Confession .200. We Can Dive Down Deeper Instead…

I kissed a stranger in a white dress
She put a crown on top of my head
Said every King needs a Queen in His bed…

Forgive me if I get a little ranty tonight… there’s a particular piece of a conversation with a former friend that has been stuck in my head and really grinding me the wrong way. I thought after having slept on it, I’d feel better about it… but I don’t, really… so here is my response…

It was recently said to me that if I “only knew” how much ‘time’, ‘care’, and ‘affection’ that a damn-near stranger had put into my ‘situation’, then I would – if I was able – feel deep shame over the way I reacted to several things she had said to me over the past few days.

First of all…

My ‘situation’ that is being discussed here is Draconis disappearing, deleting His avatar, etc. We’ve gone over it… not going to re-hash it. If you’re new here, scroll back a few posts, I explained the whole thing, then you can come back here when you’re caught up. ♥

Secondly… excuse you? No one, and I mean absolutely *no one* gets any kind of CREDIT for the strides I’ve made in my ‘situation’ (*eyerolls*) other than people who have actually been THERE for me, and myself – because ultimately I am the one doing the work. My true friends, and my family, have been there as the most amazing support… however I have been the one to put in the work.

So how exactly are you going to sit there and tell me that a few IMs with the literal not-even-a-word, “sg?” asking me if I’m going to go to a support group is sooooo much ‘time’, ‘care’, and ‘affection’. No. This group of people cares when it suits them, and they spend the rest of their time trading stories back and forth about people they’ve talked to – spreading other peoples’ business without those peoples’ consent. Gossiping like hens with each other – like their own little clique.

And they’ll bring you in for a minute… make you feel like you belong and you can trust them, enough that you’ll open up about what’s going on… and then they’ll just turn around and gossip about you behind your back and then try to shame you about how much they’ve tried to ‘help’ you when you point out that you don’t necessarily appreciate your personal stuff you’ve talked to them about being the topic of their evening discussions amongst each other. Like, heaven forbid you’d want those pieces of yourself kept private between you and the person you were speaking to.

*Another eyeroll*

So, shoutout to this little clique… here’s the attention you wanted. And you will never receive a thank you for the ‘time’, ‘care’, and ‘affection’ you put in – because frankly you didn’t. If you want to know what ACTUAL time, care, and affection looks like… maybe you should look to my family… my ride or die friends… and, perhaps the most surprising of all in a short period of time, Magnus. Because all of these people have gotten down into the thick of it with me and have been there…

Maybe you could take some lessons in integrity from these people. ♥

On Ronin…

Shape || Mine
Body || Freya Body (v5.0) | Belleza
Skin || Lisa Skin (Sun Tan Tone) | Studio Exposure
Body Water || Wet Body & Face | Izzie’s
Hair || Sandra (Browns) | Mina Hair
* Dress || Forever Berry (Short Dress; Straps) (Lilac) | Blueberry | The Epiphany | new!

On Magnus…

Shape || His
Body || Jake Body | Belleza
Skin || The Man Skin (Sandy Tone) | L’Etre
Hair || Enju (Dark Browns) | Argrace
Beard || Shaheen Bento Hipster | Ga.Eg Magnificient
Shirt || Lorenzo | Deadwool
Pants || Swear Slacks | Lapointe Bastchild
Watch || Nuvolari Chronograph | Deadwool