The reminders pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need
And you’re angry… and you should be… it’s not fair
Just cause you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there…
I was more than a little bit terrified when I started getting wind of a new Linkin Park album.
Like… I grew up with Linkin Park… and they were kind of the misfit’s anthem of my generation – at least in the part of the midwest I was in… maybe in more musically-diverse areas of the country and of the world, you had a different band that was this for you… but, like… I couldn’t wrap my head around being now 27 years old and going back to listening to this band from my childhood/early-adolescence.
And then I heard “Heavy” for the first time. And that song played on repeat for DAYS… Linkin Park had managed to write my anthem all over again… so of course, I started poking around at other songs from the album.
That’s when I found this one…
Continue reading “Confession .94. Who Cares If One More Light Goes Out? I Do…”
I was choking in the crowd, building my rain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, Limited… til it broke open and rained down
It rained down like…
I’ve bitten my tongue far too hard for far too long. And tonight, I attempted to warn someone who was in a position to DO something about this particular individual, in terms of giving them access to a hunting ground of people to prey upon… and they did nothing.
So instead… here is my letter to the Predator’s current flavor of the week… and any who may come after her…
Continue reading “Confession .88. My Life, My Love, My Drive, It Came From… Pain!”
Her shroud was loneliness
Her God was listening
Her heaven will be a love without betrayal…
I wish I could say that I’m surprised.
I wish I could say that I’m surprised to hear that You likely cheated while we were together. You know, while we were ‘living the dream’… and pursuing the things we both supposedly wanted?
But I’m really not that surprised.
Continue reading “Confession .78. Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Sidechicks”
No Masters or Kings
When the Ritual begins
There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin…
So, I found this cover today. Ellie Goulding’s voice and this song? *Swoons*
Anyway… sorry… where was I? Oh yeah! Cute things and black-and-white goodness!
I mentioned in my last post that Astralia was one of my newest sponsors. In my small hiatus, I gained a few amazing sponsors that have trusted their creations to me, and I couldn’t be more grateful. In this post, I’ll be introducing a few more of those to you: Kenny Rolands, Glamistry, and Facade.
Continue reading “Confession .71. She’s The Last True Mouthpiece”
You’ll never face a judge without me
You’ll never battle the gavel alone
And if they lock us away then I’ll still be here
Proudly waiting to kill more time, with You…
It’s Midnight Madness time!
And I’m super happy to show you one of my newest sponsors, Astralia, who is participating!
Astralia is a designer I’ve admired since she started designing. The boldness and softness of her textures, depending on her color scheme, and the detailing in her designs were some of the first things I noticed, and the things I’ve grown to love about her.
Continue reading “Confession .70. Be My Accomplice To My Crime”
If I had a highway, I would run for the hills
If You could find a dry way, I’d forever be still…
Sorry. I’m here. I promise.
I’ve even gained several new amazing sponsors that I should be posting more often. My inspiration just kind of… died there for awhile. It’s slowly returning, and so I’m going to be trying to wade gently through the boxes of things that I’ve gotten and work my way through this backlog.
Continue reading “Confession .68. And If You Say Something That You Might Even Mean, It’s Hard To Even Fathom Which Parts I Should Believe”
Touch me and then turn away
And put your hands into the flame
Tell me if you feel this pain
Cause I don’t want to be a ball and chain, no…
n. the moment of realization that your quintessential future self isn’t ever going to show up, which forces the role to fall upon the understudy, the gawky kid for whom nothing is easy, who spent years mouthing their lines in the wings before being shoved into the glare of your life, which is already well into its second act.
Have you ever had one of those moments where shows like Big Bang Theory make you wonder if, at any moment in your life, your future self will randomly show up in your living room because time travel has been invented in the future and you’re about to make a really stupid mistake?
Granted, I’m not sure what kind of mistake you’d be making in your living room alone on a Saturday night… but bear with me.
Continue reading “Confession .60. The Meantime”
If I told You this was only gonna hurt
If I warned You that the fire’s gonna burn
Would You walk in? Would You let me do it first?
Do it all in the name of love…
So, in typical Tivi fashion… I am only useful to a friend of mine months after she needs it. *Laughs*
I’m going to tell you the story of how I met Master… because it kinda makes me giggle… and because as we go into 2017, rather than focusing on all of the shit that’s happened in 2016, I’d like to focus a bit on what made the end of my 2016 bearable.
And that’s two particular people in my life: Master, and Nova.
Some time ago, Nova was writing an article for an SL publication that I won’t name… cause I don’t feel like advertising them. *Laughs* Those of you that are Facebook friends with us both might know the mag I’m talking about, because Nova put out on her Facebook looking for success stories from people who had met their significant others on AvMatch. Yes, AvMatch is exactly what it sounds like… the eHarmony/Match.Com of Second Life.
Continue reading “Confession .58. Would You Fall In The Name Of Love?”
So I’ll get the lights, and You lock the doors
We ain’t leaving this room til we both feel more
Don’t walk away, don’t roll Your eyes
They say love is pain.
Well, darling, let’s hurt tonight…
This isn’t exactly the most festive of outfits. My apologies for that. I did get the gorgeous bracelets/armlets/rings featured above in a blogger pack from Promagic, so I wanted something I could pair with them. However, I’m just not exactly in the most festive mood today.
For the better part of several months now, I’ve been on this emotional rollercoaster with my RL family. My step-dad has been in pain. He has a bad back… so at first we thought nothing of it. But then it didn’t go away. He started getting sick… and his symptoms manifested like gallbladder symptoms, so we still didn’t worry too much. He just needs a HIDA scan and to probably schedule gallbladder surgery. No biggie. We’ve had a surgeon down here do mine… but then all the tests started coming back negative and normal. Then the doctor refused to run more tests and just wanted to ‘wait until his regular six month check-up’. Meanwhile my step-dad was still in unmanaged pain. So clearly this wasn’t acceptable. He was taken to the ER, and was sent home with information about Pancreatic Cancer. My mother fell apart. His daughters fell apart. His sisters fell apart. He was sent to see a GI Specialist who ordered a biopsy, and it came back negative… no cancer. But he didn’t trust it. So he ordered another one, and sent my step-dad to see a Pancreatic specialist. That specialist read the biopsy the same way… no cancer. But there’s an autoimmune disease that mimicks Pancreatic Cancer symptoms. Said he would run those tests. Those came back negative. Instead, they found Lymphoma. Sent my step-dad to an Oncologist. Oncologist says the sample isn’t good enough for him to confirm the diagnosis, or tell us what type of Lymphoma, or stage it. Needs a PET scan and to consult with the Tumor Board. PET scan comes back negative, thank god. So the cancer (if it’s cancer) has not spread. Oncologist warns that if the Tumor Board needs more tissue, the only way is to get it laproscopically. Promised he would call Thursday after the meeting.
The doctor called this afternoon. (You’re seeing this Friday, but I’m writing it Thursday.)
Continue reading “Confession .53. I Told Myself This Could Be Rough…”
See, I need You, and baby I need to
Let down my guard and give You my scars…
Open up my heart.
We could be stars.
She looked without looking for quite some time. She hoped without hoping. She tried not to get her hopes up, but those that knew her best often heard the tears that broke her voice if they knew how to listen. Those that knew her best knew the way others took advantage of her weakened state. They saw how people would stroll in and stroll out just as quickly.
They watched. They lent shoulders. They offered baseball bats to the kneecaps. But the pattern didn’t really change. The pattern would never change, not as long as there continued to be assholes in the world.
Continue reading “Confession .47. I’ve Wanted You Here All Along, But My Fear Just Keeps Haunting Me…”