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Teacher, I Feel The Dots Connecting…

Beat down on me, beat down like a waterfall
Cause I can take on so much more than I had every dreamed
Beat down on me, beat down like a waterfall
Cause baby I am ready to be free…


I’ve been listening to this song for days.  I’ve also had these pictures edited for days.  Sorry about that.  Lol.

I’m so far behind in things, and I’ll be perfectly honest, I was so focused on that Miss AZUL audition that I kinda put everything else on the backburner.  Designer contacts for a Penumbra event, updates for Makeover Magic, general things for Relay, blogging… all of it went to the back seat for this audition.  And I felt really good about what I did.  I mean, hell, at least my walk was on point.  Whether they liked the styling or the poses, that’s on them.  People are individual, so there’s absolutely no possible way to predict and tailor yourself to anyone and everyone. All I can do at the end of the day is ask myself if /I/ liked what I styled.  And I did.

I’ll post it soon.  Cause I owe a super huge thank you to someone who helped with my jewelry.  😀

But… I dunno.  I guess I played the whole thing up so much in my head.  I was so passionate about it and into it.  And then… I dunno what happened.  I was still so fired up and passionate, even after I saw I didn’t make it.  I was like, “Hell yeah, let’s kill this Public Vote thing, then.”  And then… I watch the same old faces… the same people who do everything else… and I feel powerless to fight it.

There are so many people… as those on my Facebook have probably seen… there are so many friends pulling for me, and I love them all to death.  The amount of love I feel in those people not only taking a moment to vote, but taking a moment to share the link and ask others that may or may not even know who I am, to vote.  Master shared it on His RL Facebook.  Like… the support from my friends is overwhelming.  And it’s amazing.

But support from genuinely caring people isn’t enough to fight the system.


The system that says you’re either a name or you’re not.  There’s no in between.  And if you’re not, they’ll find SOME way to not let you get anywhere.  I was determined to fight.  I still am.  As much as it exhausts me, I will fight until that poll closes tomorrow.

But I can’t say I’ll be shocked if I’m not one of those final 3 Finalists.  And then what?

Then, I get to sit back and watch the same names in yet another contest.  Some, I will say, are genuinely amazing people.  And those are the ones I will pull for, and hope to do well.  Others, unfortunately, are crown-chasers, looking to add yet another contest to their belt, all while taking opportunities from others who have worked hard to get there just once.

Just once.

Not all of us have people in our corners who will just hand us everything we want without us having to work for it.  Some of us work our asses off for everything we do.  Every opportunity that we come by, is only by the hours… days… weeks… months… years… of tireless effort that we put into everything.

Unfortunately… and I’m pretty sure I’ve said this a lot lately… but I guess that work ethic is rare.  I just never thought watching the same people compete that I’ve been watching for years compete in everything else would be so heartbreaking.

But this time, for some reason, it is.  However, I’ll bounce back from it.  I always do.  I’ve had a lot of practice.  🙂


*~* Teacher, I Feel The Dots Connecting… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Yolandi (Artic Tone; Makeup 04) || Glam Affair || Summerfest
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) || IKON
Hair: Beach Party (Bodacious Blondes) || Clawtooth || Summerfest
Body: Lara Mesh Body (v3.3) || Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Casual) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Flat) || Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Feria de Abril (Rose) || Nailed It || On9 (site)
Bikini Top: Hello Sailor Top (Coral) || Atomic || Summerfest
Cardigan: Sabra Kimono (Tribal 3) || Maitreya || Summerfest
Jeans: Zipper Skinny Jeans (#6) || Maitreya
Sandals: Mara Flats (Blush; tinted) || Ingenue || Summerfest
Nose Ring: Cihuapilli Nose Ring (Gold) || Soedara
Necklace: Cadwyn Collar (Gold) || A Master’s Eye || We ❤ RP (site)
Bracelet: Anchor Bracelet (Gold) || ieQED || Summerfest
Rings: Marina Ring Set (Gold) || ieQED || Summerfest

Bench: Summer Bench (neutral) || ionic || Summerfest
Curtain: Arrow Curtain (white) || ionic || Summerfest
Wall: Wooden Display || ionic || Summerfest
Picture Frame: Palm Frame || ionic || Summerfest

Location: Home

Blogging Tune: “Invincible” – Kelly Clarkson

Posted in Uncategorized

I Might Only Have One Match, But I Can Make An Explosion…

All those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Do you hear my voice this time?


So.  I had a lot of fun with this.  And the first question Master asked me was, “You’re a Japanese Daenerys?”  I didn’t look at it that way until He asked that.  I’ve been pretty much giggling ever since.

Which is nice, given that so much shit has happened in such a short amount of time, I’m beginning to seriously wonder what’s in the water lately.  People backstabbing, people stealing, people lying… and the worst of all, people getting what they don’t deserve, or not getting what they do.  It’s like the Universe has gone and made a giant mess and Karma has NO damn idea where to start.

And where DO you start with a list of bullshit like that?  I mean… really… think about it for a moment.

Do you start with the people who take advantage of a long-time friendship… take their money… and then constantly bully them into doing what you want them to do… and threaten to leave and go compete against them if they don’t do what you want?  Not to mention when that competition is started, your entire foundation is built on poached people and stolen ideas…?  What part of that is RIGHT?

Or do you start with the people who steal the work of others and call it their own… are approached and offered the opportunity to do the right thing and offer an apology, and instead respond with, “There is no way this is my fault.”  I think that’s part of the problem.  People WATCH this stuff happen.  They STAND BY and LET the bad happen, but because their hands aren’t directly involved in the bullshit, they think they come out smelling like roses.

Instead, they just smell like shit and wear clothespins on their noses.


Do you start with the people who act like they’re decent individuals… projecting one form of themselves to the world while secretly breaking laws, breaking trust, ruining lives and feeling absolutely ZERO remorse for anything they do.  In fact, they’ll even defend the wrongs they’ve done like it’s perfectly acceptable.  These people are ones I don’t understand.  There is grey area with a lot of things… but there’s not a grey area with trust… there’s not a grey area with the law.  There’s not a grey area with whether or not you’re a decent human being.  Yet some peoples’ moral compass is so skewed, they continue to think they’re going due North… when really, they’re headed straight South.

And then… or and then… there are those that are the worst kinds of people… the ones who take the future of others in their hands, claiming they care about it, when really they care about whether or not they’re better at xyz than someone else.  Let me tell you something I’ve learned in the 3 years I’ve been modeling in SL… you’re not just some pretty thing to stand there, get free clothes, and look nice.  You are LITERALLY taking the future of the brand into your hands.  How you make their clothing look can be a direct reflection on not only your ability to style, but on the Designer’s ability to create.  If you make their clothing look like shit because you don’t know what you’re doing because you don’t actually care, there are some people who won’t look at it as, “Well she didn’t put the right shoes/jewelry/whatever with that dress…”  Instead, they’ll simply say, “She looks like shit.  That dress must be shit.” and thus a negative opinion of a brand is formed.

And when you’ve got new blood coming into this industry that aren’t here because they appreciate fashion or because they have something to SAY with their styling… they’re not here to learn or to work or to help other people achieve the things they want to achieve with their Brands… when you’ve got new blood that doesn’t have the integrity or the appreciation for the hard work that other people do, and are solely focused on what they can get and how quickly they can look better than someone else… how quickly they can ‘achieve’ more than someone else in this pixelated world we live in… then we’ve got new blood coming in that’s going to ruin the industry.

Until they stop thinking of themselves and think of the people that MAKE them who they are… those of us that came before them… those of us that DESIGN for them… until they start to think of someone OTHER than themselves… this industry is doomed.

Because this self-centered new blood is coming in at a faster rate than any decent new model who’s a decent person.

I, for one, am sick of it.  Let the ones who do the work and actually have something to SAY with their style take back the industry from those who are only in it to serve themselves.

Because if we can’t… it will die.


*~* I Might Only Have One Match, But I Can Make An Explosion… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Harley (Porcelain Tone; Lid 02) || Pink Fuel
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) || IKON
Hair: Olinda (Blacks&Whites) || Truth Hair
Ears&Tail: Cutie Ears & Fluffy Tail (Light) || Sweet Thing || Arcade Gacha (site)
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Flat) || Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Feria de Abril (Chicle) || Nailed It || On9 (site)
Undereye Liner: Lyre Makeup (White) || Nuuna
Lips: London Liner (White Lips Only) || Madrid Solo
Chest/Neck: Meta Makeup (White; 70%) || Nuuna
Kimono: Lolita Yukata Sweet (RARE) || Tentacio & antielle || Arcade Gacha (site)
Shoes: Okobo (Sky; Common) || Tentacio & antielle || Arcade Gacha (site)
Choker: Stretch Choker (Pink; Common) || Kibitz || In-store Gacha
Food Tray: Wagashi Box (Common) || Tentacio & antielle || Arcade Gacha (site)
Dragons: Solstice Dragon (Permafrost & Sakura) || Half Deer || Arcade Gacha (site)

Poses: various from PosESioN

Location: Le Cafe Chez Jean

Tune: “Fight Song” || Rachel Platten