Even though all of my fears
And all of my doubts
Are outside my door, ready for war
Right here and now…
As a part of my training in the D/s sim i consider my home Community, i’ve been picking up journaling again. In the past, i didn’t find it effective – which is probably ironic, given that i’ve been writing here in this blog for five years with each post, so clearly there’s something to be said for the therapeutic quality of stream-of-consciousness type writing – but with the way it’s been panning out for the last couple of weeks, it’s been helpful, giving me a place to just… be… and write down my thoughts, unfiltered.
i want to share with Y/you all today a portion of my journal entry from yesterday… Some of you might be able to guess what sparked this particular line of thought – though i’m not going to mention it or talk about it specifically here. It simply served as inspiration, and the last thing i want to do is come across as ‘salty’ or ‘bitter’ about it. ♥
Continue reading “Confession .219. And They’re Marching In…”
Tell me what to say, when You’re running out of words
When You run, though You should stay
When You’re fighting a war, but cannot remember what You’re fighting for…
I feel like I take small breaks, or mini-hiatuses (Is that a word? If not, it is now…) a lot – or a lot more than one should. But lately, RL has been kicking my ass. If you’re not here to hear about RL, see you next time, scroll down so you know where to get your pretties from! ♥
Continue reading “Confession .201. Brick By Brick You Build Your Walls With No One There To Break Them…”
I’m so sick of that same old love
That shit, it tears me up
I’m so sick of that same old love
My body’s had enough…
For a long time, both in my SL and my RL I’ve tried to figure out this delicate balance between how I feel as a submissive, and how I feel as a ‘hopeless romantic’ in a more vanilla sense. And let me tell you, it’s not exactly the easiest balance to find.
Today, you’re going to get some ramblings from my brain about romanticism and M/s relationships.
Continue reading “Confession .132. Too Hard To Breathe, I’m On My Knees Right Now…”
It’s the very first breath when your head’s been drowning underwater
It’s the lightness in the air when you’re there chest to chest with a lover
It’s holding on, though the road’s long
Seeing light in the darkest things
And when you stare at your reflection, finally knowing who it is
I know that you’ll thank God you did…
If you were on my Facebook this morning, you know exactly what I’m going to talk about in this post. If you were not on my Facebook this morning, then please know that this post will contain a narrative that may or may not be triggering to those with anxieties and sensitivities to certain subject matters, including but not limited to suicide.
Thank you for heeding this warning. If you don’t continue reading, to avoid the triggering subject, I understand, and I’ll see you next time. ♥ If you continue… let’s talk about my sister’s father-in-law…
Continue reading “Confession .131. It Feel Like My Life Ain’t Mine…”
Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me?
Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?
Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?
Pointing fingers cause you’ll never take the blame like me?
“Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me?”
I just love how… harsh and raw this song is. I’m pretty sure I’ve blogged it, like, 600 times, but it’s in my head lately because I’m pretty sure I’m going to dance it this weekend at the invitational Display of Riches in Teehra, so I’m trying to work it out. It’s just kinda short… so some… finagling…
Sorry. I might’ve gotten lost in music land for a bit.
Continue reading “Confession .129. Low On Self-Esteem, So You Run On Gasoline…”
Money won’t pay for Your problems
You gotta fix them Yourself
Vices and pity won’t solve them
Stop feeling bad for Yourself
Sort of a follow-up to yesterday’s post. (Cause I’m writing this a couple hours later, and scheduling it ahead… cause I felt super productive with my photos tonight/this morning.)
I realize yesterday’s post was kinda sorta super angry. That’s kinda what this blog is sometimes… stuff stays bottled up and then I find something perfect… like that Polaroid pose yesterday… and it all comes flooding out. Again, there’s a super convenient ‘x’ in the upper right of your screen if you’re not a fan of the occasional word-vomit when it’s needed.
Today will be less ranty.
Continue reading “Confession .126. I Could Not Bare To Lie To You, To Lie With You…”
If You love me, let me go…
Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
Truth be told, I never was Yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart…
That close-up photo may or may not be petty. Truthfully, I’m sick of worrying whether it’s petty or not. It made me smile, and so I took and edited the photo, and now I’m posting it. You don’t like it, you can click the x… no one is forcing you to be here.
That last bit? Not to those of you that read and are supportive. Mostly directed at the drama-mongerers that wanna come in my box or sub me on Facebook about stuff I write here. Lol. I see you, boo. And I don’t care. ❤
Continue reading “Confession .125. Assembling Their Philosophies From Pieces Of Broken Memories…”