Posted in Uncategorized

Blood Thicker Than The Champagne…

Ooo, we’re makin’ moves
You only doin’ what my power lets you do
You see, that money isn’t everybody’s thing
When it come to power, there can only be one king

AintAboutTheMoney2FINAL

“Blood is thicker than water, but b.s. is the thickest.”

It’s amazing how I can blog something and completely believe in it, and then, like, 10 minutes later, completely flip my opinion.  No catalyst, no nothing.  Just be thinking more about it and realize just how damn mad I am about it.

Because you know… I’ve been the supportive friend for a long time.  I’ve smiled and nodded when inside I’ve been SCREAMING, “This is a baaaaaaaaad idea.”  And even when we were together, I told him, “I will 110% support anything you choose to do, except taking her back.  That is the /one/ thing that will make me leave.”  And still, somewhere in his mind, going back to that… mess… was a better option.  A better idea.

And going back, only lead to the most recent break-up with the outing situation.  That I STILL can’t wrap my mind around how he just has seemed to up and manage to forgive her.

I honestly don’t think I can smile and nod anymore.  Because it’s a bad idea.  She’s a bad person.  And I used to think he deserved better.

The very definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and yet expecting different results… and that has been what I’ve observed from this man the entire time I’ve known him.  She comes across so sweet sometimes.  She’s one of those people that’s /really/ good at showing one face to other people, but being a completely different person behind closed doors.

I’m not terribly certain how comfortable I would be conducting an SL relationship with someone who made me break up with my RL partner whom I live with (yeah…. don’t get me started… I think I’ve commented on that before…), rezzed spy equipment in my sim to make sure I’m not back with said RL partner in SL… verbally abused me when I found said spy equipment and ended it with her… outed very personal real life information of mine the next time we broke up, with no regard to me as a person or as the person she supposedly loved… I don’t know how I could possibly forgive and forget all that and just go back into a relationship like nothing happened.

And I have ZERO idea how I could do that and EXPECT IT TO WORK THIS TIME.

I’m just over here beating my head against the desk in frustration like… I used to think he was a good person under bad influence.  And I clung to that idea so damn tight.  When everyone else told me otherwise.  When everyone else tried to make me see things he was doing that had nothing to do with her.  Decisions he was making on his own to betray and screw over his friends.  I refused to see it.  “She makes him this way,” I repeated, like a broken record.

Like a damn mantra that made my pathetic defense of him ok.

No more.  All doing this has ever done has allowed him to keep some sort of power over me, and that sure as hell isn’t healthy for me.  Not in the slightest.  Sometimes listening to other people can be a good thing, and it’s time that I start listening to my family and friends who actually give a damn about my well-being, telling me that this friendship and caring that I have for this man is not a good thing.  My closeness to him is detrimental to me.

So, my apologies that this is super ranty and rawr.  And that it’s a complete flip of yesterday’s blog.  And perhaps it’s even reminiscent of “old Tivi”, spilling tea all over the damn place… but I just… god damn, I’ve held back too much for too long.  And when you personally make a fool out of me by doing the same stupid shit when by now you should KNOW better… hell nah.  I’m done.

I’m out.  I’m not putting you back together when she does something else to ruin you.  Not my circus, not my monkeys.

AintAboutTheMoney1FINAL

*~* Blood Thicker Than The Champagne… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Default Lelutka Stella Head (Artic Tone) || Glam Affair (from Lelutka Head HUD)
Eyes: Deadshine Eyes (Wight; Verdant Pupil) || IKON || on sale through Oct 31st!
Hair: Strange and Unusual (Reds; bow tinted manually) || Exile || Collabor88
Head: Stella Head (v1.2) || Lelutka || **new update! 10/20/15**
* Allows for Expressions; 3 eye options, 4 eyebrow options, 7 mouth options
Body: Lara Mesh Body (v3.3) || Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) || Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Natural Rose Black || -{ZOZ}- || **new location! 10/22/15**
Eyeliner Applier: from Chrissy Skin Head Applier (Ivory tone) || Swallow
Lipstick Applier: Winterberries Lips || Zibska || Uber
Dress: Ribbons Undone Dress (Metallics) || Deche || not in store yet, but will be soon!
Boots: Adrianna Boots || Pure Poison || Collabor88
Septum Piercing: Dark Queen Septum Ring (P6) || RealEvil Industries || Seasons Story
Collar: Gothic Choker Victorian Collar (Black) || Zenith || Collabor88
Bracelets: Dark Queen Bracelets || RealEvil Industries || Seasons Story
Rings: Dark Queen Rings || RealEvil Industries || Seasons Story
Tattoo: Imperial Tattoo (Fresh) || Things
* Belleza/Omega/Slink/TMP appliers/standard tattoos included; fresh & faded versions

Pose (photo 1): Heavenly Creatures 09 || Ma Vie
Pose (photo 2): Eternal Beauty 6 || NanTra

Location: Fallen Ones Realm

Blogging Tune: Ain’t About the Money – Jussie Smollett & Yazz ft. Empire Cast

Posted in Uncategorized

I Can Hear The Battle Cry, At War With My Heart And Mind…

Even though all of my fears
And all of my doubts
Are outside my door, ready for war
Right here and now…

BattleCry1FINAL

“I refuse to lose this battle, let whatever come my way.  I am stronger than my rival.  No, I will not fall today.”

It never ceases to amaze me just how much some people will allow themselves to take.

Now, granted, I’m not exactly the poster child for standing up against the bullshit and fighting for what I know I deserve… *laughs*  Those that know me best will tell you that I stick around in bad situations far too long, particularly when it comes to personal, often romantic, relationships.  I guess I’ve been so violently conditioned that everything is my fault, that I simply assume what’s wrong with the relationship is something I can eventually fix, so I stick around trying to fix it.

But a one-sided relationship doesn’t survive very long.

However, one thing I will say for myself… is that I am beginning to /see/ these things when they are happening.  And I am gradually getting to the point where I am refusing to stand for it more often than not.  I am blaming myself less.  I am letting it go and letting it be what it is.  I am owning my portion of what went wrong, while still recognizing that it is not ALL me.  It is not MY fault that my last relationship did not know what he (she) wanted and ran off 2 days after I was released to hide on a slave alt and become collared to someone.  That is not my fault.  That is their own identification crisis that he (she) needs to workout for himself (herself).

((Edit 10/22/15: It’s been brought to my attention that my subject changed, per a usual Tivi, very abruptly and it may not have been noticeable.  The person ABOVE this statement is a different person than the one BELOW it.  Just offering clarity, to be fair to all parties involved.  And continuing to leave names out of it, for fairness as well.  ❤ Tivi ))

What kills me… is when people don’t see it.  When people remain how I used to be.  And they stick around.  Convinced it will get better.  Or they go back after they finally get out… convinced it will be different.  But I have news for you, love… if you keep doing the same things with the same person, you’re going to get the same result.  Nothing is going to change if the two of you don’t change, and if the relationship as a whole doesn’t change.  It’s going to end up the same way it has before.

And I can’t do a damn thing to stop it.  It’s not my relationship.  It’s not my place.

No matter how much I loved him at one time in my life.  No matter how much I care for him as a close friend and confidant (when he lets me… heh).  I can’t stop him from making the same dumbass mistakes with the same horrible human being.  Because ultimately they’re his decisions.  They’re his mistakes to make.  And if he wants to keep making them for the rest of his life and subjecting himself to that… then that’s his choice.

I can only be here to try and help put the pieces back together again when it inevitably blows up… again… like it always does.

To be honest, I really thought this time was the last time.  She did some incredibly horrible things.  Now granted, I thought she’d done some horrible things when he and I were together, after they’d broken up… sending people to harass him… verbally assaulting him on the daily.  Gradually just the assaulting and annoyance turned into outright verbal abuse, questioning his role in their relationship, his manhood, insulting everything that she could manage to find to tear him down.  But this last time, no this last time was the worst.  From what I understand, she outed him to several people.  And I won’t say what, specifically, else that makes me no better than she is, as there are several things it could be… however, I don’t know if I would be able to find it within myself to not only forgive and forget that someone did that to me… but take them back into my life as a “lover, partner, and best friend”.

But maybe that’s just me, and the level of self-respect that I’ve gained in my own growth.

All I know, is that the battle is beginning all over again, it seems.  And so I will stand in his corner, as I have always done.  And I will smile and nod and be happy for him if he is happy, as I have always done.  And when it inevitably falls apart again, I will be there as much as he allows, as I have always done.

And then a month or two later, the volatile cycle will repeat itself, I suppose.

I don’t think this battle will ever end.  He won’t let it.

BattleCry2FINAL

*~* I Can Hear The Battle Cry, At War With My Heart And Mind… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Default Lelutka Stella Head (Artic Tone) || Glam Affair (from Lelutka Head HUD)
Eyes: Deadshine Eyes (Wight; Verdant Pupil) || IKON || on sale through Oct 31st!
Hair: Hair For Headshawl (from Belly Dancer Mahtab) || Soedara
Head: Stella Head (v1.2) || Lelutka || **new update! 10/20/15**
* Allows for Expression in Photo 2; 3 eye options, 4 eyebrow options, 7 mouth options
Body: Lara Mesh Body (v3.3) || Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant 1) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) || Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Falling Leaves Fall French || -{ZOZ}-
Eyeliner Applier: Basic Eyeshadow Applier (Option 1; included w/ Head) || Lelutka
Lipstick Applier: Winterberries Lips || Zibska || Uber
Shawl: Pashmina || Ghee || L$1 Gift from Fall15 Collection!
Sweater: Cable Knit Turtleneck (Persimmon) || Ghee || new from Fall15 Collection!
* Standard/Slink/Maitreya/Omega Appliers; several collar variations
Jeans: Mia Jeans (Midnight) || Blueberry
* Standard/Slink/Maitreya/Freya/Venus/Isis sizes, Regular & Tucked in versions
Heels: Caty Wedges || KC Couture
* Slink High/Maitreya/Belleza/TMP versions
Nosechain: Faust Nose Chain (Gold) || Random.Matter || Uber
Bracelets: Dark Queen Bracelets (some parts hidden) || RealEvil Industries || Seasons Story

Pose (photo 1): Pose200 || -slouch-
Pose (photo 2): Pose136 || -slouch-

Blogging Tune: “Battle Cry” – Jussie Smollett ft. Empire Cast

Posted in Uncategorized

Well Let Me Introduce You To Grace…

There’s got to be more than going back and forth
From doing right to doing wrong
Cause we were taught that’s who we are…

Flawless2FINAL

“Come on, get in line right behind me.  You along with everybody thinking there’s worth in what you do.”

Yes, I had a bit of a “post-MVW” crisis… which is like a mid-life crisis, but for pixels… and changed a vast majority of my appearance.  I may keep it, cause I kinda like it.  But for now, it’s nice to feel like someone else.

This is my reflection.  So if you’re not in the mood for the feels and the emotions, I’m giving you a bit of warning to click away…

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Ok, now then.

My MVW journey ended yesterday.  Well, I guess technically it ended Saturday, as that was the last challenge I participated in.  However, the list of the Top 12 (turned Top 13, due to a tie) came out yesterday.  And my name, nor my country, were there.  And as such, my journey through the process ends.  Cut short.  I was… sort of… prepared for it to happen.  After all, we were told that the Top 12 would move on, which would mean that 21 of us would not.  All that changed was that 12 became 13 to be fair to the tie, so 21 became 20.  And my name was one of the 20.

I’m going to be completely honest throughout.  I’ve never been anything less than honest.  And in doing so, keep in mind this comes from an emotional place.  But I think that’s important too.  To come from that emotional place to provide the most honest, truthful reflection on my experience as possible.  Though why didn’t I write this last night?  There is a difference between writing from an emotional place and writing from a raw place.  I didn’t want to be raw here.  And I was last night.  Right now, I think I’m at that point where I’m still sad, but together enough to be honest, yet polite.

Not that I would’ve been a raging bitch last night.  *Laughs*  Just a bit less adept at saying what I wanted to say.

This experience was amazing.  And for 2013, 2014, and 2015 MVW, I got to sit on the sideline and watch beautiful women have this amazing journey and hear about how wonderful of a growth experience it was.  In 2013 when I was still brand spanking new, I thought they were full of shit.  LOL.  Like, how can a competition be THAT profound that you grow THAT much as a person by playing dress-up?  I was /so/ green back then, though.  2014, I got to see it a little closer, because I could follow from the beginning.  And I had a few people I could root for!  I remember during the last audition, the one time I got to walk, when I was so disappointed I didn’t make it (50 people walking for 5 spots, those odds were against me anyway… LOL) CottonCandy had told me it was her third year trying, and she’d finally gotten in.  So there was hope.

2015 I sat back and watched.  It was the first time MVW would be run under new ownership, and I wanted to see it in action first.  And I watched as Eleseren became Miss Virtual World and commenced one of THE most amazing reigns I think I’ve ever seen.  The thing about Eles is that… she won… but she never once ACTED like she won.  She remained humble throughout.  She was still ‘just one of us’.  And it was amazing to just talk to her, about anything and everything.  So much so, that I did so as often as I could.  Lol.

So this year rolled around and I was determined.  Damn determined.  And either my determination paid off, or I got extremely lucky, because I was granted a walk after the first headshot submission, and I got in from the first live audition.  I became Miss Virtual ♛ Iceland 2016.  Saying that even now is still really surreal.  I told the story of Why Iceland in a previous blog post, so I won’t reiterate that.  And I also told the story of the first serious conversation I had with Eles as a Miss about being looked at as a First Lady.

Damn if I didn’t try to put myself in that light EVERY time I said or did anything.  Did I slip occasionally?  Yeah.  We’re all human.  But I would say that at times when I spoke with poise and dignity, still using “please” most specifically, to request something of someone, when inside my mind was SCREAMING, “Oh my god, go fuck yourself,” I’d call that an improvement.  Lol.  I swallowed my tongue a few times and dialed back a lot.  And you know… I stressed a hell of a lot less that way.  So that’s something I definitely intend to continue with.  Even if I don’t have to police it as meticulously as I did throughout this process.

Then there were the challenges.  The thing about me that still haunts me… I was graduating one of the several classes I’ve taken over the years, and I was still wrapping my head around ‘designer inspiration’ type challenges, and just… completely missed the mark.  And the comment that was given to me was, “I can see that you’re a minimalist, but perhaps come out of that box once in awhile, honey.”  Me?  A minimalist?  Oh god.  That was an opinion I had to fix REAL fast.  Lol.  And from that point, I worked to push most any challenge that I was given, fitting the assigned theme, but I became a more ‘high fashion’ stylist in style challenges.  My blog may not reflect that 68% of the time (yes, a number I pulled out of my ass), but for styling challenges, that was my aim, always.

So when we were given challenges like our first… Lady Marmalade Meets Zumanity… my thought was not only how could I incorporate both… but how could I make those high fashion.  Same with The Fifth Element… which was the one challenge that made my standing in the competition a question mark to me the entire time.  The Fifth Element challenge was defined as Sci-Fi Haute Couture, and it was also Eles’ tribute challenge.  But when I showed up, in a mix and match inspired by the Fifth Element, Haute Couture, Jean Paul Gaultier, and Eles herself… to see a vast majority having gone straight sci-fi with it… I was so damn lost.  And I wasn’t sure if that was going to make me look wrong for my approach, or if it would make me stand out for incorporating every element of that challenge and not being ‘too busy’.  I wrestled mentally with that challenge from the day we walked it until yesterday when my name was not on that list.

And I still wonder if it was that challenge that did me in, and I just never managed to claw back from it.

I saw a lot of people yesterday who were a part of the 20 with me, who said that they weren’t sad when they didn’t see their name, and I’ve come to two conclusions about that.  Either 1.) They’re lying… which I don’t think the Misses would do.  Or 2.) They’re much stronger than I.  Number 2 is much more likely.  I will be the first to admit that I was sad.  Heartbroken, even.  It was like the wind was knocked out of me and the rug pulled out from under me.  I knew it was a possibility that my name wouldn’t be there, and the cynical part of my brain even kinda expected it to not be there.  But to actually READ the list.  To physically see it skip from India to Ireland and see that Iceland wasn’t there.  I’ve been hurt before by castings or auditions, but this was a different sort of hurt.  One I don’t think I can properly explain.

And just like that, it was over.  It felt like it was over before it really started.  The Press Presentation is scheduled after this cut… interviews… Charity Challenge hadn’t happened yet (I assume that’s still a challenge)… It almost didn’t feel like Miss Virtual World, as weird as that sounds.  It felt like… I don’t know.  A styling competition with elimination.  But I know it was Miss Virtual World, because that unique experience of developing that sisterhood with those women you’re competing alongside that never seems to happen in any other competition?  That happened.  I got to know some ladies I’d already known that much better, and meet new ones I’d never really gotten to meet before.

Maybe it’s just me that feels this weird sense of emptiness that comes from not getting to experience those things that I’d most looked forward to as a part of the MVW journey.  Charity Challenge (everyone expects me to do RFL, but I hadn’t planned on it… I had something else up my sleeve…), Interviews… working alongside designers for finale and watching that vision that’s in your head (you know I had a few!) come to life in front of you at the hands of some of the grid’s most amazing artists.  It’s so… weird… to sit here and hold this title and yet still not have gotten to experience those things.

Do I feel like I deserved to be on the list of the 13?  Yeah.  But I think somewhere, everyone who’s with the other 20 thinks that at some point.  Everyone worked hard.  Everyone put their all into it.  So I don’t think anyone is consciously sitting there right now going, “Well I didn’t try at all, so I really deserved to be eliminated.”  It’s a sense of protectiveness of our work as a stylist.  We each believed 100% in everything we put out there.  At least, I know I did.

It’s like dancing.  When you enter a competition, you put your 100% out there.  You put your actual heart and soul out there to be judged against others to pick a winner based around some meaningless set of criteria, including but not limited to whether or not you used spellcheck and proper grammar.  Like a double negative is suddenly going to change the heartbreak you were dancing about.  But we do it anyway, for whatever reason.  For me, the feedback pushes me to improve.

So at the end of this journey, do I feel fulfilled?  Not exactly.  But that’s not because the experience wasn’t amazing.  I feel empty because, in my mind and in my heart, this journey is only half over.  I just don’t get to participate in the rest.  *Chuckles*  But I will be there, for as much as I can, to watch those 13 chosen ladies work their asses off to finish even stronger than they started.

And you can bet you’ll see my face in the Headshot submissions next year.  I’m determined to finish what I started.

Flawless1FINAL

*~* Well Let Me Introduce You To Grace… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Katra (Polar Tone; Makeup Option 03) || Glam Affair
Eyes: Deadshine Eyes (Wight; Verdant Pupil) || IKON || on sale through Oct 31st!
Hair: Brenda (Redbrown) || Elua || Seasons Story
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Flat) || Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Natural Rose Black || -{ZOZ}-
Contour/Highlight: Contour Blush (Peach Mid) & Tintable Highlight || Dead Apples
Lipstick: Alyx Classic Lipstick (Ruby Red; Java version) || Pink Fuel
Scarf: Snood (Grey) || Drop || Seasons Story
* Male & Female versions included, both Rigged and Non-Rigged mesh
Jacket: Autumn Jacket (Grey) || Aphorism || Seasons Story
* Includes Texture pad to change the color of the sweater
Jeans: Mia (Grey) || Blueberry
* Standard/Slink/Maitreya/Freya/Venus/Isis sizes, Regular & Tucked In versions
Shoes: Malibu Lows (Floral; RARE) || Flite **Gacha **
Septum Piercing: Dark Queen Septum Ring (P6) || RealEvil Industries || Seasons Story
Rings: Dark Queen Rings || RealEvil Industries || Seasons Story
* Sold separately in versions for Slink Casual, Slink Elegant, and Maitreya/Belleza
Dog: Happy Puppies (Cream; Sweet Puppy) || Fawny ** Gacha ** || Seasons Story
* ‘Sweet Puppy’ is holdable; ‘Playful Puppy’ goes on head and covers your eyes

Pose: Teen 1 – Level 4 || Vitalis Animatum
* Dog adjusts position of the left arm into holding position

Location: Sunfall Landing

Blogging Tune: “Flawless” – MercyMe

Posted in Uncategorized

I Told You Time And Time Again…

I’m so ready for war
Got my soldiers and all
You should call on the Lord
Cause you’re taking the fall

Dynasty1FINAL

“We uncontrollable.  You tamer than a dog on leash.”

The third runway challenge for Miss Virtual World, fourth challenge overall, was this past Saturday.  And this song has been stuck in my head since the Empire episode it played on, on Wednesday.  I’d already mostly, if not completely, styled by then, but still for whatever reason this song served as my inspiration, and spoke perfectly to the attitude with which I styled.

Unfortunately, for me, this challenge was my last this year.  My journey has been cut short.  And yes, to me it feels like “cutting short”, but I’ll reflect on that, and everything else when it’s less raw.

The theme behind this runway challenge was “Fash and Furious”, based around the Fast and Furious series… HOWEVER, while we were asked to look to the series for inspiration, the briefing went DEEPER than that when our challenge was described to us.  We were told to “make being illegal look fashionable.”

That was the object.  The object was not to recreate the movie.  So I did not draw inspiration from particular characters, or a particular movie from the franchise.  Instead, I took my inspiration from the overall style briefing, the objective we were given, and the series as a whole.  With that, this is what I got.

My backstory for this particular challenge may have been a bit intense for some of the judges… but hey, it’s me.  Take it or leave it.  (For those who might be confused because of how broken up my backstory was for this challenge… not a long rambling paragraph about meaningless things that have nothing to do with the inspiration behind the outfit… everything from here to the end is the backstory that was read out on Saturday.  As I said earlier, I will blog at a later time about an overall reflection of my journey this year, at a time when the feeling is less heartbreaking and less raw.  Love you guys.)

“You don’t know me.  But you’re about to.”

There is nothing like the thrill of an adrenaline rush, no matter what it is that causes it.  Speed, tension, danger… anything that causes your blood to flow and your heart to race.  It makes you feel alive!  That is what Tivi screams when she takes this runway this morning… and it is a vital part of understanding who she is.

“Thrill me!” comes the cry of the bold red on black.

“Excite me!” call the spikes that litter the top and heels.

“To bore me is to lose me!” chime the chains across her shoulders.

Everything about her riddling a harmonious discord… a chaotic sort of stillness… a loud silence.

“I am a woman!  Not a fairytale princess!  I have emotions, opinions, a temper, a very loud voice, and one hell of a right hook!”  A smirk will pull across blood-stained lips.

“You don’t know me.  But you’re about to.”

Dynasty2FINAL

*~* I Told You Time And Time Again… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Yolandi (Artic Tone; Makeup Option 04) || Glam Affair
Body: Lara Mesh Body (v3.3) || Maitreya
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) || IKON
Hair: Airwaves II (light blondes) || Vanity Hair
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant 1) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) || Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Half Glitter Fall 2015 (Red) || -{ZOZ}- || from Rock Your Rack
Eyeliner: London Liner (Black Eyeliner Only) || Madrid Solo
Lipstick: Essential Lipsticks (Red; Matte; Dark) || Pink Fuel
Lip Shine: Grace Bonus Lip Gloss Only || Madrid Solo
Bustier: Rosalie (Black) || Maci || from Rock Your Rack
Jacket: Opium Jacket, Sleeves, & Skirt || Eshi Otawara
Pants: Abandon Pants (Grey) || Dead Dollz
Heels: Geeky Heels (w/ Color Hud) || Ducknipple
Back Pearl Necklace: Pearl Necklace (Back Only) || EMO-tions
Shoulder/Chest Chain: Scarlett Body Chain (Black) || Noodles
Forearm Cuffs: Yseult Cuffs || Zibska

Pose (photo 1): Runway I 6 – Level 4 || Vitalis Animatum
Pose (photo 2): Runway I 5 – Level 4 || Vitalis Animatum

Blogging Tune: “Dynasty” – Yazz & Timbaland ft. Empire Cast

Posted in Uncategorized

I Like To Believe You Are Thinking Of Me…

I know cause I’ve spent half this morning
Thinking about the t-shirt You sleep in
I should know cause I’d spend all the whole day
Listening to Your message I’m keeping
And never deleting

TeeShirt1FINAL

So, I’m a derp.

I went to put in an application to potentially blog for one of my favorite stores lately, and when one of the requirements stated that we must have blogged purchased items in the past, I went back looking for links like, “Yeah!  Let’s get one of these posts… oh wait…”

Reasons Why Tivi’s A Fail #1: I regularly buy things with the intention to blog them… and then never do.  They either get saved in an outfit to blog that never is, or they get lost in the black hole that is my inventory.

That said, I knew I had to put together a styling, if for no other reason than to show off the wonderful work of Pixicat.

You know I barely wear shoes unless I have to, but these Gladiator boots?!  LOVE!  And Danity Mynx, one of my fellow MVW Misses passed me this jacket a couple weeks ago, remembering we have roughly the same taste in clothing, and she was RIGHT!  I positively love it and how open it is, while still appropriately covering… places.

This is also a wonderful time to mention that I have a new sponsor to add to the mix… Hush Skins!  I went to the store the other day and picked up one of the newer skins.  I don’t think it’s the newest release, but it was too pretty, I couldn’t pass it up.  What better opportunity to showcase a different skin than this open jacket with short shorts, hmm?

Anyway, I’m a derp, and really need to sort my inventory… like that will ever successfully happen!

TeeShirt2FINAL

*~* I Like To Believe You Are Thinking Of Me… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Teagan (Sugar Tone; Makeup Option 1) || Hush Skins
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) || IKON
Hair: Fynn (Light Blondes; no headband) || TRUTH Hair
Body: Lara Mesh Body (v3.3) || Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Mid) || Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Falling Leaves French || ZOZ || Cosmopolitan
Jacket: Bastet Jacket (White) || Pixicat (Gacha item)
Shorts: Talking Body Shorts || LaVian&Co
Boots: Gladiator Shoes (White) || Pixicat
Earrings & Ring: Kirenna Teardrop Pearl || Maxi Gossamer
Necklace: Dream Orb (Long) || Maxi Gossamer
Bracelet: Eva Luxury Bracelet || Lazuri

Pose (photo 1): Equilibrium 01 || Ma Vie
Pose (photo 2): Phenomena 04 || Ma Vie

Location: Private sim

Blogging Tune: “Tee Shirt” – Birdy

Posted in Uncategorized

Find Light In the Beautiful Sea…

You’re a shooting star, I see
A vision of ecstasy
When you hold me, I’m alive
We’re like Diamonds in the sky

Diamonds2FINAL

“I knew that we’d become one right away.”

Alright.  If you know me, you know I don’t do pomp and circumstance too often.  I’m an agoraphobic in RL, I don’t like situations I can’t easily escape, and with my anxiety I am constantly thinking about everything that can go wrong and every situation I cannot escape from.  I don’t like large crowds.  I’m that person that sits in the corner of the restaurant with my back to a wall so I can see and analyze everything that’s going on.

That is my life.

However, today I did something in SL that was entirely different for me… and I had the time of my life.  Eleseren Brianna, the reigning Miss Virtual World 2015 organized, along with the wonderful staff of The Rose Theater Ballroom, a ball in honor of the 2016 MVW Misses.  We got to dress up in gowns and jewels, put men into suits (or women into gowns) and drag them along, and just have fun and actually breathe and allow it to register… we are Misses.

It was a large crowd.  A very large crowd.  I believe the sim crashed once.  Individuals were crashing left and right.  The lag was present and everyone was dealing with it.  But between the gorgeous voice of Lisa Bruun and the DJ skills of Mex Thorn, three hours came and went rather quickly.

And Chimera, who graciously donned a suit and agreed to accompany me, proceeded to thoroughly embarrass me (in a good way?) by having Mex play a song for me in front of a sim full of people.  I had to re-teach myself to breathe, but I don’t think he noticed.  *Grins*

All in all, I had so much fun.  It was nice to just sort of let being here at this point in my journey truly sink in.  A goal of 3 years has been realized, and it is everything I thought it would be and more.  It’s pushed me, challenged me, and made me grow as a model, a stylist, and a person.  I adore it, and I thoroughly look forward to the next few challenges.

Basically, I had a great time, I got to look pretty, and I got to dance with someone who was pretty amazing, and listen to him sing in my ear.

Diamonds1FINAL

*~* Find Light In The Beautiful Sea… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Yolandi (Artic Tone; Makeup Option 04) || Glam Affair
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) || IKON
Hair: Alice (Light Blondes) || enVOGUE
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) || Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Falling Leaves French (Option 6) || ZOZ || Cosmopolitan
Eyeliner: U-Color-It Bold Liner (Thin Set; Manually tinted to match) || Madrid Solo
Gown: Tomoe-San (Blue) || Junbug
Crown: Official Crown MISS VIRTUAL WORLD ICELAND || Made by Delypop Cresci
Jewelry Set: Ursula Jewelry Set (Manually Tinted) || Virtual Impressions

Pose: Pure Gold 4 || PosESioN

Location: The Rose Theatre Ballroom

Blogging Tune: “Diamonds” – Rihanna

Posted in Uncategorized

My Memory Lacks Initiative…

Yeah, so I’m already dead on the inside
But I can still pretend with my memories and photographs
I have learned to love the lie

LGFUAD2FINAL

Ok, so the lyrics of this song sound incredibly depressing… but the upbeat nature of it and some of the random things they say make me giggle.  So… bear with me.  This is my mood on blog post #3 of the day.

You’ll have to forgive me for being the largest blogger hypocrite ever today… when I made post #1 today and mentioned I didn’t understand how some people could do multiple posts in a day (except for those who sacrifice photo quality), I was kinda intrigued and inspired to try it myself.

I hate it.  I’ll be lucky if I can sit down and do one per day.  Let alone multiple per day, several days in a row.

I just feel like I got NOTHING else done today.  Granted, I’ve been awake since 7pm my time yesterday, so the longer I go, the more I slow down with exhaustion.  But seriously.  I’ve pretty much been standing in my dance pit tabbed into Photoshop, or writing, or looking up SLURLs, or tp’ing to MIC to take pictures, or tp’ing to an event to figure out more information about it… I couldn’t imaging allowing this to consume my entire SL.

There’s so much else that I enjoy doing, I couldn’t sit here all day every day just blogging.  I can do it for short periods of time, like now, to catch up on how far behind I am on everything, post-wise… but I don’t think I could do it regularly.

I’d never get anything else done.

LGFUAD3FINAL

This is the part where some of you tell me, “Well Tivi if you didn’t yammer on every time you blog, then maybe it wouldn’t take you so long to post the shit and you could get multiple posts done in a day AND do other things.”  But that’s just it…

a website containing a writer’s or group of writers’ own experiences,observations, opinions, etc., and often having images and links to other websites.” — Dictionary.Com

From what I read… the very definition of a blog includes writing.  This has been one of my pet peeves for awhile.  People who literally post nothing but a picture or two… on a white background, no less… and then style credits.  And usually incomplete style credits – another pet peeve I can rant about later.  Like… where is the creativity in that?  Where is the originality in that?  Where is the art in that?

Where is the BLOGGING in a blog like that?

There is someone I know, and I don’t want to use her name just in case people misunderstand and think I’m talking about her negatively (I’m NOT… I love her to death and wish more people would follow her example).  She keeps a blog, on a blogging website… but then she does additional pictures that are not blogged and keeps them solely on her Flickr.  She doesn’t call them her ‘blog’ and her ‘Flickr blog’.  She calls them her ‘blog’ and her ‘photo journal’.  THAT, to me, is accurate.

Much like events are cropping up all over the place and coming out of the woodwork, bloggers seem to be coming out of nowhere as well.  Everyone who can operate the SL camera and start a WordPress or Blogger site and post pictures and sometimes credits is trying to call themselves a blogger now and it’s just… frustrating.

What happened to the days when bloggers actually… you know… BLOGGED?

LGFUAD1FINAL

*~* My Memory Lacks Initiative… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Yolandi (Artic Tone; Makeup 04) || Glam Affair || Summerfest (til July 12th)
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) || IKON
Hair: The Italian Job (Blondes) || Vanity Hair
Ears: Steking Ears (Season 5; set to Elf) || Mandala
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Mid) || Slink
Nails (hands): Mesh Nails (Slink Elegant) || ZOZ
Nailpolish (hands): Wild Summer 2015 Polish || ZOZ || FashionTropic (opens July 7th)
* Must have ZOZ Mesh Nails for this polish
Nailpolish (feet): Tropical Nails || MUA || FashionTropic (opens July 7th)
Eyeliner: U-Color-It Bold Liner (Thin Set) || Madrid Solo
Outfit: Fleur (Etre Aux Anges Collection) || Lyrical Bizarre
* Includes Corset, Panties, Pearls, Collar, Garter, & Back Piece (called ‘chest piece’)
Jewelry: Hibiscas Falls || Moondance Boutique || FashionTropic (opens July 7th)

Pose (photo 1): Phenomena 04 || Ma Vie
Pose (feature/photo 2): Star 04 || Ma Vie
Pose (photo 3): Revealed 02 || Ma Vie

Location: MIC Imagin@rium

Blogging Tune: “LG FUAD” – Motion City Soundtrack

Posted in Uncategorized

I Want To See What You’re Willing To Lose…

Where are You taking me?
I can’t be blamed
I want You to want me again

Desire1FINAL

I have an insane attention to detail 98% of the time, and so I find myself gravitating towards the ring in this picture.  When I was messing with windlight settings for this picture, something seemed off.  Now granted, I’m not used to my hands being all ‘in your face’ in poses, but I wanted to show the jewelry and the nails, so I knew this would be a better pose to try.  However, I noticed when I turned full bright off on the jewelry, it stayed on in the ring.  For those who normally turn full bright on on their jewelry to avoid it dulling in darker windlights, then this will be no problem for you at all.  For those who keep it off, this may present an issue, but the designer is said to have an open door policy for those who may have experienced problems.  I have no doubt she would be willing to aid you, if you find yourself in need of a solution to this problem.

Also, I’m making myself out to be a hypocrite with my last post of, “I don’t understand how people can crank out several posts in a day.”  Though to be fair, I already had this outfit styled.  I was wearing it WHILE writing my last post… because that last outfit was what I’d been wearing for, like, 4 days, before I finally took the pictures 2 days ago and edited them last night.

And also… again… this is my first time experimenting with mesh nails that go on Slink hands.  The good thing about ZOZ is that she makes everything pretty simple to do, even for someone like me who’s never done it before.  She’s got the instructions broken down into individual notecards that are numbered in the order you should follow the steps.  That’s good for people like me who have the tendency to skim when I understand PART of the process but not ALL of it… and then I end up missing an important step and screwing something up.  With ZOZ’s system, I can read the titles of the notecards and either read the step or skip it, depending on if I already know how to do that particular part of the process.

It’s a lot easier than I’m making it sound.  It literally took me 30 seconds.  Lol.

Desire3FINAL

Also, how CUTE is this purse?!  Each color (yellow, orange, green) default attaches to your hand, but I was totally inspired by the ad photo that features the model holding one in her mouth to re-attach mine and adjust it to match.  These are the things that amuse me at 8 in the morning.  Lol.

I feel like lately most of my outfits are mix and matches of not only designers, but events.  There are SO many events going on right now, and going on all the time anymore, that I rarely find myself in a designer’s mainstore anymore.  I just wait for them to come to events.  The only time I’m in the mainstores would be, like, if they were at an event that I missed, and I want to see if they brought their release back to the store.

I’m still trying to figure out if this is a good thing or a bad thing, from a marketing standpoint.

Oh!  Also!  The jewelry set that features the necklace and ring that you can see also has matching earrings that you cannot see with my mass of hair.  Basically they are studs that match the gemstone in the center of the flower, a couple linked rings to make one of the plumeria flowers dangle.  They are super cute and simple, but do require some editing to get them to match, as they are initially at entirely different rotations when you put them on.  All together, it makes a nice set that offers color change options on the gemstones, plumeria flowers, metal, and pendant on the necklace.  The butterflies (the yellow and white pieces) are not color change.

I am positively IN LOVE with these sandals from Pure Poison that I found at Uber.  I thought I was going to have to choose between the colors, which at the time I was styling something completely different and didn’t know quite what color to go with.  But when I clicked on the circle to buy the color I finally chose, much to my surprise, it was one price for a pack that contains 6 different colors – Black, Brown, Rainbow (named “Colors” in the pack), Pink, Teal (the one I’m wearing), and Green (named “Vert” in the pack).

Overall, I’m just super obsessed with these ZOZ nails, and can’t stop staring at them.  It takes a lot to get me away from Nailed It, Giela Delpaso’s brand… as she has been such a super sweet sponsor of my blog for a long time.  But lately, I find now that I bounce back and forth between Nailed It and ZOZ, and now I’ve discovered Figure.  3 wonderfully talented designers to diversify my nail collection.

Probably the best three I’ve seen in SL to-date.

Desire2FINAL

*~* I Want To See What You’re Willing To Lose… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Yolandi (Artic Tone; Makeup 04) || Glam Affair || Summerfest (til July 12th)
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) || IKON
Hair: Lessons (Hud 01) || Magika Hair
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Mid) || Slink
Nails (hands): Mesh Nails (Slink Elegant) || ZOZ
Nailpolish (hands): Wild Summer 2015 Polish || ZOZ || FashionTropic (opens July 7th)
* Must have ZOZ Mesh Nails for this polish
Nailpolish (toes): Tropical Nails || MUA || FashionTropic (opens July 7th)
Eyeliner: U-Color-It Bold Liner (Thin Set) || Madrid Solo
Dress: Fiona Dress (Blue) || Heydra
Heels: Katarina Sandals (Teal) || Pure Poison || Uber
* Versions for Slink Mid and Maitreya Medium included
Purse (photo 2): Slice Purse 2 || Lyrical Bizarre || FashionTropic (opens July 7th)
Jewelry Set: Plumeria Bloom || Moondance Boutique || FashionTropic (opens July 7th)

Pose (feature/photo 1): Jewel 01 || Ma Vie
Pose (photo 2): La Vampira 08 m || Ma Vie
Pose (photo 3): Becoming 01 || Ma Vie

Location: MIC Imagin@rium

Blogging Tune: “Desire” – Years & Years