Posted in Collabor88, Events, Life, New Releases, Powder Pack for Catwa (December), The Chapter Four, Uber

Confession .163. Always Let The Bullshit Dominate My Focus…

Hey, we’re just kids, don’t it feel lovely
We sip rum and write songs til we feel funny
Outside til sunrise, we ain’t finished
Hey ma, give me five more minutes…

Confession .163.  Always Let The Bullshit Dominate My Focus...

Consider yourself warned.  Today is a little more serious.  Both in a good and a ‘sad’ way.  So, if that’s not your game today, then I’ll see you next time!  ♥

I haven’t really done the family thing much in SL.  I had a long-time friend… and when I say long-time, I mean that she had been my friend since I first came into SL in 2008… that we kinda adopted each other.  I took on her last name a few years ago and called her mama.  But when we had a falling out, I just didn’t really do the ‘parents’ thing, or the family thing.

I’m used to small families… and families that kinda keep to themselves.  That’s what happens in my RL, after all.  I don’t have a huge family, really.  I’ve got my mom, my step-dad… 3 step-sisters (though one has been disowned) and their kids… my dad’s sister and her two daughters… my mom’s two sister-in-laws and their kids… other than that, that’s pretty much it, aside from “related by marriage” situations.  That might seem bigger, but when you take into account that the only people whom I regularly talk to/see/etc are my mother and step-father… sometimes I get to talk to one of mom’s sister-in-laws, and sometimes I talk to dad’s sister and one of her daughters.  That’s like… a handful of people.

So I’m not used to a big family.  And I didn’t know if I’d like it.  My family doesn’t really come into your business, unless they feel the need to.  (Or unless it’s medical… cause we’re a family of nurses, doctors, MA’s, CNA’s, etc.)  I didn’t know if I could actually enjoy one of those big families that I’d seen in SL with 600 TT’s and 4 sets of grandparents and all these cousins and stuff.  And because I didn’t know if I could truly get into it, I just avoided it and stuck to myself.

Recently, I posted on my Facebook that planning my wedding really kinda clued me in to not having any family in SL.  Of course, my wonderful soro sisters flooded the post telling me I got them, and I love them to death for it.  But one thing that really hit me hard about the wedding is something that hits me hard in RL too… I didn’t have a dad to walk me down the aisle.  Just like in RL.  I’ve got my step-dad but he and I aren’t really close… and so when my dad died I had this, like, huge breakdown over never getting to walk down the aisle with him and have my father-daughter dance… that he’d never see whomever I chose to marry and get to tell me that at first he didn’t know if the guy was right for his little girl, but he sees how happy I am and can only hope that it continues.  You know… typical dad stuff.  I don’t get that in RL.  And so when I was looking at planning the SL wedding, it hit me hard that not only did I not have a dad to fill that role, I didn’t have a mom that I could cry to and be an emotional mess to about it – like I cry to my RL mom occasionally about the idea of dad and grandpa both being gone.

Anyway…

I did ask a male friend of mine whom I feel very close to to walk me down the aisle for my SL wedding (in April!  We actually planned a date and stuff!) and so that ‘problem’ was solved.  But even more than that… something else unexpected happened.

One of my now-former soro sisters had posted awhile back about maybe looking to adopt an adult kid in SL.  Keeping in mind all of the apprehensions I mentioned above about big families and families in SL in general… I still poked her.  I didn’t know her terribly well, but she was my Pledge Mistress and so I do feel like I got to grow closer with her than most of the other big sisters during pledge, just because she was the one that had to deal with my emotional mess when Pledge got hard.  We agreed to move slowly, cause I didn’t know a lot of her family members like that either, and we figured I’d hang around at family events that were open to guests and just see generally how I got along with everyone outside of a soro setting.

The more I got to talk to any of them, the more I liked them.  They were the ones I could most easily relate to, and I felt at ease and comfortable around them… even enough to poke fun at Bonez a few times.  *Grins*

So all of that just to say, I have a family!  Lol.  A big old family with 600 aunts and all the cousins in the world.  *laughs*  And I couldn’t be happier, honestly.  I already feel like the baby of the family sometimes… where, like, everything a baby does is adorable, regardless of how normal it is?  I forgot that when you change your name, it doesn’t show up to everyone at the same time, so I relogged yesterday after changing my name and as soon as I came online, one of my aunties IMs me “awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww”.  Lol!

I don’t know if I would have liked a big family if it weren’t made up of these wonderful ladies, and Bonez.  Lol.  But here I am, and it’s nice to kinda have this group of people you feel like will always be in your corner, regardless.  That’s something I’ve always had in small amounts in my SL, with a few close friends… but to feel like I have it en masse now… I dunno.  It’s a different feeling.  And it’s nice.

Thank you, mama, for putting up with my ass during Pledge, and for choosing to put up with me as your daughter beyond that.  I promise to terrorize you JUST enough to remind you what a daughter is like.  But of course, on top of that, to love you always!  ♥

“I don’t know how all these beautiful chocolate women keep having these light-skinned, red-headed babies, but we’re gonna make it work!”


Shape || Mine
Head || Catya Head (v3.0) | Catwa
* Skin || Natalia Skin (Medium #1) | Essences | Powder Pack for Catwa (December)
* Eyeshadow/Liner || Jordin Set Eyeshadow | AviGlam | Powder Pack for Catwa (December)
* Lipstick || Bewitched Lips (Send more Nudes Edition) | Adored | Powder Pack for Catwa (December)
* Hair || Slow Dancing (Reds) | Exile Hair | Collabor88 | new!
Top || Patty Top | Envious | Marketplace | L$100 MP Promo!
Jeans || Fortuna High-waisted Flare Jeans (Medium Blue) | SPIRIT | Uber | recent!
* Earrings&Necklace || Celestial | Cae | The Chapter Four | new!
Collar || Inked Collar | RealEvil Industries
Nails&Rings || Elektra Rings & Nails | RealEvil Industries

Bench || Yorkshire Bench | Apple Fall

Backdrop || Another I didn’t write down before I left.  Will replace the name here soon.  Sorry, I suck.

Poses || included in Bench

Location || Backdrop City (Nature Section)

Blogging Tune || “Just Kids” – Two Friends ft. Kevin Writer

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