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I’m Standing Right Here Waiting For You…

I just want you to look at me
And see that I can be worth your love
I just want you to look at me
And see that I can be
Good enough…


“I feel like I walked five thousand miles and didn’t even come close.”

Yep.  So there’s that.  That’s sorta my head lately.  This whole song is sorta my head lately, aside from the fact that it’s not exactly a father figure.  Haha.  (Yes, I’m aware that is the ENTIRE premise of the song, pretty much.  Take the message generally, and you have my life.)

Probably one of the biggest criticisms that people have had for me in my life is that I give far too much of a damn what other people think of me.  And I will be the first to admit they’re right, in most situations.  I care.  I hate that I care, but I still care.  I care how I’m viewed by people.  I care the kind of idea they have about me.  And I care about how that affects me, directly or indirectly.

Now, does that stop me from doing/saying things?  Sometimes yes and sometimes no.  One brief perusal through this blog will tell you I don’t really mince words and I rarely pull punches when it comes to stuff I believe in.  But if you really knew the stuff I wrestle around with in my head on a daily basis?  Most of you would probably laugh at me.  “Tivi, why do you care so much?”

I have ZERO idea.

Sometimes caring has positive affects, though.  Caring causes me to grow.  Because receiving feedback, and taking it to heart, and trying to genuinely apply it to my life… that can be a very good thing.

I remember when my journey first started with Miss Virtual World first started this year, it seemed like the universe was already testing me by dumping a metric shit-ton of drama at my doorstep.  And in a desperate fit of fist-clenching and sitting on my hands, I reached out to Eleseren and asked, “How do you bite your tongue when it just… isn’t right?”  What resulted was an amazing conversation that left me feeling much better about how to move forward with those specific situations, and my journey in general, but there was one specific piece of advice that has stuck out significantly from that day, and every day since…

“Remember, they’re looking for a First Lady.”

And from there, I’ve done my best to grow in those aspects of my life that may have been less than “First Lady” material.  There are changes that one can make, to grow as a person, that do not change who you are… they do not compromise you as an individual… but they make you a better version of yourself.  And for good reasons.

That day, and every day since, that what I’ve worked to be.  And I do hope that shows.


*~* I’m Standing Right Here Waiting For You… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Yolandi (Artic Tone; Makeup Option 04) || Glam Affair
Body: Lara Mesh Body (v3.3) || Maitreya
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) || IKON
Hair: Emerson (light blondes) || Truth Hair
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant 1) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) || Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Half-Glitter Fall 2015 (Red) || -{ZOZ}- || Rock Your Rack
Eyeliner: London Liner (Black Eyeliner Only) || Madrid Solo
Lipstick: Essential Lipsticks (Red; Matte; Dark) || Pink Fuel
Top: Dalena (Red; Printed; Maitreya version) || Blueberry
* Clean & Printed Versions; 5 Standard Sizes; Maitreya; Slink; Venus, Isis, & Freya
Pants: Rene (Grey; Regular; Maitreya version) || Blueberry
* Regular & Tucked Versions; 5 Standard Sizes; Maitreya; Slink; Venus, Isis, & Freya
Heels: Mina Heels || KC Couture
Nosechain: Of the Plains (Gold) || Soedara
Rings (Right Hand): Accessories Rings (Gold) || FORMANAILS
* Fitted specifically for Slink Elegant 1 Hand

Pose (photo 1): PR Walk F 1 || Vestige
Pose (photo 2): Glow 05 || Ma Vie

Location: -{ZOZ}- Mainstore

Blogging Tune: “Good Enough” – Jussie Smollett & Empire Cast

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