Confession .154. Cause I’m A Fucking Mess Sometimes…

Cause I had the best of the worst sides
And I had these lungs
And I had too many flash fires that I just let them burn
Til my chest is on fire
And my head just won’t die
I guess I’m lyin’ cause I wanna
I guess I’m lyin’ cause I don’t
Cause I just feel so tired…

“Like it’s move or slowly die…”

Again, sorry not sorry that Eden songs have been stuck in my head for the last several days.  It’s one of those times when I re-discover how much I love something.  Especially when I spent more hours than I’d like to count tabbed into the Hunt avatar managing everything over there, I just toss on a mix that’s an hour or two long so I don’t have to worry about finding new songs to listen to.  And one of my favorite mixes is full of Eden and The Eden Project songs.  Lol.

So can you really blame me?

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Confession .152. One Of The Only Girls That I Love, Dat My Main…

So all you haters lookin’, you could try tonight
Cause I’m down for whatever when she’s by my side
Dat my main one, dat my main one
And we’ll always be down for life…

“Ladies, do we sell water in this bar?”
“Hellllllllllllll nah!”

This song has been on repeat since Saturday night… so of course it showed up on this post.  Though it would’ve been better in a post WITH my main one.  Haha.  But that’s kinda what this post is about…

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Confession .151. I’d Be All You Need, And You’d Get Drunk On Me…

Maybe if I was a neon light
I’d lead your car right back to my door
Oh, maybe if I was a jukebox needle dropping on a drinking song
You’d want one more
If my name was Whiskey
Maybe right now you’d miss me…

There comes a time where you’ve given so much to someone or something, that you have to see if it’s not being reciprocated.  You have to sit back and objectively look at what you’re giving and what you’re getting back from it and question whether the return is worth the effort put in.

And sometimes it will be unbalanced, and that’ll still be ok.  Other times, it will take sitting back and looking objectively at it to see just how much your efforts are being taken advantage of.

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Confession .150. You Gave Up, I Grew Up…

Where would I, where would I be?
What would I do?
If You were, if You were there when I needed You?

I don’t think this particular post actually exists on social media anymore… I shared it last night on my Facebook page from Chris Crocker, but today I couldn’t find it on my page or his.  I went looking and found a cached version that still had it, where I was able to grab the content because I feel like it is COMPLETELY true in the age of social media, and also in Second Life.

He may have deleted it because of social anxiety issues or any other reason really… it’s his page, but I felt the need to post it here.  These words are not my own, but Chris Crocker’s.

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Confession .149. Chasing Dreams Like I’m On Novacaine…

Stay, You’re not gonna leave me
This place is right where You need to be
And why Your words gotta mean so much to them
And they mean nothing to me
So stay, You’re not what you’re hearing
Cause I’ve been watching You changing
And who said You’re one in a million anyway?

Don’t judge me.  Girl-Tivi is less of the barefoot hippie I used to be… so boy-Tivi has to take over that role now.  Lol.

Also, not to spoil the content of the post too much, but consider this your trigger warning.  If death, near-death experiences, or cancer are triggers for you, then you may want to proceed into this post with caution.

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Confession .148. We Swear We’re Alive, But We’re Falling To Pieces…

We fight like lions, we howl at the moon
We should be flying, instead we bury the truth
But I know inside, we’re beautiful creatures…

Before anyone starts reading and goes to make this comment… yes, I’m aware this is a deer onesie, not a goat.  *laughs*  However, the deer was the closest to a goat in this gacha set, so you gotta bear with me.  I did what I could with what was at my disposal.

Besides, it was only to be smartass-y about this particular topic anyway.  Lol.  Zodiac Signs!

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Confession .147. To Not Know Who I Am But Still Know That I’m Good Long As You’re Here With Me…

I don’t know what it is, but I got that feeling
Waking up in this bed next to you, swear the room – yeah – it got no ceiling
If we lay, let the day just pass us by
I might get to too much talking
I might have to tell you something…

“I like me better when I’m with You.”

I’m the one that will sabotage my own relationships.  I’ll get stir-crazy and feel trapped, despite WANTING to serve and be in that subservient place in my relationships… so I’ll sabotage myself, find an excuse to leave, and go.  Peace out, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

But not here… not this time…

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