You don’t know a thing at all
You don’t know about the way I am when I am all alone
You don’t even know
Where I care, the way I’ve grown
You don’t know about the way I love so deeply to my bones
You don’t even know me…
I’ve been thinking a lot about situations I shouldn’t be thinking about lately, which is of course an awesome thing, right? -insert eyeroll here-
The thing about being discriminated against based on your mental health is that that will follow you into everything after that first experience. You will question the validity of everything that happens afterwards, and constantly be waiting for the next shoe to drop.
It doesn’t matter if it’s the same situation or not. I just keep waiting for that shoe.
It doesn’t matter that it was a group of bigoted people who were looking for an excuse, versus an open, accepting group pf people who have been nothing but nice to me… I keep waiting for that shoe.
It doesn’t matter that it was a group of hateful people, versus friends who have been kind and listened when I try to explain how I’m feeling… I keep waiting for that shoe.
It doesn’t matter that they didn’t even bother to know me, versus people who genuinely try to know and understand… I keep waiting for that shoe.
And while I’m waiting for that shoe, I will simply push. I’ll push people away. Because, hey, at least if I push them away, I know what to expect, right? I don’t get to get blindsided that way. I know exactly what I’m doing, and even if I don’t want to do it, it feels safer.
When you’ve lived your life where you can never tell who’s being genuine with you and who isn’t, it’s just… easier that way.
But now I have feelings… and so pushing someone away hurts. But so does the prospect of not being good enough.
I’m never good enough, anyway.
Shape || Mine
Body || Lara Body (v5.3) | Maitreya
Head || Evo X Briannon Head (v3.0) | Lelutka
Skin || Eloise Skin (Tone 1.2) | Tres Beau | Level Event | recent!
Hair || Metropolis Hair (Misc HUD) | Stealthic | Anthem | new!
– This is the first to introduce the 3.0 hair system that includes highlights, which I tried to feature in this photo with contrasting colors. You can still choose to have your hair fully one color – though Stealthic has now DOUBLED the amount of colors available – or you can choose to add a highlight color for that extra uniqueness that is you!
Top || Naima Silk Wrap Tee (Black) | ISON | Collabor88 | new!
Collar || Kindred Collar | Cae
Blogging Tune || “You Don’t Even Know Me” – Faouzia