Confession .13. I’m Not Strong Enough

I’ve been sleepless at night
Cause I don’t know how I feel
I’ve been waiting on you
Just to say something real

“Who says truth is beauty after all?”

Confession #13. And rather than being an ‘unlucky’ confession of sorts, I figured I’d be no less real than I’ve been with the rest of them. I’m not strong enough. I’m not.

Even in all this armor, I’m not strong enough.

I work to build these walls around myself to stay safe… because when you’ve been through the colossal amount of shit that I have, sometimes these walls just feel necessary. Some of you have been there. You know the walls I mean. You have them too. And sometimes, even if for just a moment, they come down… and every damn time, I wind up hurt.

“Well, Tivi, then it’s probably safe to say you shouldn’t let those down anymore.” I wish it were that simple.

Sometimes I feel like the things I want are just the stupid dreams of a little girl with feelings. I said this on my Facebook last night, and I’m sure most of, if not all of you, had no idea what I meant. And I probably won’t explain it for awhile, because it seems incredibly silly.

But I’m not strong enough to deal with everything at once. I like to pretend I am. But I’m not.

And I’m not strong enough to be the only one working at this after 8 years. If there’s something there you want, you’ll come to me and you’ll tell me and we can try to salvage it. I’ve been working for 8 years. It’s time for you to do a bit of the footwork, if it’s worth it to you.

Sorry for the blah post today. It’s a bit of a blah day. But I just HAD to show you all this Berserker set from Zenith for Fantasy Gacha Carnival. Gorgeously made, as pretty much everything else Zenith makes.

I figured I’d better get dressed to fight a war… I’ve got my appointment with my surgeon tomorrow.

*~* Confession .13. I’m Not Strong Enough *~*

..:: Shape ::.. Mine
..:: Skin ::.. Merlou 08 (Neutre Tone) || AlterEgo || Fantasy Gacha Carnival
..:: Eyes ::.. Hope Eyes (Forest) || IKON
..:: Hair ::.. Ryleigh (Browns) || Truth Hair
..:: Body ::.. Lara Body (v3.5) || Maitreya
..:: Hands ::.. Lara Hands || Maitreya
..:: Nails ::.. Ballerina 2 || Formanails || new release!
* These nails are sold as versions for Classic avatar hands, Slink Casual, Slink Elegant, and Maitreya hands.
..:: Top/Breastplate ::.. Berserker Breastplate (Brown) RARE || Zenith || Fantasy Gacha Carnival
..:: Shorts&Belt ::.. Berserker Shorts with Belt (Brown) || Zenith || Fantasy Gacha Carnival
..:: Gloves ::.. Berserker Gloves (Brown) || Zenith || Fantasy Gacha Carnival
..:: Boots ::.. Berserker Long Boots (Brown) || Zenith || Fantasy Gacha Carnival
..:: Swords ::.. Swords of the Berserker (On back) RARE || Zenith || Fantasy Gacha Carnival