Posted in Events, Level Event, Life, New Releases

Confession .264. I Wish That You Could See The Pain That I’ve Seen…

i’m trying my best, i’m trying my best to be ok
i’m trying my best, but every day it’s so hard
i’m holding my breath
i’m holding my breath til i can say all of the words i want to say
From my heart…

Confession .264.  I Wish That You Could See The Pain That I've Seen...

There isn’t a lot that i get to say about this.  There isn’t a lot that it would even be my place to say.  But i do have a few things…

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Posted in Gor, Life, New Releases

Confession .263. Breathing Half A Breath Since You’re Away…

One less spark from a flame
One more heart beat away
i think i lost Your scent after the rain
i’ll find You when O/our paths cross by the gold mines…

Confession .263.  Breathing Half A Breath Since You're Away...

i’m not used to not getting what i want in dance.  And as self-centered as that sounds – let me explain.  i’m not used to competing, as i don’t do so very often anymore.  Most of the time, i’m performing in a theater with a group of like-minded P/people, just for fun and the love of dance (and sure, the tips don’t hurt).  It’s not often i put myself out there to be judged anymore… and yesterday reminded me why.

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Posted in Events, FaMeshed, Kustom 9, Life, New Releases, Vanity Event

Confession .235. And What About You, Mr. Poetry?

My kind of time’s meant to carelessly spend
My kind of nights are the ones that don’t end
My kind of fun doesn’t make any sense
And my kind of love, You won’t ever forget…

Confession .235.  And What About You, Mr. Poetry?

Well… happy freaking new year.  Lol.  Just like i said yesterday on Facebook, you’re not going to get some kind of “new year, new me” post out of me… because honestly, half the time i’m terrible at meeting goals, but to be perfectly frank?  No one can really, truly, drastically change who they are.  You’re given the body, the mind, the heart, the soul you’re given… and you can just work to improve it, to grow, and to learn… but you can’t expect to just be able to change everything.  And certainly not in 365 days.  So no… not ‘new year, new me’… just… new year, improving me.

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Posted in Events, FaMeshed, Kustom 9, Life, New Releases, Shop and Hop

Confession .233. Imagine A World Like That…

We go like up til i’m sleep on Your chest
Love how my face fits so good in Your neck
Why can’t You imagine a world like that?

Confession .233.  Imagine A World Like That...

Lord.  i took this photo Christmas Eve, edited it Christmas morning, and then didn’t get to post it until right now.  i’m doing this thing where i’m trying to focus more in the moment when i’m with someone/doing something rather than multitasking with 600 things, and honestly it’s been so good.

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Posted in Events, Life, New Releases, The Arcade, Uber

Confession .230. I’m Drawn To The Unknown, Where Shadows Hide…

The endless of darkness is hovering
The sound of the silence is deafening
Ten billion decibels shattering

Confession .230.  I'm Drawn To The Unknown, Where Shadows Hide...

People ask me sometimes why i withdraw from people and places that i used to frequent and enjoy being around.  Most of the time, my answers to this question are varied, and can sometimes be an over-reaction to a perception i have about a P/person or situation.  Today, though, today was different.

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Posted in Events, Life, New Releases, Poetry, Red Light District, The Epiphany, Uber

Confession .221. Who Knew Evil Girls Had The Prettiest Face?

i still see Your shadows in my room
Can’t take back the love that i gave You
It’s to the point where i love and i hate You
And i cannot change You so i must replace You…

Confession .221.  Who Knew Evil Girls Had The Prettiest Face?

i hadn’t written anything new, poetry-wise, since the Beyond the Rainbow event i read at during BOI Week… i’d started a few things but nothing that i never really finished until last night when i was journaling.  So this is another blog post where i’m going to cheat and show you what i journaled.  Some of you, while not D/s, may still relate to this… and D/s people, particularly submissives, may relate more deeply.

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Posted in Events, Frou Frou, Life, New Releases, Uber

Confession .210. Tear Me To Pieces, Skin And Bone…

Thought I found a way
Thought I found a way, yeah
But You never go away
So I guess I gotta stay now…

Confession .210.  Tear Me To Pieces, Skin And Bone...

This is going to be one of those random rambling blog posts that don’t really make sense to anyone not inside my own head… so, if you read this and don’t understand, don’t worry… you may not be meant to.

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Posted in Events, Life, New Releases, Red Light District, Vanity Event

Confession .199. To Your Major, I’m Minor, Breaking Every Single Chord You Play…

I’m sweet wine, but You want whiskey
I just wish I could be strong enough…
Still a faded Polaroid
But I can’t be something that I have never been…

https://www.flickr.com/photos/riki-tiki-tivi/28574878767/in/dateposted-public/

Oh, look!  It’s not just me in here today!  Lol.  Thank you, Magnus, for putting up with my shit lately, and especially in this photo.

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Posted in Events, Red Light District, Uber

Confession .186. Honey, Come Put Your Lips On Mine And Shut Me Up…

Silence is golden, and you’ve got my hopes up
We talk too much
No hesitation, what are we waiting for?
We talk too much!

Confession .186.  Honey, Come Put Your Lips On Mine And Shut Me Up...

I will never look at a swing set the same again after this night.  *Purrs and grins*

But for real, though… I had something else I wanted to write about with this particular blog post, but after seeing SL Secrets today, I’ve got some stuff to say…

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Posted in Events, Life, Uber

Confession .167. What Being Dumped Feels Like…

And so it seems, I broke your heart
My ignorance has struck again
I failed to see it from the start
And tore you open til the end…

https://www.flickr.com/photos/riki-tiki-tivi/26318581678/in/dateposted-public/

I didn’t intend for this, “What ___ feels like” to become a mini series on my blog.  I only meant to show you guys how anxiety affects me, and how I personally handle my Asperger’s… however it seems that circumstances lately are begging for another to be written.

I also didn’t intend to blog this photo.  There’s nothing new in here, except the skin, and you can’t really see the face detail to make that relevant.  Haha.  But I took it for a photo contest and really liked how it turned out… so I censored the breast area and figured it was as good a photo as any to write this particular post.

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