Confession .51. Lord Knows You Can’t Trust Your Head When You’re Hanging By A Thread…

And I saw only two footprints in the sand
Though You’d abandoned me and let go of my hand
But You were carrying me, carrying me to safety…
Two footprints, Your footprints in the sand

I don’t think I would get through life and its general bullshittery without the people in my life right at this moment. Those of you that stick around… I can’t thank you enough.

As of right now… we still don’t have answers. Which is ultimately the most irritating thing in the world. Like… to be sitting right there with someone you care for in so much pain and not being able to do a damn thing to stop it, and knowing the doctors – at least his current ones – are trying… but… can’t try fast enough. This is the most powerless I’ve ever felt.

What the oncologist basically said Monday is… he doesn’t have enough tissue to confirm the suspected diagnosis (Lymphoma) or specify (non-Hodgkins, what type… etc) or stage it…

So basically, “I don’t have a damn clue right now. Sorry.”

However, Tuesday he had a PET scan done, and then Thursday the Oncologist will present his case before the tumor board (what?) and they will all basically sit around talking about my step-dad and the intimate details of his pancreas and his problems… and try to determine if they can get a diagnosis with what they’ve got, or if they need more tissue.

And if they need more tissue, they need to get it laproscopically.

Lord, give me strength.

Honestly? Bento could not have come to Firestorm and Lelutka at a better time. I’m one of those people that distracts myself from stressful things with throwing myself into work/activities, and so getting the Bento version of Simone Monday morning and spending the day making her pretty and more Tivi-like has been a great deterrent from crawling in a hole and kinda forgetting life exists for awhile.

I really don’t want to go back to that place again.

So, meet Bento-Tivi, my distraction and my doll. 🙂

*~* Confession .51. Lord Knows You Can’t Trust Your Head When You’re Hanging By A Thread… *~*

..:: Shape ::.. Mine – New December 2016!
..:: Head ::.. Simone Head 2.0 || Lelutka || new release!
..:: Skin ::.. Yulia (Bare; Cameo Tone; T2) || Lumae
..:: Eyeliner ::.. from Lillian skin applier HUD for Simone 2.0 || Glam Affair || new release!
..:: Hair ::.. Harmony (Reds) || Mina Hair & Empyrean Forge || FaMESHED || until 12/27
..:: Eyes ::.. Triumph Eyes (Ghost) || IKON
..:: Body ::.. Lara Body (v3.5) || Maitreya
..:: Hands ::.. Bento Prohands || Vista Animations || recent release!
..:: Gown ::.. Jada Dress (Steel) || Miss Chelsea || FaMESHed || until 12/27
..:: Collar ::.. Abide Collar || Cae