Posted in Events, Life, N21, New Releases

Confession .231. Is There A Way Out?

Did W/we light too many matches?
Turn O/ourselves into these ashes?
Did W/we throw it all away?
Did W/we throw it all away?

Confession .231.  Is There A Way Out?

I’m usually anti anything having to do with the Youtube algorithm, because of how often it screws over some of my favorite creators, but i DO have to say that the mixes it makes for me based on stuff i’ve listened to and stuff that it thinks sound similar are absolute fire.  (No pun intended…)

To Whom It May Concern:

Thank You for putting up with my shit.  i know You, more often than not, are stuck cleaning up E/everyone else’s mess… and none of that is fair to You.  Were i a stronger person, then You wouldn’t have so much to deal with so often – but i promise You, i’m trying.

Were i a more calm person, You wouldn’t be the place that i needed to come to vent.  Or, at least, not as often.  But i promise You, i’m trying.

Were i a more secure person, You wouldn’t be needing to reassure me as often as i feel like i ‘make’ You.  But i promise You, i’m trying.

Were i a more experienced person, You wouldn’t have to educate me on how things… operate… from this side of the community.  Sometimes i feel like some kind of poser, that this is truly the first time i’ve felt anything for Someone that could be the least bit ‘inconvenient’ for me.  Non-traditional, if You will.  So this is uncharted territory, and i’m sure it’s not fun for You to have to explain and guide me through the most basic of things.  But i promise You, i’m trying.

Were i a more patient person, You wouldn’t feel like i judge Your process unfairly.  You wouldn’t feel questioned as often as You do, by my needing to understand and – again – my insecurities providing a need for reassurance.  But i promise You, i’m trying.

Were i a more centered person, You wouldn’t have as much work to do with me to allow me to be ready for You.  i hate feeling like a burden to Someone, and while i understand that if You ultimately thought it was too much, You wouldn’t be here, i still find myself feeling guilty about it.  But i promise You, i’m trying.

Were i a more perfect person – despite knowing true perfection doesn’t exist –  perhaps i would feel less like i don’t deserve You or Your kindness or anything that comes along with it.  And maybe then i wouldn’t try so hard to push You away.  But i promise You, i’m trying.

i am a work in progress – i always have been – but believe me when i say that never before have i known something to be so worth trying for.  i’m not sure where the hell You came from, but i can only tell You that i’m glad You’re here.


Shape || Mine
* Head || Blueberry Head (v3.2) | Catwa
Body || Lara Body (4.1) | Maitreya
Skin || Miranda Skin (Mixedtype Tone) | Deetalez
Lipstick || Essential Lipsticks (Reds) | Pink Fuel | former Powder Pack item
* Hair || Avela & Airy B Bangs (Red) | Stealthic
* Tattoo || Alisha Tattoo (shown on 75% opacity) | Letis Tattoo | N21 | new!
* Bra&Panties || Widowmaker Lingerie Set | Cynful

Pose || Portrait 2 | FoxCity

Location || Home

Blogging Tune || “Walk Through The Fire” – Zayde Wolf ft. Ruelle

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