Confession .269. For A Chance To Start Over And Rewrite An Ending Or Two For The Girl That I Knew…

Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a Man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck…
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day, til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine…

https://www.flickr.com/photos/riki-tiki-tivi/48670134282/in/dateposted-public/

Finally back to myself a bit after an unexpected 5-day stint in the hospital, followed by some intense antibiotics at home.  i’m sorry it’s been awhile, but i’m going to work to play a bit of catch-up now that i can function even with the side effects.  (i’ll take dizziness and nausea from oral antibiotics over having to stay in the hospital on IV stuff, tbh.)

Before anyone asks, yes, this is on my list of things to dance eventually.  Lol.  Y/you already knew.  i wasn’t trying to get in my feelings with this song tonight – really, i wasn’t.  You can tell from the way the photo was uh… well, look it’s kinky as fuck.  Lol.  But then this song happened…

Confession .222. I Could Lie And Say I Like It Like That…

Don’t You know i’m no good for You?
i’ve learned to lose, You can’t afford to…
Tore my shirt to stop You bleeding
But nothing ever stops You leaving…

i don’t have the energy to sustain one-sided friendships, relationships, or anything-ships really.  i spent too much of my life doing this because i had myself convinced that if i just worked a little bit harder to prove that i was good enough, i could have something great with this person.  A great friend.  A great lover.  A great Dominant.  A great whatever.  But unfortunately i constantly learn the hard way that no matter how hard you work – with some people, you’re never going to get anything back.

That doesn’t stop me from regularly making a dumbass out of myself, however.

Confession .191. Fooled Myself, Almost Forgot That I Just Wanna Go Home…

Think I drank too much… again…
Looks like fun, but it’s pretend
Why do I try to fit in
When I just wanna go home…

So.  Where has Sasha Sloan been all my life?  Those of you out there who were familiar with her music who didn’t bring her to my attention… have some ‘splainin to do!