Confession .150. You Gave Up, I Grew Up…

Where would I, where would I be?
What would I do?
If You were, if You were there when I needed You?

I don’t think this particular post actually exists on social media anymore… I shared it last night on my Facebook page from Chris Crocker, but today I couldn’t find it on my page or his.  I went looking and found a cached version that still had it, where I was able to grab the content because I feel like it is COMPLETELY true in the age of social media, and also in Second Life.

He may have deleted it because of social anxiety issues or any other reason really… it’s his page, but I felt the need to post it here.  These words are not my own, but Chris Crocker’s.

Confession .123. A Closed Mouth Don’t Get Fed…

They get mad I keep on talkin’
Nevermind, I beg your pardon?
Guess I’m just too damned outspoken
They can’t take me anywhere…

Reviewing stuff normally isn’t my thing.  I share narratives with you all usually, from my SL, my RL, a mixture of the two… whatever is on my mind.  However, what is on my mind right now is this tool I picked up that I used for these photos… so today I’ma chat about it instead.

If this kinda blog isn’t your style, feel free to scroll to the end for credits of where to find the pretty.  ❤

Also, I’m pretty sure I’ve blogged this song several times, but…

“Guess I didn’t get the message.  Eff it, I don’t really care.”

Confession .122. All The Leaves Are Brown And The Sky Is Grey…

I stopped into a church I passed along the way
Well I got down on my knees and I pretended to pray
You know the preacher likes the cold, He knows I’m gonna stay
California dreamin’ on such a winter’s day…

Someone commented on a past blog post that I did referencing my affinity for ‘stealing’ my first love’s cowboy hat and wearing it around all the time… including at my Senior prom, which I asked him to as my friend because all my friends were in long-term relationships and I didn’t want to go alone.

They asked me how I felt about being friends with him, knowing we would never be lovers, and how I got over him.  I suppose today it’s time to tell more of that story.

Confession .108. In A World Uncertain, Say You’ll Be My Stone…

So much on my mind, I think I think too much
Read between these lines, unspoken weight of words
But time comes to rest, when You are by my side it blurs…

As I was scrolling through Facebook – you know, procrastinating writing this post… lol – I happened across a photo that said pretty much exactly what I feel.  Funny how that works.

“I really hate committing to people, because once I put all my effort into them, they usually leave and I’m stuck looking like an idiot.”

Confession .78. Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Sidechicks

Her shroud was loneliness
Her God was listening
Her heaven will be a love without betrayal…

I wish I could say that I’m surprised.

I wish I could say that I’m surprised to hear that You likely cheated while we were together.  You know, while we were ‘living the dream’… and pursuing the things we both supposedly wanted?

But I’m really not that surprised.

Confession .62. Kuebiko

Cause you are beautiful inside, so lovely and I
Can’t see why I’d do anything without you, you are
And when I’m not with you, I know that it’s true
That I’d rather be anywhere but here without you…

kuebiko

n. a state of exhaustion inspired by an act of senseless violence, which forces you to revise your image of what can happen in this world—mending the fences of your expectations, weeding out invasive truths, cultivating the perennial good that’s buried under the surface—before propping yourself up in the middle of it like an old scarecrow, who’s bursting at the seams but powerless to do anything but stand there and watch.

 “I can’t do this again,” my mother literally sobbed at me before taking another very long, hard swig from her beer can.  What number this was, I’d lost count, but for the first time in a long time, I didn’t care.  It seemed justified, somehow.  Something about learning that your husband likely has cancer… again… seemed to make drinking a few beers and crying in your barn an ok reaction.

Confession .60. The Meantime

Touch me and then turn away
And put your hands into the flame
Tell me if you feel this pain
Cause I don’t want to be a ball and chain, no…

the meantime

n. the moment of realization that your quintessential future self isn’t ever going to show up, which forces the role to fall upon the understudy, the gawky kid for whom nothing is easy, who spent years mouthing their lines in the wings before being shoved into the glare of your life, which is already well into its second act.

Have you ever had one of those moments where shows like Big Bang Theory make you wonder if, at any moment in your life, your future self will randomly show up in your living room because time travel has been invented in the future and you’re about to make a really stupid mistake?

Granted, I’m not sure what kind of mistake you’d be making in your living room alone on a Saturday night… but bear with me.

Confession .34. All My Friends Are Heathens…

Please don’t make any sudden moves
You don’t know the half of the abuse…

So.  One of the super exciting things that happened while I’ve been caught in externship hell, is that I was recently accepted into the blogging team for We ❤ RP!  Now, those of you that have stuck with me for awhile on this platform know that I adore fantasy and roleplay stylings when I get the chance to do them, so of course this acceptance was completely humbling and thrilling.

It was also another sponsor from my blogger bucket list.