Confession .229. Integrity, Faith, and Crocodile Tears…

i can’t breathe, i can’t be
i can’t be what You want me to be
Believe me this one time
Believe me

When it gets cold in the South, that’s when you know winter is ‘officially’ here. When i, in Southern Alabama, get cold, that means it’s winter. -laughs- And my favorite Papillon market sim just changed over to winter and snow this week as well, so that’s what came as the inspiration for this photo.

As for the song? Honestly? Most of the time i feel like a failure. At anything and everything. But most importantly, at the things that mean the most to me.

Someone gets irritated with me all the time, because when i get into one of those headspaces, i will actually tell them i’m a terrible person, and a terrible submissive. And that it’s probably best They learn that now, before They invest feelings, etc. i have been told for so long that these things are true, that they are what comes out when i am at my lowest points, emotionally.

To the point that sometimes i question what is true and what isn’t. Am i truly a bad person with an over-inflated sense of self in the times when i feel good about myself? Or am i a good person with self-esteem issues? And that’s a war that’s waged on in my head for as long as i can remember.

For what it’s worth – i’m sorry. This Person deserves someone amazing, and i want to believe i can be that… but still i keep wondering… am i a work in progress, or just a bad liar?

Shape || Mine
* Head || Blueberry Head (v3.2) | Catwa
Body || Lara Body (v4.1) | Maitreya
Skin || Miranda Skin (Mixedtype Tone) | Deetalez
* Hair || Adrena (Reds) | Exile Hair | Collabor88 | recent!
* Dress || Yule Sweater Dress | Just Because | Uber | new!
Boots&Legwarmers || Pet Platforms (Black) | Sweet Thing
EarMuffs&Scarf&Gloves || Cozy Winter Set (Tabby Cat) | Sweet Thing

Bench || Streetside Bench | Dysfunctionality
Sign || Free Skates | What Next
Tree || Pine Tree with Snow | Mesh Plants
Tree || Frilly Pine 03 | Dysfunctionality
Tree || Fir Tree A | hive
Ground Snow || Big Snow Pile | Dysfunctionality