Confession .117. Life Ain’t Always Fair, But Hell Is Living In Resentment…

Had a Boogieman under my bed
Putting crazy thoughts inside my head
Always whispering, “It’s all your fault.”
He was telling me, “No, you’re not that strong.”

So. Safe to say I’ve been screwed over a lot. Like… this might not sound like me, but I have this… inkling… to give people the benefit of the doubt far more often than I should. And as such, I suppose that makes me easy to take advantage of.

And yet… when I find I am taken advantage of, I’m STILL angry at the people who do it. As if I had nothing to do with letting them roll me over.

Hell, even now… I’m still ‘working’ for someone who disappeared for most of the last 6 months, paid me for the work I’ve been doing for a total about a month and a half out of those 6 months, and everything I do still has to go through them… so you can imagine how much of a nightmare that’s been, with them mostly MIA. And yet… here I am still.

But even more than that… I seem to get REALLY fired up when you fuck over my friends. Like… I have someone I once considered to be a VERY close friend in SL… and she seemed to have the stereotypical perfect relationship. Like, sure, they weren’t ACTUALLY perfect… but they made it work. They and I lost touch… and then I start seeing some shady shit going on with a few “business” partnerships that the male made separately from my friend… and now magically that friend has left SL with a rather emotional, hurt, heartbroken goodbye, and this male is now with one of the heads of one of those business partnerships.

Not to mention, there were indications in SL that they were ‘together’, or at the very least ‘hooking up’, before he and my friend broke up and my friend left.

Like… I’m sorry… but cheaters are some of the WORST people in my book, second only to liars. And to be a cheater makes you a liar, so you’re pretty high up there on my shit list, whether you’re cheating on me or someone close to me. You’re a piece of shit. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

And recently, they decided to make this relationship ‘public’… and while everyone was saying “Congratulations” and “Finally”, I’m over here like, “Are we really surprised that he’s finally coming public with his mistress?” (Little ‘m’… in the cheating sense… not the BDSM sense…)

Like… what kind of person do you have to be to mess around on someone you supposedly love? And what kind of person do you have to be to go after someone who is not only taking in SL by this person, but in RL as well?

At least you two are made for each other, I guess… in both being equally garbage human beings.

And this is stuff that makes me angry… because the friend of mine affected by all this is a good person. She doesn’t deserve any of this shit… and yet two selfish, shitty people are doing this to her/have done this to her.

And it takes everything I have to breathe deeply, leave this here, and just let it go from there. Because while I thoroughly believe that these two people are garbage people, there will always be garbage people in the world. There will always be people who are willing to fuck over someone else for their own gain, and not care who they’re hurting in the process. And as hard as that might be to just breathe through and let go, you have to.

Because I’m not sure how I feel about religion… but hell… true hell? Is living your life stuck in a resentment you can’t seem to shake.

Easier said than done… cause these two people still irritate me to no end with what they’ve done to this person who didn’t deserve it, and now to flaunt it around like they didn’t do anything wrong… but as long as I keep breathing, I can keep letting it go, even if I need to let it go more than once.

Just keep breathing.

Shape || Mine
Head || Chloe Bento Head (v2.7) | Lelutka
* Skin || Becca (Dark Tone) | Lara Hurley
* Eyeshadow || Rainbow Unicorn Eyeshadow (ver. 5) | Studio Exposure | Powder Pack Lelutka (August) | new!
* Eyelashes || Lure Lashes (Black) | AviGlam | Powder Pack Lelutka (August) | new!
* Lipstick || Rainbow Unicorn Lipglossy (ver. 8) | Studio Exposure | Powder Pack Lelutka (August) | new!
Eyes || Hurt Eyes | Izzie’s | Epiphany | new!
– There is a version of the heart eyes as a part of the machine itself, but the version I’m using is the one from the Exclusive. The Exclusive version comes with a more bloodshot version as well as the clean version I’m wearing.
* Hair || Margarita (Redhead) | Truth Hair | Uber | new!
– The flower in my hair is included with this hair, in versions for both the left and right side, with several color options in its own Accessory HUD.
* Dress || Delicate Mesh Dress | Rebel Hope | FaMESHed | new!
– The color I’m showcasing here is one of the bonus colors in the ‘Rebel Pack’/Fatpack. The Rebel Pack comes with all individual colors plus 4 bonus colors.
* Jewelry || Avery Collection | Cae | FaMESHed | new!