Confession .07. I’m A Pessimistic Optimist

Takin’ all the shots, I ain’t missin’ any freethrows
We just touched down, like Marino
Bitch, I’m in the building
I think it’s time to reload…

Holy wow.  So many good things this week.  So many good things.  ❤

For those of you who didn’t know, from, like, the 21st of March until yesterday, the 28th, I was involved in AlterEgo’s 7th Face Off contest.  To me, it was the closest thing to a “Face” contest this brand would ever hold, and so, being that AlterEgo has been my obsession for far longer than I like admitting sometimes, of course I entered, and I was determined to end up on top.

Confession .06. My Faith Is Both Easy And Hard To Lose

Boy, look at You looking at me
I know You know how I feel…
Loving you is hard, being here is harder
You take the wheel.
I don’t wanna do this anymore, it’s so surreal…
I can’t survive if this is all that’s real…

“We won’t survive.  We’re sinking into the sand.”

I am very… strange.  Let’s be honest, we all knew that… lol.  But what I mean is, I’m very strange when it comes to my experiences with other people, and the human race in general.  In some instances, it is very easy for me to lose my faith in someone/people as a whole, and in other instances, it is very difficult for you to fall out of favor with me.

Confession .05. I Drive My Grandmother’s Car

I drive your truck
I roll every window down
And I burn up every back road in this town
I find a field, tear it up
Til all the pain’s a cloud of dust
Yeah, sometimes I drive your truck…

“Mama asked me this morning if I’d been by your grave.  But that flag and stone ain’t where I feel you, anyway…”

Something about being in this peaceful sim in a pretty new dress with some hair reminiscent of the ‘old Tivi’ just made me smile and get a bit nostalgic today.  I am blessed to have the sponsors that I have, and while I don’t do this often, I’d like to personally thank Mami Jewell of -AZUL- and Casandra Rain of enVOGUE for unknowingly giving me the excuse to have a rather bittersweet, tender kind of past few hours while editing these pictures and reflecting while I listen to this song and write.  It was sad, but it was a heart-warming kind of sad… if that makes sense.

Confession .04. I Am A Caged Bird

But a caged bird stands on the graves of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing…

I’m very torn about how I feel right now.  The line from Maya Angelou’s poem about standing on the graves of dreams feels very much like a reality in my life at the moment, as it appears that some things I want for myself in my life (things that I would like to think I deserve, at some point) are continuing to elude me… but in the same breath, some other amazing pretty awesome dreams have begun to come true on the coattails of a few others breaking down.

That might just be vague enough to work.

Confession .03. My Mood Is Fickle

You fascinated me, cloaked in shadows and secrecy
The beauty of a broken angel
I ventured carefully, afraid of what You thought I’d be
But pretty soon I was entangled…

“Teach me how to fight, I’ll show you how to win.  You’re my mortal flaw, and I’m Your favorite sin.  Let me feel the sting, the pain, the burn under my skin.”

So.  I took these pictures yesterday and then kinda lost the motivation to actually WRITE a post for them, so I sat on them for a day.  Sorry about that.  However, it means that I can ironically announce and thank a new sponsor in a post that actually features them, so that coincidence totally works out, right?