I kissed a stranger in a white dress
She put a crown on top of my head
Said every King needs a Queen in His bed…
Forgive me if I get a little ranty tonight… there’s a particular piece of a conversation with a former friend that has been stuck in my head and really grinding me the wrong way. I thought after having slept on it, I’d feel better about it… but I don’t, really… so here is my response…
Continue reading “Confession .200. We Can Dive Down Deeper Instead…”
I’m not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say, cause we don’t want your broken parts
I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say, no one will love you as you are…
A lot of you reacted well to the last post I put up… giving you an insight into my brain when it comes to anxiety and when I’m feeling anxious… how that affects me… and why my behavior patterns might not seem normal to you, but they are very normal to me, giving what’s going on in my mind at that time.
Because of this, I thought I’d let you take a peek into the other bit of myself that affects me deeply… I’m an Aspie. As a bonus, you’ll see my anxiety make a guest appearance as well.
Continue reading “Confession .166. What Aspergers Feels Like…”
I can tell you what it feels like
To lose your home on a cold night
Can you see the blood in my red eyes?
Have another toke, we’ll forget life…
“We can bottle up our fear, brew a taste so sweet, knock us off our feet.”
The particular video of this song that I’m watching while I’m writing this has been out since July of 2016. So my only question is…
WHERE THE HELL WAS I?! I’m LOVING this song, and it’s been on repeat all night, hence it has managed to permeate this blog post. Sorry, not sorry.
Continue reading “Confession .142. Burn Our Troubles, Inhale Them All…”
When you’ve been fighting for it all your life
You’ve been working every day and night
That’s how a superhero learns to fly…
Now, onto more positive things!
It’s always interesting to me to see how people react when someone is in crisis. There are – generally – two large subsets of people: 1.) Those that sit back and thank god it’s not them, but don’t really make an effort to help in any way, and 2.) Those that jump in and help in any way that they can, no matter how small they might think it is.
I try my damnedest to be in that second subset of people as often as I can.
Continue reading “Confession .135. That’s How A Superhero Learns To Fly…”
Money won’t pay for Your problems
You gotta fix them Yourself
Vices and pity won’t solve them
Stop feeling bad for Yourself
Sort of a follow-up to yesterday’s post. (Cause I’m writing this a couple hours later, and scheduling it ahead… cause I felt super productive with my photos tonight/this morning.)
I realize yesterday’s post was kinda sorta super angry. That’s kinda what this blog is sometimes… stuff stays bottled up and then I find something perfect… like that Polaroid pose yesterday… and it all comes flooding out. Again, there’s a super convenient ‘x’ in the upper right of your screen if you’re not a fan of the occasional word-vomit when it’s needed.
Today will be less ranty.
Continue reading “Confession .126. I Could Not Bare To Lie To You, To Lie With You…”
I stopped into a church I passed along the way
Well I got down on my knees and I pretended to pray
You know the preacher likes the cold, He knows I’m gonna stay
California dreamin’ on such a winter’s day…
Someone commented on a past blog post that I did referencing my affinity for ‘stealing’ my first love’s cowboy hat and wearing it around all the time… including at my Senior prom, which I asked him to as my friend because all my friends were in long-term relationships and I didn’t want to go alone.
They asked me how I felt about being friends with him, knowing we would never be lovers, and how I got over him. I suppose today it’s time to tell more of that story.
Continue reading “Confession .122. All The Leaves Are Brown And The Sky Is Grey…”
Baby, fineness is the way to kill
Tell me how it feel, I bet it’s such a bitter pill
And yeah, I know you thought you had bigger better things
Bet right now this stings
Cause the grass is greener under me
Bright as technicolor, I can tell that you can see
And yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this
But it gets worse!
Sorry, not sorry. I’m absolutely OBSESSED with this song right now. (Well… by ‘right now’ I still mean a week before you’re going to see this. But this is the last of the pre-scheduled posts, so you’ll start getting stuff in real-time again soon!)
Continue reading “Confession .115. Payback Is A Bad Bitch, And Baby, I’m The Baddest…”
Been about three days and I’m comin’ back
I’m about four minutes from a heart attack
And I think You make me a maniac
But You don’t know.
Don’t bust my balls for one picture in this post. I was zooming in to take a closer picture of the face/hair and Black Dragon crashed on me. (Shock shock! A buggy viewer crashed! Never! Lol.)
The point of this post is pretty hair, pretty skin, pretty tattoo, and you can see all of that in this photo.
Continue reading “Confession .111. But I’m Thinking, “Damn, If These Walls Could Talk!””
I’m sorry I’m not the most pretty…
I’ll never ever sing like Whitney…
But I still wanna dance with somebody…
I was told in a discussion earlier that a different color of this makeup I was wearing made me look like Effie Trinket from Hunger Games? I’ve admittedly never read the books or seen the movies (*ducks*), so I had to Google her and decided to adjust the makeup accordingly to make the look a little more true to her.
For someone who hasn’t seen it, I’d like to think I did decently. And it was a fun way to give this styling a sense of purpose, aside from “These are all pretty things!”
Continue reading “Confession .103. I Just Wanna Dance With Somebody…”
I keep dragging around what’s bringing me down
If I’d just let go, I’d be set free…
May 14th, 2017. Mother’s Day here in the US. Normally I don’t think much about it, aside from celebrating it with my own mother. Though she and I are incredibly close… so it’s not like “This is the one day a year I hang out with my mom.” Not quite. We’re together a lot.
So today was mostly just another day, aside from my taking her to lunch in an INCREDIBLY crowded place that she chose. Heh.
But for me… it was what I’ve been seeing on Facebook the past couple of days… that has sparked this particular post.
Continue reading “Confession .92. I’m Holding On To So Much More Than I Can Carry…”