumph Eyes (Silverleaf) || IKON
Hair: Blossom (Natural Ombres) || Lovey Dovey
Body: Lara Body (v3.4) || Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Gesture) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) || Slink
Dress: Valentina Dress (White) || Topazia
Boots: Nicole Boots (White) || Candydoll
* I bought these boots at Candydoll’s display at BlackOut, but they should be in the mainstore.  If they aren’t right now, they should be soon!
Necklace: Dirait-On Necklace || Chop Zuey
Bracelet: Dirait-On Bracelet 1 || Chop Zuey
* This set is color change with 12 different colors for the center gem of the necklace.  4 different bracelets come with the set that you are able to mix and match, all for the right arm but they are copyable so you can make left copies too.  This set also comes with Earrings that are not shown.

Pose (photo 1): Mortius 5 || Posesion
Pose (photo 2): Narnia 6 || Posesion

Blogging Tune: “House On Fire” – Sia