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Uttered to Condemn the One Who Hears It…

This will be my last confession
“I love you” never felt like any blessing
Whisper it like it’s a secret
Uttered to condemn the one who hears it
With a heavy heart


Well thanks to a certain little Cao whose page I visited today (and she returned the favor and even followed!  *waves to the Cao*), I now have something to write about.  She participated, and then directed me to Strawberry Singh’s recent meme challenge: Advice for Second Life Newbies.  Oh, this should be fun.

Much like Cao’s post, I feel that this could be applicable to anyone inside of SL, new or old, but my personal opinion is that the sooner you understand these concepts, the better off your virtual existance will be.  Some of these things are coming from a completely pessimistic and jaded mindset… and before I’m called out as a Negative Nancy or Debbie Downer, allow me to remind you that I’ve been here since 2008, even if Tivi’s avatar isn’t that old.  I’m just about as sick and tired of some of the “same old, same old” as y’all are.  I’ve had a lot of experience inside of SL.  I’ve taken risks.  I’ve gotten hurt.  This is me.

And if I can attempt to help a few people not make the same mistakes I did along the way, well, then I think I should give it a shot… Negative Nancy/Debbie Downer or not.

Meme Instructions: List 5 pieces of advice you would give to a newcomer that has just joined Second Life. Don’t forget to leave a link to your post or advice in the comments.


1.) Don’t let anyone pressure you.
While some people will take noobs and prey on them specifically for things like griefer attacks, Bloodlines souls, other vampire systems that allow ‘ninja biting’… keep in mind that nothing is truly NECESSARY in order to successfully live out a virtual existance inside of Second Life (except ‘follow the TOS’ and other such common sense items.)  You don’t HAVE to be a vampire.  You don’t HAVE to do anything you don’t wish to do.  You also don’t even HAVE to look good.  *Chuckles*  I used to think everyone cared about what their avatar looked like… and was super obsessed with keeping their skin current, their clothes current, etc… but I’ll tell you what.  Through my work in SL recently, I’ve been confronted with some of the most circa 2009 avatars I’ve ever met… and you know what… they’re some of the most AMAZING people.  They prefer to focus their time on other things other than what their avatar looks like.  And pretty pixels or not, nothing changes the hard work that they do and the difference they make.  Be who YOU want to be in YOUR SL.  Don’t let anyone dictate it for you.

2.) Sometimes you will be taken advantage of.
Go into this knowing that if you choose to get involved in this virtual world beyond simply exploring and hanging out… if you go into any sort of ‘work’ here, you may very well get taken advantage of at least once in your experiences.  You will find people who will exploit your talents simply because you’re willing to help.  Now granted, among these colossal douchebags, you will find some amazing people who actually appreciate you as a person and the work ethic that you will bring to the table.  You just have to decide for yourself if it is worth holding out for those that will appreciate you.  It’s not always a bad thing to say, “You know, I just want to hang out and relax for awhile.”

3.) Negativity breeds negativity.
It doesn’t matter how happy or positive of a person you are in the ‘real world’… if you surround yourself with negative people in Second Life, you will be viewed as negative… and you yourself can (and probably will) become negative.  That said, there’s nothing wrong with being cynical or skeptical sometimes… surrounding yourself that are all “sunshine and rainbows” to the point that it’s seriously creepy probably isn’t good for your sanity either.  However, a healthy medium is usually ideal.  People tend to judge you as ‘guilty by association’, so I guess there comes a time when you decide what is more important… a friendship (if you actually know it’s a true friendship and not just a situation like #2 above) or your general, grid-wide reputation.  I would say friendship… as long as its genuine.  Unfortunately, my judge of genuinity lately seems to SUCK.  A second opinion would be my recommendation.  *Chuckles*

As you gain more items in your inventory and you fail to organize it… because let’s face it, everyone gets lazy with their inventory at some point… things will become harder and harder to find.  You will have your lazy days where you don’t want to look through all the things in your inventory to put on something to wear that day to go to a club or a show or a live music event or whatever you have to/want to do that day.  Being able to go into your outfits folder and quick change to something you’ve already put together?  Definitely a saving grace on lazy styling days.  That, and when you crash (like we all know you will at the most inconvenient moments) who knows what you could come back wearing… you could be half dressed in something that you put on 3 days ago.

5.) When it stops being fun, you need to make a choice.
You need to decide… is the lack of fun you’re having in this program worth the small bit of time you can spend with friends you’ve made here… or is it time to download a program like Skype or a game like WoW, drag your friends over there, and continue on in a less stressful, more fun environment.  Don’t like a virtual world like Second Life turn you into a hateful, stressed out person.  I don’t call it a ‘game’… because this is real interaction with real people, just in a virtual setting… but even if it’s not a ‘game’, you should still enjoy it.  If you begin to dread logging in… or stop enjoying the things about this place that made you fall in love with it… it’s time to take a good hard look, and consider the potential advantages of taking a break.


*~* Uttered to Condemn the One Who Hears It… *~*

Shape: MINE
Skin: Ivy Skin (No. 14; Bronze, Freckles) – RedMint
Eyes: Spectral Eyes (Field) – IKON
Hair: Crazy In Love (Rouge) – Exile  *~* rigged mesh *~*
Ears: Stekking Ears (Unisex) – Mandala
Hands: Avatar Enhancement Hands (Gesture) – Slink  *~* rigged mesh *~*
Nailcolor Applier: French Manicure Pastels Set – Nailed It
Eyeliner: Liquid Liner (In&Out – up) – DAMNED Bodyshop
Lipstick/Teeth: Glimmer (red/teeth; Deep version) – Pink Fuel
Gown: Beauty – Lybra  (This was a SAVIAD release that I do not see in the store yet)  *~* partial rigged mesh *~*
** Please see “Official Blogger For…” page for all of Lybra’s locations **
Necklace & Bracelets: Copacetic Tallulah – Maxi Gossamer  *~* non-rigged mesh *~*
Headpiece: Zer Wreath (white) – Finesmith

Poses: Regina 7 (Photos 1 & 3); Regina 8 (Photo 2)Katink

Location: Misty Mountain Romance

Blogging Tune: “Heavy” – Florence and the Machine


2 thoughts on “Uttered to Condemn the One Who Hears It…

  1. Absolutely stunning dress! I wannnnnnnnnnT! Great advice, I especially love number 4. Do you know I only recently started doing that? I used to religiously copy the items of a look and put them in a separate folder with the name of the outfit because I believe if you place the items on one piece at a time it better “saves” the look in memory should you crash. Not sure if there is truth to that or not, it was what I was taught, but recently, since I rarely do shows, I’ve become a lazy, um, heifer. 😉 Excellent post and love your blog! 😀


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