Confession .304. Deep Down, When No One’s Around, You’ve Got A Heart Of Gold – Where Is It Now?

Charlotte, would You still care
If You knew i was hurting?
i miss my Friend, it’s like i’m missing
Parts of me i didn’t know
And now i’ve got to let them go
But i…
i just wanna know if You’re still fine…

i don’t have another way to get to You…

Confession .303. I Had No Warning About Who You Are…

You will never, ever touch me again
Won’t see your alligator tears
Cause, no, i’ve had enough of them…

Today i want to talk about the feeling of betrayal – a topic i realize won’t be E/everyone’s cup of tea.  So if this isn’t something you’re into, then feel free to scroll down for the pretties and i’ll see you at some point with something more lighthearted.

Confession .302. It’s Evolving, Just Backwards…

i took this title from the title of a Pewdiepie video.  i didn’t actually watch the video, so i’m not sure of the context, but the title just seemed to speak to everything that was on my heart right now.  Consider this a disclaimer.  i suppose i should also add a trigger warning… but i’m not sure what for?  If you don’t like being reminded of your privilege, i guess?

Confession .301. So I Took A Breath And Made A Wish And Blew Them All Away…

When I was a little girl, my mama said to me
“What’s your favorite flower, darling? I’ll get you the seed”
I said “Dandelion, Dandelion, ” that one’s so pretty
She said, “Child, that one’s not a flower, that one’s just a weed”

Oh, what a same.  Now it don’t look the same.  Guess it don’t look the same.  Oh, what a shame.

Confession .300. If I Played Along To Ease The Friction, Would You Still Tell Me That I’m Terrible?

Is this what you came for, you paid for?
To watch somebody burn and crumble and stumble
Then fumble all my words and let you twist them
And listen to all the ugly things you tell me i am
i’m tryin’ so hard to understand how i’m the
Master Manipulator who couldn’t fool anyone
Monster Reciprocator, shot no bullets from my gun
The Drama Queen who never seems to get applause from anyone
i won’t be who you say i am…

Of course i’m returning with a Gabbie Hanna song – it’d feel inappropriate if i didn’t.  Lol.  Her new EP, Bad Karma came out on the day my blogging ‘vacation’ ended, and given that the first time i heard the song “Special”, i immediately sat down, choreographed a whole routine and built a set to perform it next Sunday at Moonshadow, this felt like the appropriate song to return to.

So i’m back… kinda.

Confession .294. It’s A Terrible Feeling Being The Ghost On The Wall That’s Always Disappearing…

i’m a wanderer
i weave my way by dancing
In hopes that the cool kids will ask me to stay
i’m invisible to bright lights
Just standing on the side line waiting for a standing ovation
That i know just isn’t mine…

It’s been a long time since i’ve done one of these… but it feels like it’s needed right now…

Confession .291. You Should Know It’s All Or Nothing To Be With Me…

Don’t You look at me, don’t You even think about it, Baby
If You ain’t… if You ain’t… ready for it all…

Independence is often a front in submission – at least it is for me.  Yes, i’m an independent-ass woman generally, however… if i’m shoving that independence in Your face as a Dominant, then there’s often something deeper that is unfulfilled.  Let me explain…

Confession .290. Not Wishing The Best, Cause I Was That For You…

Cause You said this then did that
Took my heart, gave it back
How do You expect me to be happy for You?

Honestly, this song has absolutely nothing to do with how i’m feeling at the moment.  i just fell down the Youtube black hole and had never heard of her before, and i love her lyrics.  i’m actually in a pretty good mood, all things considered.

Confession .289. Are You Able To See Me?

i stand in front of You, with a few more steps between U/us
i stand in front of You, with a few more steps between U/us
i stand in front of You, with a few more steps between U/us
You tried to see the unknown…

Here’s a hint… the answer is no, Y/you can’t see me.  N/nobody can, it seems.  Lately, anyway.

Confession .284. Will You Still Love Me When I’m No Longer Young And Beautiful?

I’ve seen the world, lit it up as my stage now
Channeling angels in the new age now
Hot summer days, rock ‘n’ roll, the way you play for me at your show
And all the ways I got to know your pretty face and electric soul…

Today’s post is going to be a little bit heavy.  If that’s not Y/your thing, then i understand.  Just wanted to give Y/you a heads up before Y/you click for more.  🙂