Confession .132. Too Hard To Breathe, I’m On My Knees Right Now…

I’m so sick of that same old love
That shit, it tears me up
I’m so sick of that same old love
My body’s had enough…

For a long time, both in my SL and my RL I’ve tried to figure out this delicate balance between how I feel as a submissive, and how I feel as a ‘hopeless romantic’ in a more vanilla sense.  And let me tell you, it’s not exactly the easiest balance to find.

Today, you’re going to get some ramblings from my brain about romanticism and M/s relationships.

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Confession .131. It Feel Like My Life Ain’t Mine…

It’s the very first breath when your head’s been drowning underwater
It’s the lightness in the air when you’re there chest to chest with a lover
It’s holding on, though the road’s long
Seeing light in the darkest things
And when you stare at your reflection, finally knowing who it is
I know that you’ll thank God you did…

If you were on my Facebook this morning, you know exactly what I’m going to talk about in this post.  If you were not on my Facebook this morning, then please know that this post will contain a narrative that may or may not be triggering to those with anxieties and sensitivities to certain subject matters, including but not limited to suicide.

Thank you for heeding this warning.  If you don’t continue reading, to avoid the triggering subject, I understand, and I’ll see you next time.  ♥  If you continue… let’s talk about my sister’s father-in-law…

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Confession .130. If You Didn’t Know, I Fight Like A Girl…

I got a lot to say
No time to play
Ay, I’m comin’ for ya…

“You teach people how to treat you.”

This commentary came up in a group discussion tonight.  It wasn’t something I’ve thought about in a long time, but I thought about it a lot tonight.  It came from such a simple question as to how to move on after a break up or a bad relationship, but the conversation evolved to this.

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Confession .129. Low On Self-Esteem, So You Run On Gasoline…

Are you deranged like me?  Are you strange like me?
Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?
Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?
Pointing fingers cause you’ll never take the blame like me?

“Are you insane like me?  Been in pain like me?”

I just love how… harsh and raw this song is.  I’m pretty sure I’ve blogged it, like, 600 times, but it’s in my head lately because I’m pretty sure I’m going to dance it this weekend at the invitational Display of Riches in Teehra, so I’m trying to work it out.  It’s just kinda short… so some… finagling…

Sorry.  I might’ve gotten lost in music land for a bit.

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Confession .124. Tried To Shake Your Indifference, But It’s Too Late Now…

Say what You mean out loud
Drowning in silence when I’m lost in the crowd
Cause every sweet thing You’d never speak
It’s deafening
Never knowing what could be
Wish I could show You how…
But You’re just a ghost now

This song… has had me fucked up for days.  Days.  So… now I’m gonna earworm it to all of you.  You’re welcome.

Also… I went through hell to get this particular set of pictures, so I really hope you enjoy them… like, I logged in naked at a safe hub at one point, so y’all better like them.  Lol.

Anyway… on to why this song has me so fucked up lately.

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Confession .121. Vodka On My Lips, Took Too Many Drinks…

Who are you to say that I didn’t love you
Cause I didn’t love the way you wanted?
And who am I to blame
When I didn’t trust you enough to let you in the way I wanted?

You know, this song really deserves from bad-ass zombie styling or something… but I can’t manage that at the moment and the song’s been stuck in my head all day.   So this is what you get.  LOL.

“If I’m lucky I’ll meet ya flipside of the graveyard…”

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