Posted in Designer Circle, eBento, Events, Kinky Event, Life, New Releases

Confession .159. But If You Keep Second Guessing Then There’s Only Gonna Be One End…

So I’ve been thinking that I think too much
And I can’t sleep, but I can dream of us
And I’ve been seeing shit like horror cuts
It’s burning down… I gotta drown this out…
And You said You need me to let this go
But it’s who I am, or am I just losing it?
Cause You said ‘jump’ and I went first, but falling’s always been my downfall…

I don’t really know what to say in this post… which is ironic because I’ve been offline for almost a week, so there should be lots to say, right?  Like, I’m behind…

But I dunno… I just got home from a mini vacation to Mississippi this weekend, so maybe there are some stories to talk about there.

First of all, I’m a frustrating drunk.  I’ve figured this out this weekend, and my apologies to anyone reading this who has ever had to deal with tipsy Deia or drunk Deia.  Good lord.

Also, I’m a hormonal mess, and I can’t quite figure out why?  Maybe it’s the approach of tomorrow, which would have been my grandmother’s birthday, or the ‘holiday’ season in general… but like, I’m just a mess.  The casino had a Big Band era concert of the Beverly Belles (you may have heard of them if you’re from the LA or Denver area)… and the very end of their show was a tribute of patriotic songs and taking turns singing the songs of each branch of the military.

I just sat there and cried.  Now, granted, my late grandfather and late father were military, and they were who I was thinking about… but to just burst into tears at the Navy and Army songs is something I don’t normally do in the 3 and 4 years since their death.  Not to mention the fact that I started crying during the Air Force theme… so I don’t know what the hell was wrong with me.

And one of the singers passed me, I was on the aisle, and put her hand on my shoulder and gave me that look… that look like I was a widow… or a kid who’d JUST lost a parent, and I’m over here like, “No… I didn’t lose someone recently… I’m just a hormonal mess and can’t figure out why…”

I hate pity.  But undue pity is even worse.

Overall, though, it was a nice weekend away.  And it’s the first time I’ve experienced snow in about 3 year or so… so that was nice too… cause it was just enough to be like, “Omg it’s snowing,” but not enough to cause problems.  Well, for Southerners it probably caused problems, but we had just gotten to the casino and parked the car about the time it started coming down, so we didn’t have to deal with any of that.

I even saw a movie this weekend… in a theater… which is something I haven’t done since college.  We went to see Wonder… and I cried through that whole thing too.  I have no idea what’s wrong with me…

(I promise you I’m not pregnant.  Lol.  Don’t ask.)

Maybe it’s just some combination of the meds I’m taking.  *Shrugs*  But overall, it was a nice weekend, and we’re actually talking about heading back that direction around the time of my RL birthday weekend, because Smash Mouth is playing a concert at the Hard Rock on my birthday.  Smash Mouth isn’t, like, “Omg my favorite!”, but an actual concert is another thing I haven’t done in yeeeeeears.  (Despite living about 15 miles from the Hangout Music Festival every year…)


Shape || Mine
Head || Catya Head (V3.0) | Catwa
* Skin || Suzie Applier (America Tone) | Glam Affair | Kinky Event | recent!
* Hair || Anyway (Reds) | Exile Hair | Ebento | new!
* Dress || Bree Dress | Blueberry | new!
* Boots || Masumi Heels | Breathe | The Chapter Four | recent!
Collar || Inked Collar | RealEvil Industries
* Necklace || Cadence Necklace | Slipper Originals | Designer Circle | new!

Pose (standing) || Lolita 3 | FoxCity
Pose (kneeling) | Lolita 2 | FoxCity

Location || Elysion

Blogging Tune || “Gravity” – EDEN

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