Posted in Events, Life, New Releases, The Chapter Four, Uber, We <3 RP

Confession .78. Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Sidechicks

Her shroud was loneliness
Her God was listening
Her heaven will be a love without betrayal…

Confession .78.  Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Sidechicks

I wish I could say that I’m surprised.

I wish I could say that I’m surprised to hear that You likely cheated while we were together.  You know, while we were ‘living the dream’… and pursuing the things we both supposedly wanted?

But I’m really not that surprised.

Continue reading “Confession .78. Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Sidechicks”

Posted in Events, Kustom 9, Life, New Releases, Shiny Shabby

Confession .53. I Told Myself This Could Be Rough…

So I’ll get the lights, and You lock the doors
We ain’t leaving this room til we both feel more
Don’t walk away, don’t roll Your eyes
They say love is pain.
Well, darling, let’s hurt tonight…

Confession .53.  I Told Myself This Could Be Rough...

This isn’t exactly the most festive of outfits.  My apologies for that.  I did get the gorgeous bracelets/armlets/rings featured above in a blogger pack from Promagic, so I wanted something I could pair with them.  However, I’m just not exactly in the most festive mood today.

For the better part of several months now, I’ve been on this emotional rollercoaster with my RL family.  My step-dad has been in pain.  He has a bad back… so at first we thought nothing of it.  But then it didn’t go away.  He started getting sick… and his symptoms manifested like gallbladder symptoms, so we still didn’t worry too much.  He just needs a HIDA scan and to probably schedule gallbladder surgery.  No biggie.  We’ve had a surgeon down here do mine… but then all the tests started coming back negative and normal.  Then the doctor refused to run more tests and just wanted to ‘wait until his regular six month check-up’.  Meanwhile my step-dad was still in unmanaged pain.  So clearly this wasn’t acceptable.  He was taken to the ER, and was sent home with information about Pancreatic Cancer.  My mother fell apart.  His daughters fell apart.  His sisters fell apart.  He was sent to see a GI Specialist who ordered a biopsy, and it came back negative… no cancer.  But he didn’t trust it.  So he ordered another one, and sent my step-dad to see a Pancreatic specialist.  That specialist read the biopsy the same way… no cancer.  But there’s an autoimmune disease that mimicks Pancreatic Cancer symptoms.  Said he would run those tests.  Those came back negative.  Instead, they found Lymphoma.  Sent my step-dad to an Oncologist.  Oncologist says the sample isn’t good enough for him to confirm the diagnosis, or tell us what type of Lymphoma, or stage it.  Needs a PET scan and to consult with the Tumor Board.  PET scan comes back negative, thank god.  So the cancer (if it’s cancer) has not spread.  Oncologist warns that if the Tumor Board needs more tissue, the only way is to get it laproscopically.  Promised he would call Thursday after the meeting.

The doctor called this afternoon.  (You’re seeing this Friday, but I’m writing it Thursday.)

Continue reading “Confession .53. I Told Myself This Could Be Rough…”

Posted in Events, Life, New Releases, The Arcade, We <3 RP, WinterTrendSL

Confession .49. There’s Things I Don’t Ask, What I Don’t Know Can’t Hurt Me…

I’m not discarding you like broken glass
There are no winners when the die is cast
There’s only tears when it’s the final chance
So don’t give up, it’s just young lovers’ romance…

Confession .49.  There's Things I Don't Ask, What I Don't Know Can't Hurt Me...

For as long as I can remember, I have known what I’ve wanted to name my children.  I have known that I’ve wanted to have one boy and one girl, and I have known what I have wanted to name both of them.

There is a naming tradition in my family, that at least one girl in a generation must have the mother’s first or middle name used.  I didn’t get named with the tradition because by the time I was born, my aunt had already had my cousin, and had given her the family middle name.  However, because it looked like I was the only female in this generation that may have children, it would be up to me to use my mother’s first name, or her middle name.  There is a horrible, rare disease in my family that we think my female cousin has, and if she does, she doesn’t want children.  She doesn’t want to make them live through what she had her brothers are going through/have gone through.

Continue reading “Confession .49. There’s Things I Don’t Ask, What I Don’t Know Can’t Hurt Me…”

Posted in Events, FaMeshed, Life, New Releases, Sad November, The Crossroads, The Gacha Garden

Confession .38. Sometimes You Gotta Burn Some Bridges Just To Create Some Distance…

You ever wonder what we could’ve been?
You said you wouldn’t and you fucking did.
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix.
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed…

hateyouloveyou2final

“Feeling used, but I’m still missing you.  And I can’t see the end of this.  Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips.  And now all this time is passing by, but still I can’t seem to tell you why it hurts me every time I see you.  Realize how much I need you.”

She used to be strong.  She used to be… the epitome of independent, feminine strength rolled into a romantically submissive package.  The woman who could manage with the best of them but still come home and sit at Daddy’s feet and be perfectly content.

She used to be strong…

Continue reading “Confession .38. Sometimes You Gotta Burn Some Bridges Just To Create Some Distance…”

Posted in Events, Life, New Releases, The Epiphany, Tres Chic

Confession .37. I Do Dumb Shit… All The Time…

Although time may take us into different places
I will still be patient with you
And I hope you know
I won’t let go…

Confession .37.  I Do Dumb Shit... All The Time...

This photo right here?  Taken entirely by accident.  Yay for happy accidents!

I guess that’s sort of the unofficial theme of today’s blog.  Like the title says, I do dumb shit… a lot.  And I do.  I listen to other people sometimes far more than I should, and I used to take their opinion into consideration far too often.  Now, like in an earlier blog I posted, I still believe that’s a very important thing to do professionally, because how else are you going to know when someone’s being a two-faced asshole who just wants to take advantage of you, professionally?  But when it comes to personal relationships… I used to hold far too much stock in what other people told me.

And it lead me to do some dumb shit.

Continue reading “Confession .37. I Do Dumb Shit… All The Time…”

Posted in Events, New Releases, The Chapter Four, The Crossroads, Tres Chic, We <3 RP

Confession .34. All My Friends Are Heathens…

Please don’t make any sudden moves
You don’t know the half of the abuse…

Confession .34.  All My Friends Are Heathens...

So.  One of the super exciting things that happened while I’ve been caught in externship hell, is that I was recently accepted into the blogging team for We ❤ RP!  Now, those of you that have stuck with me for awhile on this platform know that I adore fantasy and roleplay stylings when I get the chance to do them, so of course this acceptance was completely humbling and thrilling.

It was also another sponsor from my blogger bucket list.

Continue reading “Confession .34. All My Friends Are Heathens…”

Posted in Events, Gacha Guardians, Life, New Releases, Uber

Confession .33. I’m A Little Unsteady

Hold, hold on, hold onto me
Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady…

Confession .33.  I'm A Little Unsteady...

So it’s been awhile.  I’ve both started my externship and am now being moved to a different site.  That’s… all sorts of a complicated story that I’m far too emotionally strung-out to really get into right now.

The good news is, however, I have an unexpected long weekend.  Lol.

Continue reading “Confession .33. I’m A Little Unsteady”

Posted in Collabor88, Events, Fetish Fair, Shiny Shabby, The Fantasy Collective

Confession .29. When The Roof Is On Fire, You Never Let Me Know

Say You’re sorry, Honey
But You never really show…
And I can leave the party without ever letting You know
Without ever letting You know…

Confession .29.  When The Roof Is On Fire, You Never Let Me Know

The blogger gods seem to have answered my prayers today.  I went back into a couple of groups to see if I’d missed anything – because I always miss SOMETHING – and lo and behold, there was an awesome new skin applier for Lelutka from AlterEgo.  So of course I grabbed that.  And it was a chance to show off the Lelutka version of these Veechi eyeshadows I’ve been digging on lately.

Continue reading “Confession .29. When The Roof Is On Fire, You Never Let Me Know”

Posted in Uncategorized

Tough Girl, Whose Soul Aches…

I may cry, ruining my makeup
Wash away all the things you’ve taken
And I don’t care if I don’t look pretty
Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking

BigGirlsCry2FINAL

I still can’t really look at wedding dresses the same.  That eludes to a post I made, gods, what, a year ago or something now?  Maybe more?  The most GORGEOUS dress from Romance Couture that I was going to use for my SL wedding.  Reader’s Digest version?  It went to hell.  Lol.  As most things do.

So imagine my bittersweet reaction when I heard the finale show for Penumbra Spring/Summer ’15 Fashion Week was going to be a bridal show.  I wasn’t sure if I was mentally prepared to be inundated with bridal dresses/jewelry/shoes/creations, no matter how wonderful the designers were.  Needless to say, I’m a sensitive person, and it takes a long time for my heart to let go of things that hurt me deeply… so even now, a year or more later, it still hurts, in the back of my heart… that pang of, “Ouch… this kinda sucks,” is still present.

BUT I had to show this dress from Lyrical Bizarre, because even though it’s white and designed to be featured in the finale bridal show for Fashion Week, it can be used for so many other occasions in which white would be appropriate… like a white party, especially a formal white party.

I remember my first white party.  It was one that Edi and Rico had hosted back when they formed this huge group of us that wanted to be social and have regular get-togethers within SL.  I… admittedly don’t remember the name of the group of us, but we had a physical in-world group and everything.  And I’m pretty sure it was our first party that they threw for all of us, it was a white party.

I was with Wylder at the time (again – and ‘ouch’ moment…) and I remember him being gripey and grumbly at trying to find something white to wear that he liked.  “Why do we even have to wear white anyway?”  “Because it’s a white party… that’s the whole point?”  We often didn’t see eye to eye on stuff like this.  Then again, I guess I haven’t really seen eye to eye with most anyone I’ve been with.

At first I thought that was a good thing… unique perspectives.  But it doesn’t seem to be proving to be that great in the long run.

BigGirlsCry3FINAL

Those of you that have known me as a blogger for ANY length of time know that I have a – sometimes unhealthy – obsession with both Nuuna and Madrid Solo Cosmetics.  And today, well, today is no exception, really.  It didn’t want something ‘typical’ and ‘subtle’ that a bride might normally want.  And of course, the lines in the song that I’m using today that stuck out to me the most were, “I may cry and ruin my makeup,” and “I don’t care if I don’t look pretty.”

Now, I happen to find all the makeup pieces I used today very pretty.  But the look when combining them was enough to give it that quality that kinda makes you tip your head to one side and stare for a moment to understand it.  That’s what I endeavor to do most of the time when I style.  You’ll get it… hopefully… but it’ll take a moment of thinking before you get it.

Mentally engaging styling.  Elements of avant garde are usually present, even if the whole style itself isn’t avant garde.  That’s just me, that’s who I am.  That’s the image I’ve made for myself.  And I worked damn hard to do that… to get to where I am.

Apparently nowadays hard work is over-rated.  But I’m going to keep doing it.  Maybe I’m crazy.  But I have this sense of responsibility to work my ass off to achieve the things I want the most in life.

Apparently this work ethic is rare?

BigGirlsCry1FINAL

*~* Tough Girl, Whose Soul Aches… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Alice (Lovely Day; Artic Tone; Makeup Option 1) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) – IKON
Hair: Beans (no bow version; Hud 01) – Magika Hair
Body: Lara Mesh Body (current version 3.3) – Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Spring Mesh (water) – Nailed It  **recent release**
White Eyemakeup: Iza Makeup (White) – Nuuna
Right-side Mask: Avion (Silver) – Madrid Solo
Teeth: Open Mouth Pro (w/ Piercing) – PXL Creations
Lipstick: Bubble Gloss (The Nudes pack; Salty Nude) – Madrid Solo
Gown: Lure – Lyrical Bizarre Templates @ Penumbra S/S ’15 FW
Necklace: Arabella Wild Pearls – Maxi Gossamer
Anklets: Rebel Anklets (Silver) – Promagic

Pose (photo 1): Various from slouch poses
Pose (photo 2): Various from PosESioN
Pose (photo 3): Rachel AO from Vista Animations

Location: Salt Water

Blogging Tune: “Big Girls Cry” – Sia

Posted in Uncategorized

We Can Only Get Brighter…

I’m standin’ in the flames
It’s a beautiful kind of pain
Settin’ fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light

BeautifulPain3FINAL

It’s been a crazy ride.  And I have the migraine from hell today, so please forgive me if I’m neither deep nor witty today.  Lol.

Basically I’m super far behind blogging on Penumbra Spring/Summer ’15 Fashion Week stuff, and so I’m trying to sort through everything in my inventory that I’ve been sent or pulled out of the group.  Be prepared to be inundated with awesome things you can continue to get over the next few days.  Be sure to check out the official schedule in one of my recent posts – HERE – to get to the remaining shows for this wonderful event.

Last night I showed you a lingerie set from Supernatural, and I have to admit this was a new store for me.  I hadn’t heard of it before until I was setting up my stall on the Fashion Week sim (Zanze Provocateur is there as a designer as well!  So I’ve been busy!)  and Supernatural is the stall next to me.

When I finished setting up my beachy/boardwalk style stall, I admittedly cammed next door to see what she was working on and saw her ad pictures.  I love taking pieces and throwing them together in ways that may not utilize the whole boxed outfit, but work together for my particular style of dress and also show the work of the designer.  When I saw the Judy outfit, I knew I was going to do that with this vest.  The tunic-style vest originally goes over a bra and panties, but I grabbed it and off I went to create my outfit.

BeautifulPain2FINAL

I admittedly was wearing a pair of my own pants from one of my releases at Penumbra Fashion Week, from my Torrance outfit.  Harem-style pants just looked comfy to me, and with the headache I’ve got, comfy was a must.  At least for pants.

And yessssterday while I was having a conversation with the amazing Kiddo Oh of Dead Dollz, I got tossed a folder.  Of course, getting pretties from Kiddo is always awesome, so my reaction was, “Ooo what’s this?”  And it’s the top she just released at The Fantasy Collective that opened today.

Next stop was Cosmetic fair, cause I’m a slacker… it’s been open for the last 5 days and I just now got there.  Nuuna is one of my favorite avant garde type makeup artists, and when I found that she was selling Lelutka appliers for designs I hadn’t seen yet, it led me back to her store to pick up this new eye makeup that I just LOVE.  Another new designer to me, Moon Amore, was the source of this pretty killer hand tattoo.  To finish everything off, cause I felt naked without a bracelet or shoes or something, I grabbed some of my favorite rings from Formanails and some new anklets from Promagic, an awesome go-to store for most of my footwear needs, since she caters to more than just shoes… and I hate wearing actual shoes 90% of the time.

And thus, here we go.  In my true semi-boho nature, this hair from Truth of course screamed, “You must buy me!”  And the bindi in the center of my forehead was an awesome little find at Cosmetic fair from Kibitz.

I’m sorta super excited with how this all came out… and I like wearing it around.

BeautifulPain1FINAL

*~* We Can Only Get Brighter… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Alice (Lovely Day; Artic Tone; Makeup Option 1) – Glam Affair
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) – IKON
Hair: Celeste (Ligh Blondes) – Truth Hair  **recent release**
Body: Lara Mesh Body (current version 3.3) – Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Monochrome Set – Nailed It
Eye Makeup: Mya Makeup (Grey) – Nuuna
Teeth: Open Mouth Pro (w/ Piercing) – PXL Creations
Hand Tattoo: 90’s Hand Tattoo – Moon Amore  @ Cosmetic Fair
Top: Missandei Top (Black) – Dead Dollz  @ The Fantasy Collective
Vest: Judy Tunic – Supernatural  @ Penumbra S/S ’15 FW
Pants: Torrance Pants (Black) – Zanze Provocateur  @ Penumbra S/S ’15 FW
Forehead Bindi: Bindi #12 – Kibitz  @ Cosmetic Fair
Nosering: Cihuapilli Nose Piercing – Soedara
Hand Rings: Accessoires Unisex Elegant (Black) – Formanails
Anklets: Girly Anklets (Black) – Promagic

Pose (photo 1): various from Morphine (now closed)
Pose (photo 2): various from Agapee
Pose (photo 3): various from oOo Studio

Location: Salt Water

Blogging Tune: “Beautiful Pain” – Eminem ft. Sia