Am i broken? Am i flawed?
Do i deserve a shred of worth
Or am i just another fake, fucked up lost cause?
Am i human or am i something else?
Cause i’m so scared and there’s No One there
To save me from the nightmare that i call myself…
Here’s the scariest part of me – or one of them, anyway. You won’t know i’m upset or that something is wrong… until it’s REALLY wrong.
i’m finding more and more lately that when P/people ask me, “How are you?” that i open my mouth and i want to say, “i’m not ok,” but instead “i’m doing alright,” comes out. i find i can still function… get done what i need to get done… and seem perfectly fine. i’m not sure if this is a detriment or a superpower.
On one hand, it’s nice to not burden other P/people with my shit. That’s always been a bit of a concern of mine, being a burden, so it’s nice to just be able to ‘fake it til i make it’ in a way… act ok until i feel better. But on the other hand i’m not really being honest with A/anyone, and that leads me to feeling guilty.
Especially when it gets worse and manifests poorly, because i don’t have control of it anymore.
“Between the madness and the apathy, it seems there’s nothing left inside of me that’s good.”
“Feelings come, but they won’t go. Please won’t Someone take me home before i lose my mind?”
Shape || Mine
Body || Legacy (f) (v1.2) | The Mesh Project/The Shops
Head || Genus Head Baby Face W001 (v1.7) | Genus Project
Skin || Anais Skin (Toffee Tone) | Bold & Beauty
Hairbase || Slaysticka Hairbase | Revoul
* Hair || Allure Hair (B&W HUD) | Stealthic
* Top || Reachless Dress&Shirt | Blueberry
* Jeans || Keeper Flare Pants | Cynful | Collabor88 | recent!
Pose || Leaning (Stand) VOL2-4 | FoxCity
Location || Basilique
Blogging Tune || “Broken” – Anson Seabra