Come on little lady, give Us a smile
No, i ain’t got nothin to smile about
i got no one to smile for, i waited awhile for
A moment to say, “i don’t owe You a goddamn thing!”
This is another one of those days where the lyrics to the song speak more than i do…. and so i’m just going to let them do that.
Continue reading “Confession .279. I’m Tired And Angry, But Somebody Should Be…”
You like broken girls cause they make You feel put together
Broken girls, rip it open then You kiss it better…
It’s been awhile. Damn near a month. And i apologize for that. If Y/you read my last post, Y/you know that i posted that literally the day after i got home from the hospital. i wasn’t ready to share all of that with E/everyone, really, but unfortunately, a poorly-managed situation in my home Community in which my personal business was being spread around carelessly made it such that if i didn’t tell the rest of my own story it likely would’ve morphed beyond recognition by the time i was ready to speak about it.
Unfortunately, that means that i kinda had to force myself to be more raw than i was ready to be, and it took away every desire i had to write anything else for awhile. Again, my apologies. Especially to those Designers who entrust me with showcasing their designs. i’m playing catch up, and i thank you in advance for Y/your understanding. ♥
Continue reading “Confession .275. Dig Up All The Ugly Shit, Then You Offer Up Your Remedy…”
i need Somebody to heal, Somebody to know
Somebody to have, Somebody to hold
It’s easy to say, but it’s never the same
i guess i kinda liked the way You numbed all the pain…
i feel like lately my reaction to everything is that i don’t really have words. And then yet my instinct when these things happen, is to blog. i’m a bit of a purist and believe that blogging also involved writing, but lately i find that my negative emotions are more aptly sated by the creativity of the photo, and by the time i come here to write i’m just… drained.
Continue reading “Confession .266. I Was Getting Kinda Used To Being Someone You Loved…”
So let me just give up, let me just let go
If this isn’t good for me, well, i don’t wanna know
Let me just stop trying, let me just stop fighting
i don’t need Your good advice or reasons why i’m alright
You don’t know what it’s like…
Hopelessness is a feeling with unfathomable depth. Each time Y/you think Y/you’ve hit rock bottom with it, S/someone or something else can push Y/you just a little bit deeper. Let Y/you sink just a little bit further down… and at some point i worry that i won’t have enough oxygen left to swim to the surface. It’s a dangerous game of chicken to play, and eventually, S/someone’s going to lose.
Continue reading “Confession .265. You Don’t Know What It’s Like…”
One less spark from a flame
One more heart beat away
i think i lost Your scent after the rain
i’ll find You when O/our paths cross by the gold mines…
i’m not used to not getting what i want in dance. And as self-centered as that sounds – let me explain. i’m not used to competing, as i don’t do so very often anymore. Most of the time, i’m performing in a theater with a group of like-minded P/people, just for fun and the love of dance (and sure, the tips don’t hurt). It’s not often i put myself out there to be judged anymore… and yesterday reminded me why.
Continue reading “Confession .263. Breathing Half A Breath Since You’re Away…”
Can we pretend that i’m twenty-two today
Dancing on the tables with you
Can we pretend that we all end up ok
i just want to forget with you…
i’ve been avoiding talking about Azuri – like i said before. And after attending her memorial today on her sim (a beautiful gathering, by the way), i think i might be somewhat able to try and express myself. If Y/you were at the memorial and Y/you’re reading this, Y/you’ll see a lot of what i said, along with some things i meant to say peppered in.
Continue reading “Confession .262. Can We Pretend?”
Our chemistry’s irrefutable
And i’ll love You til You die…
i’ll come to Your funeral
But i won’t promise to cry…
i’m avoiding talking about Azuri. Hate me for it if Y/you want to, but i will talk about it when i’m ready – and i’m just not quite ready yet.
Continue reading “Confession .261. Trust Me When I Tell You Not To Touch Me…”