Posted in Blogger Challenges, Events, Life, New Releases, The Epiphany

Confession .148. We Swear We’re Alive, But We’re Falling To Pieces…

We fight like lions, we howl at the moon
We should be flying, instead we bury the truth
But I know inside, we’re beautiful creatures…

Confession .148.  We Swear We're Alive, But We're Falling To Pieces...

Before anyone starts reading and goes to make this comment… yes, I’m aware this is a deer onesie, not a goat.  *laughs*  However, the deer was the closest to a goat in this gacha set, so you gotta bear with me.  I did what I could with what was at my disposal.

Besides, it was only to be smartass-y about this particular topic anyway.  Lol.  Zodiac Signs!

Yep, I went poking around Strawberry Singh’s blog again today, and in trying to keep with the tradition of her weekly challenge, she issued another #SecondLifeChallenge on Monday, about your Zodiac Signs.  Now, based on my avatar’s birthday, Deia would be a Sagittarius… however because it’s myself driving the avatar, we’re going to go based on my RL birthday, which is January 19th, the last day of Capricorn.

People that are born in the first or last few days of a sign, I’ve been told, can exhibit traits of both signs, since you’re born on the “cusp” of those signs… where the planets are, like, transitioning?  I don’t study this stuff deeply, I’m only going on what I’ve been told.  So… as much as I can here, I’ll be using things here for both Capricorn and Aquarius – the sign that comes after mine, whom I was born on the ‘cusp’ of.

For consistency’s sake (read: laziness… lol) I’m going to be using the same website that Berry did, Astrology-Zodiac-Signs.Com, and I’m going to take information from their description of both Capricorn and Aquarius signs to answer the questions Berry posed in her post.

1.) What is your Zodiac Sign?

I was born on the cusp of Capricorn and Aquarius, technically the last day of Capricorn… I explained the astrological craziness behind that above (if you’re skimming and didn’t read it.)

2.) Do you believe in Astrology and read your horoscope often?

Honestly, I don’t read my horoscope very often.  But, with my obsessive Aspie personality, when someone makes a comment about something I do or say that turns into some manifestation of, “You’re such a Capricorn,” or “Are you sure you’re not a full-on Aquarius?” then I go on a Google dive into traits of my sign, and wind up applying a lot of these descriptions to my life.

Now, that said, a lot of the descriptions applied to these signs are very general… so it’s easier to see yourself in them if you’re even remotely that way.  These aren’t incredibly specific traits that you can be like, “Omg how did they know?!”  It’s sort of like Mediums saying that they’re getting a last name that begins with S… some of the most common American last names begin with S, such as Smith… so more times than not, they’re going to pick up on someone reacting, and be able to go probe further.

However, that doesn’t mean that trying to find some sense of belonging and understanding in these traits is a bad thing, if that’s what you need to do.  I have my moments where I need to see it in black-and-white to fully understand it and feel better about it.  Perhaps that’s just my personality, but don’t feel afraid to go look into it if you’re curious.

3.) What are some of the traits of your zodiac sign and do you feel they reflect who you are?

This is where it will get a little bit tricky with me using both Capricorn and Aquarius information, but I’m going to try my damnedest to label them properly so you can follow what I’m saying/answering/talking about.

  • Capricorn Strengths: Responsible, Disciplined, Self-Control, Good Managers
    • For the most part, I agree with a lot of these.  One other thing that I usually find in most descriptions of a Capricorn is that they have this intense sense of Duty… which I suppose here could be lumped in with Responsible or Disciplined.  But for me, I definitely relate to that intense sense of Duty, enough so that it is my detriment.  I tend to disagree with the self-control bit, but that’s also the Aspie in me that loses most of that control, so I don’t fault the system for defining me “improperly”.  It’s interesting here that it specifically mentions Good Managers.  I know some that would agree, and others that lost the opportunity to find out.  *Chuckles*
  • Aquarius Strengths: Progressive, Original, Independent, Humanitarian
    • Now, my mother is a true Aquarius… and in raising me, she always taught me that I had to be Independent, like she was… mostly so that if I ever found myself in a situation like she did (toxic relationship that wasn’t good for herself, or her daughter, me) then I wouldn’t be forced to stay because I couldn’t be financially and emotionally/mentally independent.  So I definitely identify with that particular Aquarian trait.  I would also definitely call myself Original – and I know that others would too, as often as my ideas have been stolen and copied in the 9 years I’ve been in Second Life.  Lol.  Progressive and Humanitarian also fit me quite well as well.
  • Capricorn Weaknesses: Know-it-All, Unforgiving, Condescending, Expecting the Worst
    • Some of you are nodding at all of those, however you’d be wrong for some of them… or, at least if you think I’m all of those things just because I’m a cunt, then you’d be wrong.  *Laughs*  I will fully own up to being incredibly Unforgiving, but let’s go back to that whole “intense sense of Duty” thing in a Capricorn.  One thing I read on one of the other Capricorn pages on this website is that Capricorn’s are often very loyal, and don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t be.  That tends to be where my unforgiving nature comes in… I’m a loyal, responsible person who always tries the best in everything I do, and tries to help people… the moment you take advantage of that, or prove to be disloyal or irresponsible with the trust I give you, you can damn well bet I’m going to remember that, and likely not let it go.  Part of that is the Aspie obsessive personality, however part of that is just that I’m a loyal person and don’t have time for people who aren’t.  I will also fully agree that I Expect the Worst all the damn time.  It comes with the territory of having been hurt as much as I have… you just grow to expect it.  As for Know-It-All and Condescending, that is definitely entirely subjective.  I know some people who would say I’m incredibly condescending, but I can think of a few situations specifically in which that impression would be reached from a combination of them misunderstanding what I’m communicating and my inability to communicate it properly.  That, and if your joke is offensive to you when it’s turned back around on you, maybe it wasn’t such a joke after all.
  • Aquarius Weaknesses: Runs from Emotional Expression, Temperamental, Uncompromising, Aloof
    • Um.  Yep.  Ironically, the name of this blog, Alexithymia?  It’s actually a personality type where you find it difficult to identify and express your feelings.  So I’d very much agree with the idea of ‘running from emotional expression’.  Though I kinda bounce back and forth between completely bottling up every emotion cause I can’t figure out how to express it, and just letting it all kinda word-vomit itself out simply because I have no idea how to PROPERLY express them, and they’ve been bottled up way too long.  I will also openly own being Uncompromising in certain situations.  If you bring me in to do a job, and I have a method for doing that job that works for me and has worked well in the past, I’m incredibly stubborn against someone trying to change that up.  I’m not a person who likes to be mirco-managed and will be openly bull-headed in those situations.  Lol.
  • Capricorn Likes: Family, Tradition, Music, Understated Status, Quality Craftsmanship
    • I’m not sure what it means by “understated status” so I’m going to skip that one.  Everything else, I will absolutely say yes to.  I value family, and the closeness of those that are my ‘chosen’ family as well… tradition means a lot to me – though bearing in mind that my inner-Aquarius is Progressive as well… I LOVE music, as that helps combat the Alexithymia (why do you think I put a song in every post?)… and I’m a picky bitch when it comes to the quality of anything I make or buy… which is why you’ll never see anything featured in this blog that I wouldn’t buy – regardless of whether it was my own purchase or if it was a copy given to me as a part of a blogger team.
  • Aquarius Likes: Fun with friends, Helping Others, Fighting For Causes, Intellectual Conversation, A Good Listener
    • Again.  Yep.  Lol.  I love having fun with my friends when they drag me off my platform/out of my house… helping others and fighting for causes is kinda my purpose in life in general, let alone in my Second Life… I definitely prefer intellectual conversation to the boring same-old lines that people still thing works… and when I’m having a bad day, I definitely value someone who can just sit there, smile and nod, and just listen without trying to fix it.  Sometimes you can’t fix it, but listening will make me feel tons better.
  • Capricorn Dislikes: Almost everything at some point
    • All I have to say is… lmao.  This is definitely me, perfectly.  I have days where I hate everyone and everything, and it would be best if everyone just left me alone for awhile.  Those days when I want to just crawl in a hole and pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist.  I’m just still getting a good laugh at how perfect that wording is. “Almost everything at some point.”  YEP.
  • Aquarius Dislikes: Limitations, Broken Promises, Being Lonely, Dull or Boring Situations, People Who Disagree With Them
    • This also pretty much reads like me to-a-T.  Though disliking limitations is kinda situational… I hate it when I’m working on something, because I feel like I have to have space – figurative or literal – to think and work within to get the job done the best way possible that I can do… that whole hating being mirco-managed thing again.  But in the same breath, I appreciate that limits that Master places on me, when necessary.  Broken Promises are a huge thing for me as well… once you break a promise or lie to me, that’s pretty much it.  My trust is gone, and it’s damn near impossible to get it back.  And the unfortunate part of that is if we do try to work through it, the obsessive part of my Aspie-ness is going to keep obsessing over that broken promise, and the ‘Running from emotional expression’ part of my Capricorn-ness is going to make me want to run away from the fear that you’ll break another one… but then my Aquarian dislike of Being Lonely keeps me around.  My brain and heart are almost constantly conflicted, if you couldn’t figure that out through all of this yet.  Lol.

While Berry only examined those 4 areas to ‘keep it short’ mine wound up being much longer than I intended.  Of course, part of that is because I was analyzing traits from two different signs in the third question… however, the other part of it is just because I’m long-winded.  But if you’ve been here for any length of time, you know that.  LOL.

Shape || Mine
Head || Chloe Bento Head (v3.0) | Lelutka
* Skin || Becca Skin (Midtone) | Lara Hurley
Eyes || Hurt Eyes | Izzie’s
* Eyeshadow || included in Becca skin pack | Lara Hurley
* Freckles || included in Becca skin pack | Lara Hurley
* Lipstick || included in Becca skin pack | Lara Hurley
Hair || Cherry Hair (The Light; Hot Mess; Hoodfit) | Little Bones
Onesie || Wild Things Gacha Deer Onesie (#2) | Reign | The Epiphany | new!
* Heels || Thora Heels Fatpack Rare | Breathe | The Epiphany | new!
Collar || Inked Collar | RealEvil Industries
Rings&Nails || Elektra Nails & Rings | RealEvil Industries

Backdrop&Pose || Horrorfest Backdrops (Psychatric Hospital; Gold) | Astralia | The Epiphany | new!
– Edit: Cause I forgot to mention this, in the close up photo I used AnyPose to edit the right arm and bring it down, so the close up photo is not the original pose included with the backdrop.  The full body photo, however, is.

Location || Backdrop & You

Blogging Tune || “Beautiful Creatures” – Illenium ft. MAX

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