Confession .153. And It Mean Nothing Til You Let It…

And You say I drink and I smoke and I talk too much
But I know You lied when You said that You just had enough and save Yourself
So hear me out…

“And You said need me to let this go, but it’s who I am.  Or am I just losing it?  Cause You said ‘Jump’ and I went first, but falling’s always been my downfall.”

This song.  Ugh.  It just punches me right in the feels.  So… I’m sorry if it punches you in the feels too.  *Nods lots*  Then again, most things that Eden and The Eden Project does know exactly how to drag you through a rollercoaster of emotions that you didn’t know you were going to feel for those 3 to 5 minutes.

It’s fucking tragically beautiful.

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Confession .151. I’d Be All You Need, And You’d Get Drunk On Me…

Maybe if I was a neon light
I’d lead your car right back to my door
Oh, maybe if I was a jukebox needle dropping on a drinking song
You’d want one more
If my name was Whiskey
Maybe right now you’d miss me…

There comes a time where you’ve given so much to someone or something, that you have to see if it’s not being reciprocated.  You have to sit back and objectively look at what you’re giving and what you’re getting back from it and question whether the return is worth the effort put in.

And sometimes it will be unbalanced, and that’ll still be ok.  Other times, it will take sitting back and looking objectively at it to see just how much your efforts are being taken advantage of.

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Confession .147. To Not Know Who I Am But Still Know That I’m Good Long As You’re Here With Me…

I don’t know what it is, but I got that feeling
Waking up in this bed next to you, swear the room – yeah – it got no ceiling
If we lay, let the day just pass us by
I might get to too much talking
I might have to tell you something…

“I like me better when I’m with You.”

I’m the one that will sabotage my own relationships.  I’ll get stir-crazy and feel trapped, despite WANTING to serve and be in that subservient place in my relationships… so I’ll sabotage myself, find an excuse to leave, and go.  Peace out, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

But not here… not this time…

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Confession .140. They Made A Monster Out Of Me…

But they would see me when I’m coming
I’ll be laughing, why you running?
Oh, you won’t see me when I’m coming
I’ll be that monster you been wanting…

5 years in the modeling industry, supposedly I’ve been this horrible person the whole time right, and this is the first time I’ve wound up in SL Secrets.  And it was weak af.

Like… I’m almost disappointed THAT’S what they went with.  Though I’m even more disappointed that their edit of my photo was garbage.  Did you get my ex, the “graphic designer” to do it for you?

Sorry… end petty.  On to better things!

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Confession .135. That’s How A Superhero Learns To Fly…

When you’ve been fighting for it all your life
You’ve been working every day and night
That’s how a superhero learns to fly…

Now, onto more positive things!

It’s always interesting to me to see how people react when someone is in crisis.  There are – generally – two large subsets of people: 1.) Those that sit back and thank god it’s not them, but don’t really make an effort to help in any way, and 2.) Those that jump in and help in any way that they can, no matter how small they might think it is.

I try my damnedest to be in that second subset of people as often as I can.

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Confession .130. If You Didn’t Know, I Fight Like A Girl…

I got a lot to say
No time to play
Ay, I’m comin’ for ya…

“You teach people how to treat you.”

This commentary came up in a group discussion tonight.  It wasn’t something I’ve thought about in a long time, but I thought about it a lot tonight.  It came from such a simple question as to how to move on after a break up or a bad relationship, but the conversation evolved to this.

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Confession .124. Tried To Shake Your Indifference, But It’s Too Late Now…

Say what You mean out loud
Drowning in silence when I’m lost in the crowd
Cause every sweet thing You’d never speak
It’s deafening
Never knowing what could be
Wish I could show You how…
But You’re just a ghost now

This song… has had me fucked up for days.  Days.  So… now I’m gonna earworm it to all of you.  You’re welcome.

Also… I went through hell to get this particular set of pictures, so I really hope you enjoy them… like, I logged in naked at a safe hub at one point, so y’all better like them.  Lol.

Anyway… on to why this song has me so fucked up lately.

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