Posted in Events, FaMeshed, Kustom 9, Life, New Releases, Poetry, Salem

Confession .217. I Want To See You Smile, But Know That Means I’ll Have To Leave…

When the morning comes, when W/we see what W/we’ve become
In the cold light of day, W/we’re a flame in the wind, not the fire that W/we’ve begun…
Every argument, every word that W/we can’t take back
Cause with all that has happened, I think W/we both know the way that this story ends…

Confession .217.  I Want To See You Smile, But Know That Means I'll Have To Leave...

Today, because it’s oddly appropriate with this photo, I’ll be sharing the last of the 3 pieces I performed at BOI’s Beyond the Rainbow event.  This was the first piece I read at the event, and the first that I wrote, but the last one that I’m sharing with you.  As I’m sure, when you read it, you might understand why it needed a… particular… photo to feel appropriate.  *Grins*

(Original work by Harmony – written 9/21/18)

Elude me.
A special kind of infuriating – I believe – was my initial decree. Boi, please. All I know now is something about you crawls deep within each stirring of my fragile mind.
Every insecurity played relentlessly on repeat.

I remember a story my mother used to tell me about the first time she saw a dead body.
Studying nursing – each tendon laid before her like a puppet string – and some even chose to pull… letting fingers move of their own accord in morbid display of a human’s inner workings.
She always thought it was the coolest thing.

I don’t think she’d be so amused to see it happening among the living.

You see – with ease – You pull me open, and – craving release – I allow you. I allow myself to be laid bare before You – on a platter to devour, I believe were Your words – but in this hour, on this day, I wonder… am I really enough?

Could I ever be that missing piece, allowing You to wander freely within the space between each nerve ending that makes up a tattered mind?

All my life I’ve been taught that you work hard for what you want – but no one ever tells you what to do when follow-through isn’t black and white like ink on pages, empty declarations- it’s an enigma. And one that I can’t sort through.

So I turn to You.

A special kind of infuriating – I repeat – my initial decree. Boi, please. All I know is that now I need You deep within each stirring of my fragmented mind.
Every insecurity played relentlessly on repeat – open for You to see and even reach between to pluck the tendons and make fingers dance for You. A haunting strum that quickly becomes the soundtrack to my own personal nightmare.

You tell me to be still and trust Your way – but when I’m navigating the maze of cryptic and vague, tell me how am I supposed to remember the things that You forgot to say? How are they supposed to ease me?

A special kind of infuriating.
You *completely* elude me.
Every FUCKING insecurity played relentlessly on repeat.
And I can’t help but feel like You’re laughing at me.

Shape || Mine
Body || Lara Body (v4.1) | Maitreya
Skin || Miranda Skin (Mixedtype Tone) | Deetalez
Eyes || Demon Eyes | Izzie’s | Salem | new!
Face Makeup || Glowskull (Female) | MJN
– This applier fatpack comes with a specifically female version in Catwa and Omega, as well as a Unisex version in Catwa and Omega.  While the black remains black in each option, the fatpack comes with 6 different colors to choose from for the colored portions, allowing you to match with any sort of outfit/vibe you’re going for.
Face&Body Blood || Slit Throat | Izzie’s | Salem | new!
* Hair || Fleeting (B&W) | Stealthic | Kustom9 | recent!
* Dress || Franky Mesh Dress | Rebel Hope | FaMESHed | new!
Facial Piercings || Bento Piercing Set 03 | Suicidal Unborn

Pose || Portrait 2 | FoxCity

Location || Pendle Hill

Blogging Tune || “Happier” – Marshmello ft. Bastille


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