Confession .110. I Walk My Talk, No Time For Wishful Thinking…

And when You start to look at me, a physical fatality
And You surrender to the heat, You know
I can put on a show, I can put on a show
Don’t You see what You’re finding?
This is heaven in hiding.

Funny how I magically start blogging more often with that huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  Gee, it’s almost like that oppressive, abusive presence was affecting the day-to-day life of people y’all claim to care about, yeah?

Sorry… I’m still kinda grumpy it took so long for some people to see how this person is.

Like, look.  I’m the QUEEN of giving people way too many chances.  Like… as much as I’d like to believe I’m one of those people who can ascribe to “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me,” I’m not.  I get to the point where it’s like, “Fool me seven times and you know… maybe something isn’t right here…”

I give people the benefit of the doubt FAR too much.

But… when I’m done?  It’s like flipping a switch.  When I FINALLY discover that I’m being taken advantage of… that this person is just a horrible person and I’ve been rolling over and playing dead this whole time hoping they would change?  There is no longer any room for forgiveness there.  I’m done with that person.

They’re dead to me.

And I’m so used to being the last person to see someone for the douchebag that they are… that when I finally woke up and figured it out, and took it to people I trusted to keep the environment I was in safe… and they were like, “Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal,” I had to actually step back and be like, “Wait, what?”

And the months that it took, gathering the proof of the stuff that was going on.  The months it took of being panicked when in the same place, but not wanting that one person to ruin my friendships and my experiences in that community… the months I spent uncomfortable in my own ‘home’… it took so much of a toll on me.

By the time things were finally resolved, it was like… I was so weighted down.  I couldn’t creatively function because that side of me was so suppressed underneath everything I was trying to deal with… all the effort that it took to just handle life as it was… as I was convinced it would continue to be because these people didn’t see what I saw.

Finally, though.  I can breathe again.  I can feel safe again.  And I can move forward from here.

It’s an amazing feeling.  Even if it took ages to get here, it’s amazing to finally be here.


Shape || Mine
Head || Chloe Bento Head (v2.7) | Lelutka
* Skin || Giana Skin (T01) | Modish | Powder Pack for Lelutka (July) | new!
* Lipstick || included with Giana Skin Applier above
* Eyes || Signature Lelutka Eye Collection #3 | Mudskin | Powder Pack for Lelutka (July) | new!
Hair || Aschera Hair (Blondes) | Runaway Hair | Hair Fair | new!
Body || Lara Body (v4.1) | Maitreya
* Dress || Circe Gown (Azure) | Senzafine | We ❤ RP | new!
* Rings&Bracelets || Karen | Voluptas Virtualis | The Liason Collaborative | new!
– For a close-up of what the rings look like, you can see my last post.  I just wanted to include them again with the bracelet attachment this time, so you can see how they fit your wrists.

* Pose (close up) || The Martinique Series Three | an lar Poses | The Liaison Collaborative | new!
* Pose (full) || The Martinique Series One (m) | an lar Poses | The Liaison Collaborative | new!

Location || Elysion

Blogging Tune || “Heaven In Hiding” – Halsey

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s