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Teacher, I Feel The Dots Connecting…

Beat down on me, beat down like a waterfall
Cause I can take on so much more than I had every dreamed
Beat down on me, beat down like a waterfall
Cause baby I am ready to be free…


I’ve been listening to this song for days.  I’ve also had these pictures edited for days.  Sorry about that.  Lol.

I’m so far behind in things, and I’ll be perfectly honest, I was so focused on that Miss AZUL audition that I kinda put everything else on the backburner.  Designer contacts for a Penumbra event, updates for Makeover Magic, general things for Relay, blogging… all of it went to the back seat for this audition.  And I felt really good about what I did.  I mean, hell, at least my walk was on point.  Whether they liked the styling or the poses, that’s on them.  People are individual, so there’s absolutely no possible way to predict and tailor yourself to anyone and everyone. All I can do at the end of the day is ask myself if /I/ liked what I styled.  And I did.

I’ll post it soon.  Cause I owe a super huge thank you to someone who helped with my jewelry.  😀

But… I dunno.  I guess I played the whole thing up so much in my head.  I was so passionate about it and into it.  And then… I dunno what happened.  I was still so fired up and passionate, even after I saw I didn’t make it.  I was like, “Hell yeah, let’s kill this Public Vote thing, then.”  And then… I watch the same old faces… the same people who do everything else… and I feel powerless to fight it.

There are so many people… as those on my Facebook have probably seen… there are so many friends pulling for me, and I love them all to death.  The amount of love I feel in those people not only taking a moment to vote, but taking a moment to share the link and ask others that may or may not even know who I am, to vote.  Master shared it on His RL Facebook.  Like… the support from my friends is overwhelming.  And it’s amazing.

But support from genuinely caring people isn’t enough to fight the system.


The system that says you’re either a name or you’re not.  There’s no in between.  And if you’re not, they’ll find SOME way to not let you get anywhere.  I was determined to fight.  I still am.  As much as it exhausts me, I will fight until that poll closes tomorrow.

But I can’t say I’ll be shocked if I’m not one of those final 3 Finalists.  And then what?

Then, I get to sit back and watch the same names in yet another contest.  Some, I will say, are genuinely amazing people.  And those are the ones I will pull for, and hope to do well.  Others, unfortunately, are crown-chasers, looking to add yet another contest to their belt, all while taking opportunities from others who have worked hard to get there just once.

Just once.

Not all of us have people in our corners who will just hand us everything we want without us having to work for it.  Some of us work our asses off for everything we do.  Every opportunity that we come by, is only by the hours… days… weeks… months… years… of tireless effort that we put into everything.

Unfortunately… and I’m pretty sure I’ve said this a lot lately… but I guess that work ethic is rare.  I just never thought watching the same people compete that I’ve been watching for years compete in everything else would be so heartbreaking.

But this time, for some reason, it is.  However, I’ll bounce back from it.  I always do.  I’ve had a lot of practice.  🙂


*~* Teacher, I Feel The Dots Connecting… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Yolandi (Artic Tone; Makeup 04) || Glam Affair || Summerfest
Eyes: Hope Eyes (Fjord) || IKON
Hair: Beach Party (Bodacious Blondes) || Clawtooth || Summerfest
Body: Lara Mesh Body (v3.3) || Maitreya
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Casual) || Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (Flat) || Slink
Nailcolor Applier: Feria de Abril (Rose) || Nailed It || On9 (site)
Bikini Top: Hello Sailor Top (Coral) || Atomic || Summerfest
Cardigan: Sabra Kimono (Tribal 3) || Maitreya || Summerfest
Jeans: Zipper Skinny Jeans (#6) || Maitreya
Sandals: Mara Flats (Blush; tinted) || Ingenue || Summerfest
Nose Ring: Cihuapilli Nose Ring (Gold) || Soedara
Necklace: Cadwyn Collar (Gold) || A Master’s Eye || We ❤ RP (site)
Bracelet: Anchor Bracelet (Gold) || ieQED || Summerfest
Rings: Marina Ring Set (Gold) || ieQED || Summerfest

Bench: Summer Bench (neutral) || ionic || Summerfest
Curtain: Arrow Curtain (white) || ionic || Summerfest
Wall: Wooden Display || ionic || Summerfest
Picture Frame: Palm Frame || ionic || Summerfest

Location: Home

Blogging Tune: “Invincible” – Kelly Clarkson


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