You Watch Me Bleed Until I Can’t Breathe…

Just like a moth drawn to the flame
Oh, you lured me in, I couldn’t sense the pain
Your bitter heart, cold to the touch
Now I’m gonna reap what I sow
I’m left seein’ red, on my own…

Stitches3FINAL

“Needle and thread, gotta get you outta my head.  Needle and thread, gonna wind up dead.”

I’m not even going to apologize anymore.  LOL.  This series is fun.  And this book is my latest obsession.  #SorryNotSorry.  😛

But seriously, though… this book is worth the investment.  My hardback was USD$18.  Best $18 I ever spent.

awhile, adv.

I love the vagueness of words that involve time.
It took him awhile to come back — it could be a matter of minutes or hours, days or years.
It is easy for me to say it took me awhile to know.  That is about as accurate as I can get.  There were sneak previews of knowing, for sure.  Instances that made me feel, oh, this could be right.  But the moment I shifted from a hope that needed to be proven to a certainty that would be continually challenged?  There’s no pinpointing that.
Perhaps it never happened.  Perhaps it happened while I was asleep.  Most likely, there’s no signal event.  There’s just the steady accumulation of awhile.

— “The Lover’s Dictionary” by David Levithan

Stitches1FINAL

awhile, adv.

My sense of time is all sorts of convoluted.  And maybe that’s because when you’re in an environment like SL, it’s more socially acceptable to spent mass quantities of time with people at once.  Depending on your RL situation, I have heard of several situations in which SL lovers have spent 8 hours together in one sitting.

I’ve done that myself.

In RL… that might be a little weird to see.  An 8-hour date.  Especially within the first month or so, when you’re still getting to know each other.  I mean, how would you keep each other entertained? Would you really sit in the restaurant for 8 hours?  Would you sit in the movie theater parking lot for an additional 6 hours after a 2 hour movie?  Would you spend 8 hours walking around a park?  Could you find 8 hours worth of conversation with the pressures of social convention of actually being in public physically around other people, rather than in a simply IM box/Skype call?

I found myself saying to him the first time we disagreed about something (Well, something that wasn’t The Walking Dead, anyway)… anyway, I found myself saying, “You should know me well enough to know that if I tell you xyz, then I meant xyz.”  And he brought up that I mentioned that, when in reality, while it might /feel/ like a long time, he disappeared for awhile, and even since we’ve begun talking again, we spend large chunks of time together, but we still haven’t known each other all that long.

It just feels longer.

And maybe that’s also because we started in this weird situation where there were few, if any, walls between us.  Conversing just came naturally, as did trusting each other.  He would say, “Tell me a secret,” and my mind immediately tried to think of something I’d never told anyone… without questioning whether I could trust him with that secret.  I just… knew I could.  I didn’t know why I knew I could.  I just knew I could.

Maybe this is what ‘awhile’ means… and why it’s so vague.  Trying to qualify how well you know someone by the quantity of hours, minutes… days… weeks… months… years… you’ve spent with them, talking to them, knowing them… sometimes can be deceiving.  I can talk to someone for hours, but how much I know is dependent upon the depth of the conversation.

So how long have I known Him?  Awhile.  How long have I felt pulled towards Him?  Awhile.  How long do I hope this feeling lasts?  Awhile.  🙂

Stitches2FINAL

*~* You Watch Me Bleed Until I Can’t Breathe… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Chrissy Applier for Lelutka Head (Ivory Tone) || Swallow
Eyes: Deadshine Eyes (Wight; Natural Pupil) || IKON
Hair: Lucrecia (Gingers) || Truth Hair
Head: Stella Head (v1.3) || Lelutka
Body: Lara Mesh Body (v3.4) || Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Casual) || Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Glitter Silver Set (Black) || Nailed It
Eyeshadow Applier: Smokey Eyes (Black) || Arise
Lipstick Applier: Winterberries Lips || Zibska
Dress: Melon Collie Dress (Grey) || Vinyl || Uber || new release!
* Sizes XXS-L/Maitreya/Slink/Isis/Freya included; Hud to change Top & Slip Color
Shoes: Nikko Sneakers || Pure Poison || Uber || new release!
* Fitted for Standard avi/Freya/Isis&Venus/Maitreya/Slink/TMP versions included; Color HUD
Septum Piercing: Dark Queen Septum Ring (P6) || RealEvil Industries
Necklace: Jezebel’s Body Chains (Black) || The Forge || Uber || new release!
Rings: Persephone Rings (Obsidian) || ieQED
Tattoo: Midnight In Paris || White Widow
* Belleza/Maitreya/Slink/Omega/TMP/Slink/Sking Brazilia Doll versions; NO standard layer

Bench (photo 2): Living Rose Arbor Bench || meadowWorks
Pumpkins (photo 2): Pumpkin Mix 2015 || Dysfunctionality
*Comes in group (pictured left) & several single pumpkins (like cat-face shown on bench)
Tree Hat Stand (photo 2): Gnarled Tree Stand With Hats || Dysfunctionality || new release!*
* Won with “Hocus Pocus”.  TP to the mainstore and say “Hocus Pocus” to the chest.  If you win, congratulations!  If you don’t, you can try again in 24 hours.  If you get impatient, you can purchase the set for L$50.  Hocus Pocus began 10/30 and runs for 10 days!
* Comes with Tree Stand With Hats, Without Hats, and Wearable Hat!

Pose (photo 1): moody_eight || oOo Studios
Pose (photo 3): pose 234 || -slouch-

Location: Duet

Blogging Tune: “Stitches” (Acoustic) – Shawn Mendes & Hailee Steinfeld

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