Posted in Life

Confession .321. Tell All The Stories That I Didn’t Want Told…

i’m trying my best, i’m trying my best to be okay
i’m trying my best, but every day it’s so hard
And i’m holding my breath, i’m holding my breath ’til i can say
All of the words i wanna say from my heart…

Confession .321.  Tell All The Stories That I Didn't Want Told...

Today’s post is part 2 of this series giving you a bit more insight about me. A lot of the stuff i’m going to talk about today have to do with mental health and other similar themes, so if you are sensitive to those, please make sure you’re prepared before reading further. i feel like i’ve talked a lot about some of this stuff, but, again, i’m motivated to share these things with you because there is a particular group of P/people who see fit to judge me without coming to ME and talking to ME about ME.

Continue reading “Confession .321. Tell All The Stories That I Didn’t Want Told…”

Posted in Dubai Event, Events, Kinky Event, Life, New Releases, Uber

Confession .269. For A Chance To Start Over And Rewrite An Ending Or Two For The Girl That I Knew…

Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a Man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck…
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day, til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine…

https://www.flickr.com/photos/riki-tiki-tivi/48670134282/in/dateposted-public/

Finally back to myself a bit after an unexpected 5-day stint in the hospital, followed by some intense antibiotics at home.  i’m sorry it’s been awhile, but i’m going to work to play a bit of catch-up now that i can function even with the side effects.  (i’ll take dizziness and nausea from oral antibiotics over having to stay in the hospital on IV stuff, tbh.)

Before anyone asks, yes, this is on my list of things to dance eventually.  Lol.  Y/you already knew.  i wasn’t trying to get in my feelings with this song tonight – really, i wasn’t.  You can tell from the way the photo was uh… well, look it’s kinky as fuck.  Lol.  But then this song happened…

Continue reading “Confession .269. For A Chance To Start Over And Rewrite An Ending Or Two For The Girl That I Knew…”

Posted in Life, New Releases

Confession .267. Everything Is Temporary, Everything Will Slide…

Seasons, they will change, Life will make You grow
Death can make You hard, hard, hard
Everything is temporary, everything will slide
Love will never die, die, die…

Confession .267.  Everything Is Temporary, Everything Will Slide...

i try not to blog on this day each year.  August 1st is hard for me, but given that it’s 11:47pm, at night, about to become August 2nd, i think i can still get away with it before i go to sleep.

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Posted in Collabor88, Events, Life, New Releases

Confession .246. And You Left Me…

Standing on the corner crying, feeling like a fool for trying
i don’t even remember why i wasted all these tears on You
i wish i could erase O/our memory cause You didn’t give a damn about me
Oh, i’m finally through wasting all these tears on You

Confession .246.  And You Left Me...

The other day, Someone from my past popped back up in my life very unexpectedly.  And like… as much as i want to altruistically believe in harmless intentions for P/people, this seems to be what bites me in the ass more times than not.  There’s just no way that it was all a coincidence.  Malicious or not, it was still purposeful.  And it’s really gotten me back inside my head a bit further than i like to be.  Let me explain…

Continue reading “Confession .246. And You Left Me…”

Posted in Cupid Inc, Events, Life, New Releases, Tres Chic

Confession .242. Make Your Tragedies A Work Of Art…

Can you medicate a broken heart?
Make your tragedies a work of art
Medicate a broken heart
Build your walls up just to rip them apart
Is this the way to fix this or is this a quick fix?
i really couldn’t say
Can you medicate, medicate, medicate it away?

Confession .242.  Make Your Tragedies A Work Of Art...

i’m going to need some of my favorite female live singers to learn this song ASAP.  Gabbie killed it again… and she brought about a HUGELY relevant topic at the moment to me… so that’s what i’m going to talk about.

Continue reading “Confession .242. Make Your Tragedies A Work Of Art…”

Posted in Collabor88, Cupid Inc, Events, Life, New Releases

Confession .241. Are We Holding The Promise Yet To Come?

Here we stand at the Genesis
As the world is awakening
A new day will start again
Here we stand at the Genesis…

Confession .241.  Are We Holding The Promise Yet To Come?

As you may or may not be aware, February 1st, 2019 is National Wear Red Day, as a part of the Go Red For Women campaign supported by the American Heart Association.  Heart Disease is the number 1 killer of Women, and today i’m going to talk a little bit about it, and the Go Red For Women Movement.  If this isn’t your thing, then feel free to scroll down to the credits and i’ll see you next time.  ♥

Continue reading “Confession .241. Are We Holding The Promise Yet To Come?”

Posted in Dubai Event, Events, Life, New Releases, Uber

Confession .222. I Could Lie And Say I Like It Like That…

Don’t You know i’m no good for You?
i’ve learned to lose, You can’t afford to…
Tore my shirt to stop You bleeding
But nothing ever stops You leaving…

Confession .222.  I Could Like And Say I Like It Like That...

i don’t have the energy to sustain one-sided friendships, relationships, or anything-ships really.  i spent too much of my life doing this because i had myself convinced that if i just worked a little bit harder to prove that i was good enough, i could have something great with this person.  A great friend.  A great lover.  A great Dominant.  A great whatever.  But unfortunately i constantly learn the hard way that no matter how hard you work – with some people, you’re never going to get anything back.

That doesn’t stop me from regularly making a dumbass out of myself, however.

Continue reading “Confession .222. I Could Lie And Say I Like It Like That…”

Posted in Events, Kinky Event, Life, New Releases, Vanity Event

Confession .220. I Can’t Swim The Ocean Like This Forever, And I Can’t Breathe…

So pull me up from down below
Cause i’m underneath the undertow
Come dry me off and hold me close
i need You now, i need You most

Confession .220.  I Can't Swim The Ocean Like This Forever, And I Can't Breathe...

So… Avril Lavigne released new music.  That was a thing that happened in the last couple of weeks.  After HOW many years?  Right, let’s all revel in that for a moment… especially since this song is… amazing.

W/we’re not going to mention how much i relate to these lyrics right now… nope… nope…

Continue reading “Confession .220. I Can’t Swim The Ocean Like This Forever, And I Can’t Breathe…”

Posted in Collabor88, Events, Life, New Releases, Writing Assignments

Confession .219. And They’re Marching In…

Even though all of my fears
And all of my doubts
Are outside my door, ready for war
Right here and now…

Confession .219.  And They're Marching In...

As a part of my training in the D/s sim i consider my home Community, i’ve been picking up journaling again.  In the past, i didn’t find it effective – which is probably ironic, given that i’ve been writing here in this blog for five years with each post, so clearly there’s something to be said for the therapeutic quality of stream-of-consciousness type writing – but with the way it’s been panning out for the last couple of weeks, it’s been helpful, giving me a place to just… be… and write down my thoughts, unfiltered.

i want to share with Y/you all today a portion of my journal entry from yesterday… Some of you might be able to guess what sparked this particular line of thought – though i’m not going to mention it or talk about it specifically here.  It simply served as inspiration, and the last thing i want to do is come across as ‘salty’ or ‘bitter’ about it.  ♥

Continue reading “Confession .219. And They’re Marching In…”

Posted in Events, FaMeshed, Hair Fair 2018, Life, New Releases, Poetry, Uber

Confession .215. I’m Laying In The Shirt You Used To Like…

Is she the one that I couldn’t be for You?
Is she the one?
Mm, I hate that You’re the one that I never get over
That I wanna get closer to…

Confession .215.  I'm Laying In The Shirt You Used To Like...

Today I want to share another one of my poems from the Beyond the Rainbow event that was hosted by Beta Omega Iota back on September 22nd.  The event was LGBT-focused, and so I began with my story of my sexuality in mind when I started writing and… well… you can see the turn it took…

Continue reading “Confession .215. I’m Laying In The Shirt You Used To Like…”