Confession .132. Too Hard To Breathe, I’m On My Knees Right Now…

I’m so sick of that same old love
That shit, it tears me up
I’m so sick of that same old love
My body’s had enough…

For a long time, both in my SL and my RL I’ve tried to figure out this delicate balance between how I feel as a submissive, and how I feel as a ‘hopeless romantic’ in a more vanilla sense.  And let me tell you, it’s not exactly the easiest balance to find.

Today, you’re going to get some ramblings from my brain about romanticism and M/s relationships.

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Confession .131. It Feel Like My Life Ain’t Mine…

It’s the very first breath when your head’s been drowning underwater
It’s the lightness in the air when you’re there chest to chest with a lover
It’s holding on, though the road’s long
Seeing light in the darkest things
And when you stare at your reflection, finally knowing who it is
I know that you’ll thank God you did…

If you were on my Facebook this morning, you know exactly what I’m going to talk about in this post.  If you were not on my Facebook this morning, then please know that this post will contain a narrative that may or may not be triggering to those with anxieties and sensitivities to certain subject matters, including but not limited to suicide.

Thank you for heeding this warning.  If you don’t continue reading, to avoid the triggering subject, I understand, and I’ll see you next time.  ♥  If you continue… let’s talk about my sister’s father-in-law…

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Confession .130. If You Didn’t Know, I Fight Like A Girl…

I got a lot to say
No time to play
Ay, I’m comin’ for ya…

“You teach people how to treat you.”

This commentary came up in a group discussion tonight.  It wasn’t something I’ve thought about in a long time, but I thought about it a lot tonight.  It came from such a simple question as to how to move on after a break up or a bad relationship, but the conversation evolved to this.

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Confession .129. Low On Self-Esteem, So You Run On Gasoline…

Are you deranged like me?  Are you strange like me?
Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?
Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?
Pointing fingers cause you’ll never take the blame like me?

“Are you insane like me?  Been in pain like me?”

I just love how… harsh and raw this song is.  I’m pretty sure I’ve blogged it, like, 600 times, but it’s in my head lately because I’m pretty sure I’m going to dance it this weekend at the invitational Display of Riches in Teehra, so I’m trying to work it out.  It’s just kinda short… so some… finagling…

Sorry.  I might’ve gotten lost in music land for a bit.

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Confession .128. Always Somebody You’re Willing To Fight To Be Right…

Your lies are bullets
Your mouth’s a gun
No war in anger was ever won…

Oh, hello Catwa head, old friend.  It’s nice to see you.   I haven’t had you on in awhile.  But I just had to check out the new Catwa update for the Catya head.

And the ‘cutesy’ look looked better with this particularly adorable dress from Moon Amore.

But there’s more of a darker theme to this photo series today than there might seem…

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Confession .127. Baby, I’m Right Here…

‘Cause I wanna touch you, baby
And I wanna feel you, too
I wanna see the sunrise and your sins
Just me and you…

Hi, my name is Deia, and I’m an insecure cow.

A lot of you are sitting here saying, “But Deia, you’re a massive, arrogant cunt.  What do you mean you’re insecure?”  To those of you… first of all, thank you.  I consider that a term of endearment, considering I’ve been called much worse.  Lol.  But secondly, allow me to explain to you how that works…

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Confession .126. I Could Not Bare To Lie To You, To Lie With You…

Money won’t pay for Your problems
You gotta fix them Yourself
Vices and pity won’t solve them
Stop feeling bad for Yourself

Sort of a follow-up to yesterday’s post.  (Cause I’m writing this a couple hours later, and scheduling it ahead… cause I felt super productive with my photos tonight/this morning.)

I realize yesterday’s post was kinda sorta super angry.  That’s kinda what this blog is sometimes… stuff stays bottled up and then I find something perfect… like that Polaroid pose yesterday… and it all comes flooding out.  Again, there’s a super convenient ‘x’ in the upper right of your screen if you’re not a fan of the occasional word-vomit when it’s needed.

Today will be less ranty.

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