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Confession .333. Stand Or Fall, I Will Be Right Here For You…

These are words that every girl should have a chance to hear
There will be love, there will be pain, there will be hope, there will be fear
And through it all, year after year
Stand or fall I will be right here for you

Confession .333.  Stand Or Fall, I Will Be Right Here For You...

For those that may not know, i had my (SL) daughter Fallon back at the end of the September. i’ve not ‘featured’ her here before now because she’s a Zooby, and i know some have conflicting views on that, and pregnancy in SL, and families in SL in general. But with the hype around the upcoming Zooby pregnancy body, i figured now would be a good time to let you in on another piece of my life, RL and SL.

i can’t have children in RL.

i know that’s a heavy thing to start with, but i feel like that’s the most important piece of the puzzle for you to understand why any of the rest of this is so important to me.

i went through my phase in SL like most people do… the “omg prim babies are creepy!” phase, and to be fair, the early prim babies WERE pretty creepy. Keep in mind, i’ve been on the grid, total, since 2008, so i’ve seen the evolution of a lot of things in SL, prim babies included.

When Zooby came out with their animesh babies, i remember notecarding Carrie this ridiculously emotional sappy mess, thanking her for bringing a pregnancy experience to SL with as much realism as she possibly could – especially for those of us who could potentially never experience that for themselves in RL.

(Before you say anything, yes i’m aware i can adopt a baby, perhaps even a newborn depending on where i am and the cirumstances of the children in the system at the time. So i know i may still get to experience some of these things in my RL. For right now, though, it’s not a possibility.)

And as soon as those animesh babies went live for real, i picked mine up. Like, almost immediately. i wasn’t pregnant at the time, i hadn’t been talking to anyone about getting pregnant, but i knew i wanted to at some point in the future. Because i’d tried before.

See, i guess i’ve always been the hopeless romantic type… i wanted a father for a child that would be present, even a mesh child and even in a virtual platform. So i didn’t consider pregnancy until i was involved in a relationship. But fate being what it was, or perhaps my then-poor-taste in men, without fail somewhere during the pregnancy, the relationship would end and i wouldn’t be able to bring myself to continue. The one time i tried was because He had taken a step out of SL to take care of some RL emergencies and thought He would be back. But once He deleted His avatar, i just couldn’t do it. Because the experience is incredibly emotionally-tied for me, given that, as of yet, i cannot do any of this in RL.

But this year, i wound up in a situation in which my HUD said i was pregnant after a random encounter with a friend. (Yes, just a friend, nosy-asses.) i was curious if i might be able to complete the process if i simply treated it as though it were a sperm donor situation, and just did it on my own. Not ideal, but plenty of women utilize sperm donation in RL when it isn’t their first choice but they still want to have children. i approached my friend and asked if it would make Him uncomfortable, and i got His ok.

That was how Fallon came to be.

i still have hope that i’ll be able to have another child (or children) within a loving relationship with a father who will be present (-coughs- Not foreshadowing at all….), but for now… i wouldn’t change anything about Fallon, even if i could.

She is one of the dearest parts of my SL, and one of my most profound experiences.

Shape || Mine
Body || Legacy Body (v1.3) | The Shops/The Mesh Project
Head || Lilly Head (v2.5) | Lelutka | free group gift until December 26th!
– You’ll find the head Here, Here, or Here, but NOT at the Mainstore. The mainstore is open for customers who want other things.
Skin || Alice Skin (Sand Tone) | Heaux
Hair || Jane Hairstyle (Deluxe HUD) | Doux
Dress || 2020 Holidays Dress | Blueberry | Shop & Hop | new!
Headpiece || Avril Waxflower Wreath (white red) | LODE
Collar || Kindred Collar | Cae

Backdrop || Christmas Winter Backdrop | Unicorn
Pose || Nana | MB Poses
– What i did to achieve Fallon laying in my arms was set her animation to sleep and then fit her so that when she rolled over onto her ‘side’, it looked like she was laying in my arms.

Baby || Zooby Animesh Baby Eden | Zooby

Blogging Tune || “Dear Daughter” – Halestorm

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