Thinking All Love Ever Does Is Break…

I’ve been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break
And burn… and end…
But on a Wednesday, in a cafe
I watched it begin again

BeginAgain2FINAL

Well, here I am again.  Depending on how much some of you knew from me personally… I disappeared for about a week, week and a half being sick… and just as soon as I came back, my grandmother’s health turned for the worst and she passed away.  Those that remember in February, I had to make the 12 hour drive to take care of all those arrangements and then make the 12 hour drive back.  That took me away for another week or so.  So I apologize for the month or so away.  It’s just been a mess.

The mess is (slowly) coming under control again.

I think.

Meanwhile, one of the first things I did when I came back was rewrite my character in Gor.  I didn’t exactly kill off sapphire… I don’t think I could really do that, given that sapphire’s storyline was always an extension of nia’s/emmy’s… and that started 6 years ago.  A few people did some stuff that screwed up it… like when Valdyr tried to avenge emmy’s death a week after she died… so the timer had reset, etc.  But for the most part, her storyline stayed in tact, and so I was super impressed.

But unfortunately, when I began nia’s/emmy’s storyline, mambas were very rare in SL Gor… and so it was something that provided a unique angle to roleplay, being raised by them.  There’s not a lot about them in the books, so it wasn’t a role a lot of people took on… even in GE.  But NOW… they run rampant.  People seem to have taken the fact that there’s not a lot in the books about mambas to mean that they can make up anything and everything they want about them.  It began to irritate me.  And also, given my love of Gorean dance outside of my roleplay, I wanted to be able to play my character more as a dancer… and found it hard to believe that the clumsy slave raised by mambas would be graceful enough to be a dancer.

So… I rewrote her.  Meet wyntir.

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Wyntir is a lot darker than sapphire was… as you can clearly see.  Lol.  The way she’s written is she was Gorean-born, the daughter of outlaws that lived in a camp on the outskirts of Port Kar.  (*Watches fellow Gorean dancers cringe, especially Rya, and giggles*)  Her curiosity got the best of her and as she grew older she started exploring the city.  She got caught and enslaved and trained.

And now she’s at Vydarr, after being fully trained in Port Kar.

I didn’t change camps, so a lot of things have stayed the same… she’s still a fighting slave… up until a few days ago, she was a camp slave.  Oh yeah… that changed.  *Laughs*  A few days ago, she was collared.  And ya know… for once, I didn’t expect it.  Sure, He’s an amazing person, I guess I just never thought He’d see me.  I had sorta come to the same conclusion that Rya and Kimmie had shortly before Kimmie died… some people just aren’t meant for personal/private collars.  It’s not necessarily a bad thing.  It’s just not for everyone.

It wasn’t a conclusion I wanted to come to.  But it was one that was sorta continuously shown to me.  I finally sorta gave in to it.

But this One… He’s different.  As I said, I never thought He’d even so much as look at me.  That stupid feeling girls get in, like, middle school, where it’s like, “Omg this boy is amazing.  But why would He ever see me?”  That was how I felt.  Complete with butterflies and everything else.  The night He collared me, I was shaking.  Shaking!  When is the last time I can say that I felt that way?  I can’t remember.  I dunno. It was ridiculous, I admit it.  Haha.

He looked at me.  He actually looked AT me, and not THROUGH me.  That’s the only way I can really describe what happened.  He looked at me and actually saw me.  And He didn’t hate what He saw.  For that, I can only thank Him.  Because He’s made me happy.  And I can only hope that I can make Him at least smile.  For the first time in a long time, I look at someone and find myself overwhelmed with simply wanting Him to be happy.  I don’t know.  It’s weird.

Alex, You hear me?  You’re weird!  ❤  P.s. He blogs too.  You can find Him here.

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*~* Thinking All Love Ever Does Is Break… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Anna (Cocoa Tone; Makeup Option 11; No Cleavage) – Aimi Skins
Eyes: Luminous Mesh Eye (Dusky Hazel) – Mayfly
Hair: Unreflected (Grayscales Pack) – Moon Hair
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Elegant) – Slink
Feet: Avatar Enhancement Feet (High) – Slink
Nailcolor Applier (hands & feet): Dark Set (Black) – Nailed It
Top: Nalyah Top (Dark) – Sakide  @ Mystic Realms Faire
Bottoms: Fairy Pants (Darkset) – Death Row Designs  @ The Gathering
Circlet/Headpiece: Elsia Head Chain (Onyx) – Pekka  @ Mystic Realms Faire
Facial Piercings: Against the Stream (Ink) – the HV (Hebanon Vial)
Collar: Caethiwo Collar (Brown New) – A Master’s Eye (AME)
Bracers: Defiant Bracers – LR Weapons
Moon Staff: Moon Staff (Gold) – May’s Soul  @ Mystic Realms Faire
Boomerang (Wings): Arya Boomerang – EZ Weaponry
Staff: Oberon Staff – LR Weapons  @ Mystic Realms Faire
Leg Pouch: Leg Pouch (Black) – The Forge
Blowgun: Kuraro Blowdart – LR Weapons
Eye Scar: Scar Tissue (Strong; Right) – Soedara

Poses: Various from Morphine (now closed)

Location: Vydarr Vanguards
* Not giving a SLURL as it is an active, in character Gorean RP sim, as opposed to a sim for photos

Blogging Tune: “Begin Again” – Taylor Swift

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